My Immortal
by BeautyIsHerName
Summary: There's just too much that time cannot erase. Bianca deals with the death of her brother K.C. and the betrayl of Drew. She finds a friend and maybe something more in an unexpected person. Batie/Kianca *DISCLAIMER* Please Review
1. It's A Hard Knock Life

It's a Hard Knock Life

Jay-Z

Chapter 1

…..

It was a month. A tortuous month with nightmares….and hallucinations. Hallucinations of him. her brother. Her adopted brother. But blood could not make them closer. The brother who was taken away from her. Without mercy. Without warning.

By a man who fell asleep at the wheel. The ambulance. The red and blue lights. The stretcher. That call. The officer's voice. Rang in her head. Clear as day.

"_I'm sorry…" that was all he had to say for her to break down. Dropping to the concrete. Scraping her knee. Taking in the totaled car. The broken windshield. Not knowing how loud she was crying….or screaming. Her foster mother attempting to hold her. But the brunette pushed her back._

"_No…..no…." She screamed until her voice became hoarse._

The way he told her, like she lost some car keys rather than a person, her friend. Her best friend. The only person who saw true potential in her was gone. The one who knew all her secrets, was not coming back.

Walking to concrete steps, she saw the millions of flowers that still laid there. His memorial. The big gray letters, "Degrassi Community School." Nothing had changed there. But apparently she had. As the million faces looked at her like she were a ghost.

And she was. Trapped in time. In living purgatory. Taking a deep breath. She walked up each step slowly.

Everywhere she looked, she saw him. Playfully bumping into her. Laughing at his dry humor. Him watching her crazy dance moves. Them in library studying. Quizzing one another. They were such nerds.

And as she walked inside, the stares continued. As if they didn't know what to say to her. Or how to greet her. She only kept walking. Hoping she would make it to the restroom before her legs would falter. She did need another mental breakdown. She had to be strong for her mother.

The mother who gave the two a home and love. And she repaid her….by distancing herself from her….and everyone around her. But she didn't want to talk life without K.C.

The picture of him by his casket. His goofey smirk….and sandy hair. But it was like he was with her. Telling her to be strong. Don't cry…only smile.

But it was so hard to do. O so hard. She should have learned by now to never get attached to people because they would be taken away from her.

"Bianca….Bianca." a masculine voice shouted from behind. No not him. not now. She kept moving faster. Almost there. Almost there.

"Bianca….Bianca….." the voice kept coming closer. But luckily she made it inside.

Inside to where she could at least have some privacy. Sitting on the stall, she leaned her head against the stall wall.

Like she wanted to speak to Drew now of all times. The minute he broke up with her, he went to another. Forgetting about her. Just another notch in his belt. K.C. tried to warn her. He did. And look what happened to her.

….

Drew stood by the bathroom. Others thought he was waiting on his girlfriend, but he wasn't. he waiting on the girl who deserved closure more than anything. The girl who put up with his flirtatious ways and wondering eyes.

Bianca deserved more than a status change on facebook. She deserved an explanation. And even more his sympathy after her brother died. His ex-friend. The minute the two split, it was never the same between the boys. And he couldn't blame K.C. for being a good brother to his sister.

Putting his hands in his pockets, he waited patiently. As patient as he could.

_Ring_

The bell for class. Kicking himself mentally, he saw others scatter to class. Except for her. He couldn't leave her like this. Not after what he had caused her. Hoping no one else was in there, he opened the door.

"Bianca?" the olive boy asked softly hearing her sobs. Gently knocking on the door.

"Go away…you don't belong here anymore." She folded her legs to her chest. Holding herself. She remembered how K.C. would let her put her head on his shoulder whenever she felt like this. Discouraged. No hope in the future.

But who cared about the future now…all she cared about was making it through the present.

"I…..I'm sorry about K.C." he said on the other side of the door. "I just wanted to check on you." He said.

She dropped her feet to the ground. Wiping her eyes, so she would not give him any satisfaction. He broke her down once. But she would not let him see her broken down to oblivion.

"Wow…..you get a pat on the back." She walked outside the stall. Leaving him behind to watch her. Yes this time, he watch her leave him and not the other way around.

…

Katie saw the brunette walk up the steps. And she wanted to give her condolences. But she didn't have the right to. How could she. She was heartless.

Katie watched as Drew handed Armstrong the tardy slip. Sitting beside her, she smiled kindly at him, as she focused on the Pre-Calculus lesson.

She didn't mean to cause a rift in their relationship. She didn't mean for him to leave Bianca for her. But he did. And guilt clung to her. She had always hated home wreckers. And that was what she was.

It was just tutoring. Helping him with math. And as the days went on, she found herself missing him. But she never made a move. She didn't. She always respected her, but as their conversations got deeper, a void was being replaced in heart.

A void that she never thought could be filled again….every since….

She didn't know how she was living day by day. It used to be second by second. Breath by breath. the day her little sister died of cancer. The day she realized that her annoying little sister was never coming back.

She hated herself for hating Maya so much. She couldn't live her own life because she was too busy taking care of both her mother and sister. She hated herself for believing that Maya was faking the pain….

"Katie….." Mr. Armstrong said her name as the whole class turned to look at her. One of her usual trances again.

"Sorry….I didn't hear you." She said.

"Can you tell me the derivative of this expression." The man pointed to the chalkboard.

"…" The girl shook her head as Armstrong looked at her sadly. Knowing where her mind was.

"you ok babe?" Drew whispered when the man turned his back.

"Yeah….." She said sadly. This was going to be the best for her right now. Learning to live with the pain and guilt. Remembering Maya's body hooked up to those machines. Not being able to talk. The nights she held her hand wishing she could take the girl's place. She had so much to offer the world that she didn't.

Her voice. Her music. Her vision. And it was snatched from her. Forever.

But when she hung out with Drew. His derpyiness, made her forget for a little bit. She never thought she would be able to forget about her heartache. And she needed that.

That was why, when he kissed her that night….she didn't push him back. But she should have.

It was easier when the brunette was gone, but now she was back. Every time they would see each other at the mall or The Dot, the red head's eyes would dart away from the brunette's who had every right to hate her. She had no remorse for others.

Just like she had no remorse for her little sister. Holding her tears, Drew touched her shoulder.

"You ok?" He asked sincerely as she shook her head.

"Mr. Armstrong. Can I go to the restroom?" She asked.

"Are you sure you don't need to see…" He began.

"I just need to go to the restroom." She reassured him as he nodded.

….

Bianca sat on the roof, remembering how much of a badass she was. How she loved to break into vending machines. And start petty fights with girls. And then it somehow changed….

_ "So this is what you really want for yourself?" K.C. asked as she shrugged. A new life was ahead of them as they waited patiently. Their new mom signing papers._

"_It's what I'm intended to be….what everyone has forced down my throat." She said as his eyes observed her curiously. That was Bianca for you._

"_So you are a follower. You aren't allowed to make your own destiny." He used his reverse psychology as the brunette rolled her eyes._

"_O.K. I get where you are going with this….but….." She began as she shrugged._

"_but nothing Bianca….we have been tossed from family to family…..and there is actually someone who wants us in theirs. This doesn't happen every day. Let's not take it for granted." He looked at her as they sat in the office of the adoption agency._

And he was right. Right now she was taking her mother for granted. Sneeking out in the middle of the night. Not telling her where she was. She was hurting them both. But right now pain was all she knew off. A sleeps at the park were the only thing that cleared her mind.

Just to get out of house. Just to not constantly yell at the woman who she had grown to love. Why do we hurt the ones we love the most. The woman who made breakfast for her. Who listened to her. And then it all changed. That day. Still the ringing of the sirens.

_Slam_

She turned around hearing the noise. Great she was caught.

"Katie." She said blandly just staring at the girl who cringed slightly. She wished it was a teacher. Or even the principal.

"Bianca…." Katie took a deep breath. Wanting to disappear. Now she facing one of the main people who reminded her of why she was a terrible person.

"I should…I didn't mean to disturb you." She said softly as Bianca watched the girl's unsure posture. Looking at her reminded her of everything she wasn't. that was why Drew left her.

Dedicated. Straight-laced. Loyal. Gorgeous without end.

"That would be a good idea." The brunette stated as Katie closed the door. At least the bitterness between the two was dissolving.

…..

Drew watched as Katie sat down beside him. The sadness still there, but the tears gone. Looking at the seat across from him, K.C. sat there. And every time he walked in class…he swear he could still see him.

He still felt his ex-friend's judgmental eyes on him. But he still missed him. And he never got the chance to tell him what a good friend he was until he messed it up. Like everything. He was trying to make things right with Katie, but he felt as if they were growing apart.

Katie tried to pay as close attention to Armstrong as possible, but Drew's eyes on her were feeling unbearable. He was so sweet to her. And so supportive. Listening to her memories of Maya. Helping her take care of her mother.

She wondered what he was like with Bianca? Did he tell her the same things? She know he did. Biting her lips she remembered seeing him walk with his arm around Bianca and her hand around his waist. The many times she wished she was that girl.

And how she envied Bianca.

But she now she saw what it was like to be with the hottest guy at school.

Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it.

…..

"Life still goes on…." she said aloud convincing herself that K.C. would want her to celebrate his life and not mourn. But it too hard. Life was too hard. Way too hard.

Opening the classroom door, she saw Armstrong at the board as others copied what he wrote.

"Bianca…take a seat." He said gently. He couldn't write her up for skipping. He did have a heart.

"Thank you." She saw an empty seat in the front. Sitting her bag down, she looked seeing Katie and Drew sitting together in the back of the room. At least they were all the way in the back. Far away from her.

Maybe if she pretended, they would go away…. silly wish.


	2. It's A Hard Knock Life part 2

It's A Hard Knock Life

Chapter 2

Jay-Z

…..

Bianca smiled at Connor's demeanor. Others may think he was weird, but he was adorable to her. His innocence and nativity to other people and their actions was awkward. But that was Connor. Every day he was growing…emotionally. Dealing with his problems more reasonably.

Walking to The Dot, he was telling her facts about anything. His randomness didn't disturb her; it was refreshing for her to know that not everything had changed.

As Connor opened the door for Bianca, he was trying to ignore the missing piece of his heart. His dear friend. But like his therapist told him, death was a part of life. But he didn't want it to be so close to him. This wasn't supposed to happen. K.C. was supposed to be here eating a double cheeseburger. Rolling his eyes at him when he talked about CNN and current events while Binx was supposed to be laughing at them.

"I miss him too Connor." Bianca looked at him smiling sadly as he nodded.

"My therapist told me that when I get sad to remember the happy moments. But it makes me sadder." He dropped his head as he sat down at the booth.

"Me too." She said.

"So how is Lena?" He asked as he looked in a menu. He was trying to not get the same thing every time.

"as well as to be expected." She said feeling guilt stab her heart.

Adjusting his glasses, he found himself laughing, looking up at her.

"I guess K.C. lives on. What would he do if he knew I was trying something new." They both laughed.

Katie dreaded this. Watching the two enter the eatery. Moving from behind the counter she put her hair in a ponytail. She plastered a smile on her face with a tablet in her hand. The key was to occupy as much of her time as possible. A job was what she needed.

Taking orders…customer to customer she began to fake it until she made it. But she hoped she would "make it" soon. Her mind drifting back to little sister. How she used to love coming here with her friends.

Looking up, she the Marisol and her spirit squad walk inside. The boys eyes looking at them as if they were queens. Tori hugged her as she arrived at their table.

"Hey babe." Marisol hugged her as they sat at a table waiting for her best friend to take their orders.

Connor watched Katie take her friends' order. Biting his lip, he was debating whether or not to tell Binx. She would find out soon enough seeing how the gorgeous red head was working towards their table.

Bianca continued to look at the menu as if she didn't know what she wanted.

"Connor…do you want to split a….." She began as she felt a sense of awkwardness at her table. "What?" she looked up seeing Connor debate mentally.

"Ummm….." He used his head to signal for her to look the other way.

Katie Freakin Matlin…..

"O shit…." Frustratingly said folding her lips as the red head made her way to the table. Her nose pierce flawlessly accenting her features perfectly. Why couldn't this girl ever have an off day?

"Look…." Katie said calmly with her pencil in her hand. "I know you wish I would evaporate…."

"Got that right….." Binx said as Connor was waiting for a cat fight to occur.

"…..But I just need your order….after that….we can pretend to not notice one another." She said as her ringtone interrupted the conversation loudly. Why did "Bleeding Love" have to echo through the room at this time.

"Wow….Leona Lewis….tell Drew I said hello." Bianca said bitterly as Katie took a deep breath pressing the "ignore" button.

"Just tell me what you want?" Katie said with agitation.

"….someone's salty." Bianca smiled at her smart remark. Connor just looked at the two. He was expecting for thunder to strike and winds to shatter the windows.

"I will take a Philly cheesesteak meal with a coke." She said.

"I will take a double bacon cheeseburger…..extra pickle…and a chocolate milkshake." Connor smiled handing her their menus.

"Light ice…." She told the red head in spite who walked away angrily.

"Bianca….let it go….." Connor said. "I mean…..you didn't actually think that you two were going to get married or something."

"….No….." She said. "But you act as if I don't have the right to be angry."

"You do…but Drew is a dumb jock. You are wasting your energy on a guy who still can't tie his shoes." He laughed as she found herself laughing too. Yes K.C. was defianately with them because that sounded like something he would say.

…..

Katie walked behind the counter, placing the order in front of the cook. Her friend following her.

"Marisol….stop…I know what you are about to say." Katie said wiping her hands.

"How can you say that Katie-kins? The way she is staring at you." Mare looked at her sister.

"because she has her own problems….."

"And so do you." Marisol defended her friend. "she just thinks she intimidates every girl she comes across. What a loser." She rolled her eyes.

"That happens to be the sister of the guy you use to hook up with….." Katie stated.

"Yeah…..I know….. don't forget about Jenna. It wasn't like he didn't make his rounds. Girls just labeled." She shrugged as Katie wiped off the counter.

"Just don't start a fight at my job." Katie pleaded.

"Ok I won't….." She eventually gave in to her friend's command returning to their table.

She knew she sounded like a bitch for not taking Bianca's feelings into consideration. But Katie was her best friend. They shared both pain and joy together. She never thought she would feel the pain of losing Maya. And Katie. When the sweet girl died, a piece of her friend died too. But it humbled them.

Taught them to not take people for granted and to show compassion.

Looking at the beautiful Pilipino, she knew who would lead her team when she would graduate. Maya's sidekick whose eyes lost their luster, but she still hung in there. A strong female she was. She couldn't imagine her life without Katie.

Bianca looked at the preppy black girl take her seat. The slut who thought she was entitled to every boy that crossed her path. And it made her angrier. That whole little clique who overlooked others and saw themselves at the top. And didn't care about anyone else.

Her hand on her glass, if it were plastic, it would have broken.

"Binx." Connor said as Bianca continued to stare at Marisol.

The girl tried to ignore the reformed badass's glares. She kept reminding herself that she was at Katie's she was never one to run away. And if she had a problem, she would always face the situation head on. Dropping her wrap, she stood up as Tori tried to restrain her wrist.

"No mare." Tori pleaded as the black girl approached the table.

Katie looked up from the register seeing the two. O shit.

"No Mare please." She whispered hurriedly handing the customer back his change.

….

Carl and Gwen Matlin entered the little bakery in the middle of town. Though the outside and décor was mediocre, it was a total contradiction of the flavor and taste that came from just one bite from everything.

The muffins, pastries, cakes and pies were displayed so extravagantly. The aroma in the air that lightened anyone's mood. The flowered wall paper and workers in the back, enjoying their job. The wooden tables arranged around the area. Some simplistic things caused the greatest joy.

Looking at the woman at the register, they smiled at the middle aged woman. Her hair with strips of gray, she found reason to get out of bed.

"Carl and Gwen….how are you?" She asked leaving from behind the counter as she watched the waitress give other customers their orders. She really needed a breather. And seeing her two best customers enter the bakery made her breathe. Being around people who experienced the same loss as she.

"We should be asking you that. One of your workers told us that today was going to be your first day back since…." Carl let it hang in the air.

"You can say it…since K.C. died…" she bit her lip as she walked them to her little office. Gwen looked at the older woman as she sat down at her desk. Wrinkles were beginning to form on her forehead.

"I was never able to have children, and the minute I got my new son….he left me…" She said as Carl closed the door.

"We know how you feel."

"Is this how it feels to lose a child….that constant stab….that constant bitterness…the anger at yourself for not protecting him…..i couldn't have loved him anymore if he were my blood. I only had him for three years." She said as Gwen reached over grabbing her hand.

"when we lost Maya…" She said softly. "I…I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Especially you. You have the biggest heart I know. Opening up your home to children you don't know." Gwen praised.

"But it just seems that no matter what I do…..my daughter doesn't get it..she's lashing out at me…..constantly back talking…..constantly trying to push me back…" Lena cried harder.

"She's lost someone too. When Katie lost Maya, she went through a whole transition. Cutting and dying her hair, changing her clothes…but eventually she came back to us…." Carl stated

"Don't lose hope in her." Gwen emphasized as she nodded her head.

"Do you need a donation….my company…" he began.

"No…..everyone is trying to give me handouts. I don't need it. But I do need to be here. To get my mind off it." She said as they nodded.

…

Mare stood in front of the table. Arms folded. Connor looked scared. Good . because she wasn't. she wouldn't let this girl who loved to intimidate threaten her or her best friend.

"O Marisol…what brings you here?" Bianca's sarcasm ticked her off.

"Do you have a freakin problem. Because I'm trying to eat my meal and your eyes keep darting my way." She said as Bianca only laughed condescendingly.

"You know what you and Katie are definitely best friends. You two only think of yourselves and no one else." Bianca stood up refusing to be intimidated by the preppy princess.

"You don't know anything about Katie….and what she has been through…or why she does what she does.".

"Of course you think she's nice….anyone's nice compared to you. You're a slut….and Katie is just like you." Patrons began to observe the scene.

"It's one thing to talk about me….but don't about Katie." Marisol defending her friend. "And another thing….if he was so happy with you….why was he looking for an escape with someone else?" Marisol defended.

"Probably the same reason why K.C. went for you….because he knew you would give it up." Binx said triumphantly.

"Marisol…..Bianca….." Katie stood in between the two girls. She knew this would happen. She knew her sister. Damn it Marisol. Both faces mirroring each other. Both with strong personalities.

"Katie get out the way." Marisol said as Bianca smirked.

"you two are trash…..pure shit." Watching the two seeing Katie eyes water. Maybe there was a little soul in the red head after all.

She attempted to walk off. Connor just watched. He didn't know if he should follow her or let her go. She did need some time to collect herself.

"Trash this." Marisol grabbed Connor's milkshake pouring it on the badasss from behind. She was so fast Connor couldn't stop her.

All he could do was watch. It was too late.

"O my God." Bianca paused as her mouth opened feeling the coldness of the beverage creep through her hair on her face….as everyone in the eatery stared at her.

"Marisol…..go." Katie told her sister.

"But K….."

"Just go….." Katie made her leave. She loved her friend. But when she got mad, she did impulsive things.

"Bianca I am so sorry." She took a rag out from her apron, wiping off her shirt. This girl was not going to insult her. Then help her.

"Don't…don't." She said to the girl as others looked at the two. Opening the door, Katie followed the girl.

"Bianca….I am trying too….."

"I know what you are trying to do….make my life a living hell. My first week back and you managed to humiliate me in for of the whole restaurant." She stated.

"Bianca, that was not my intention. It honestly wasn't." Katie said watching the other girl wipe her eyes with her hands. Even with melted ice cream on her face she was stunning.

"Sure….you and Marisol are both devious." Bianca attempted to walk away leaving her behind.

"You know what. You are the only one to lose someone. I know it hurts but I promise I didn't mean to do this to you. The only thing I can do is to apologize."

"Keep it…because I don't want it." Bianca walked away.


	3. Skyfall

Skyfall

Chapter 3

Adele

….

Biting her lip, she wanted to hide. Drew was there. Sitting on her front steps. A look of confusion on his face. Getting out of her car, she couldn't hide her fluster and annoyance. Everything was just piling on top of another. And she found herself wanting to jump into the deep end. Leaving it all behind.

Drew saw the studious girl walk up to him. Her hair in a messy bun. And her skin clammy. She had kept ignoring his calls.

Was he doing something wrong? He just didn't understand her. And he honestly believed she didn't honestly understand herself. Why she did the things that she did. And it drove him crazy. When did their relationship turn upside down?

The day Maya died. And he thought he could get the old Katie back. But she was gone to him. nothing was the same about her.

Standing up, he saw she didn't look in his eyes. Typical Katie when she knew she did something wrong or when she avoiding something. Did she do it on purpose?

"You keep ignoring my texts. What's up? I was just letting you know that I took your mom to the doctor."

"Thanks…." She walked past him as he grabbed her arm.

"Katie…what's wrong. I am really trying here….." He said in defeat. She really wished she could give him an answer but she couldn't herself.

"I know….it's just that…..today…..wasn't…..just forget it. I don't want to talk about it." She shrugged it off.

"It's not just today…..every day lately." He put his hands in his pockets.

"What does that mean…" She looked up at the tan boy.

"Nothing…it's that….you're constantly moody. Avoiding me….are you cutting again?" He asked as she shook her head.

"No….but I didn't mean to be an inconvenience to you. It's just that today…Bianca…." She began to talk.

"Wait did she do something to you?" Drew cut her off putting his hand on his hand. He knew it. Same bitter Bianca trying to mess up everything.

"No…no…." Katie panicked shaking her head trying to get him to listen. But he wouldn't.

"I'll talk to her….don't worry." He said firmly. "I know you aren't use to girls like that. Bianca is cold-hearted and ruthless." Drew said.

"And….you don't think I am strong enough to handle her…Drew you don't even know what's going on…you are jumping to conclusions." She tried to make him listen to her. But he kept on talking

"You know that's not what I meant." He stated. "It's just that its been a year since Maya died….and she took a part of you…." He stated matter of factly.

"…Like my strength." She folded her arms as he hesitantly nodded. Amazing how the truth came out when you weren't looking for it.

"I cant believe you said that." Katie looked him in the eye….scrunching her face in anger. "how would you be if Adam died…..let's see how normal you would act."

"That's not what I meant and you know it. Its just that…you need to move forward and let it all go." He touched her shoulders. As she pushed him off of her.

"….time cant heal all wounds Drew." Katie walked in her home. Refusing to look back at him.

…..

She still felt the cold liquid in her hair. That damn Marisol. And the nerve of Katie to try to help her. But in that one second, she could have sworn that she saw real emotion in her eyes. She knew it was silly….but she swore she had…..

Her tone had changed from its usual seriousness to genuine concern….wait what was she thinking….she must be sane for thinking that the main HBIC had changed her ways….

Seeing her mother's bakery, she stepped inside. Not too many people there but their eyes were on the girl who entered with chocolate stains everywhere.

"Binx." Lena approached her with alarm on her face. Bianca smiled mentally at the woman. She fretted over every little thing she and K.C. use to get themselves into. But to see the love and concern in the woman's eyes always brought joy to her, though she dare not show it. What if she would leave her too.

"It's just ice cream…." She tried to make it seem like it was no big deal. Like the woman's eyes weren't enough to make her cry. Being tossed from one home to the other. Being beaten and thrown like trash…and this woman made her weak enough to show emotion.

"Who did this to you?" Lena's motherly instinct kicked in as a worker gave her a wet towel.

"Just these girls at school who make it their number one goal to….." Lena made her take off her jacket as she talked.

"So I will talk to the principal…" The woman sat her down wiping her face.

"I can do it myself." She grabbed the towel from her hand. "And besides it was at The Dot….."

"But I'm sure the girls go to your…" Lena hated when her daughter wouldn't let her in.

"Mom….I got it….don't worry." Bianca kissed the woman on the forehead as she walked in the back. Turning around the workers looked and smiled. It had been a while since she called her mom…or kissed her.

…

The words kept ringing in Katie's mind.

_ You're a devious person_

And she knew it. Walking inside her home, she still expected to hear beautiful music from her sister's cello. Biting her lip, she dropped her bag walking passed her sister's room.

Looking inside, still hurt her heart. The eerie absence. Her golden trophies from competitions. Her programs from concerts. The cards from her friends and associates that she affected. Looking at her pictures, family and friends….she cried.

She thought she finally ran out of tears but she didn't. Wiping them away, she picked up the picture of the two together. Sticking out their tongues. This was really one of the only moments they got along. The day was hot. And a local indie band was performing in the park. She decided to take her there to cheer her up about some boy liking another girl instead of her….

"_Maya this happens….I know it sucks…but trust me somethings are for the best we just don't know it yet." Katie ate her ice cream as the blonde frowned._

_ "Easy for you to say. Boys flock to you left to right…..I wish I could be…"_

"_Don't ever say that Maya….don't….because you are your own person. And you shouldn't change because of some guy….if he can't see what an amazing sweet person you are….screw him." she said with passion._

_The blonde laughed._

"_You sounded like Marisol right there. She said the same thing." Maya shrugged as a tinge of jealousy stung Katie._

_ "I didn't know you talked to Mare….."_

"_Yeah…..it's just that sometimes…..you're not the nicest person to be around….a robot…." Maya shrugged._

"_I know I can be…..but I promise I will be better to you. I love you sis…." She smiled as the blonde hugged her._

_ "me too. Thank you."_

But she didn't keep her promise to her. And now that she was gone, she couldn't turn back the hands of time. And her hands gripped tightly to the picture frame…throwing it across the room.

….

Drew sat down on the park bench. This was becoming a constant losing battle for him. He was damned if he did and damned if wasn't. Placing his hand on his face, he realized relationships weren't probably just for him.

Katie had so many layers to her. One minute she was this sweet soft girl, the next she was like an unexpected tornado. And she didn't know how to stop herself. But he was trying to do the right thing. Putting himself in her shoes. Her world was turned upside down. Everything was out of her control. And he couldn't put it back together.

But he knew he needed to talk to Bianca. Katie didn't know her, like he did. And he wasn't going to let her be one of the wedges in his relationship.

Looking up, he enjoyed the green scenery. The loving couples going for a walk. That used to be them….it also use to be him and Bianca too. He was such a screw-up.

Closing his eyes, he tried to relax. Maybe all he needed was break. A break from constantly being reminded of how much of a failure he was.

"Drew….." a voice said trying to get his attention.

"Drew." The voice repeated. Opening his eyes at the light tone, he saw a beautiful blonde look at him with a friendly smile on her face.

"Hey….everything alright….I'm surprised you aren't with Adam goofing off." She asked stopping her ipod. He couldn't help but notice how her exercise outfit fit her perfectly toned body.

"Yeah….." he said giving her a hint to sit down by him. nothing wrong with friendly conversation.

"You're are such a terrible liar." She sat down beside him. Jenna slowed her heart from speeding. He was finally talking to her. She never had any chance to talk him by herself.

"It's just that…Katie and her woes….and then there's Bianca." He said needing to talk to someone one.

"Just be there for her….but you also have to do things for yourself too." She analyzed his situation.

…..

"Katie." Gwen searched for her daughter as she rolled through their home. Their home they had to get used too without Maya. How she missed her small sweet child opening the door, hugging her. But she had to be strong for her husband and her other daughter who still latched on the pain.

Hearing the light sobs, she knew where her daughter was. Finding Katie on the ground, holding the broken picture frame in her hand.

Not again.

"Katie…" Her mother gently slid herself down from her chair. Resting her head in her lap. Her tears flowing.

"It's still not fair mom. Why did she have to leave…it should have been me. I was the selfish one." Katie clutched onto her mother.

"Because sometimes we are not aware of the universe's plan." Her mother said looking down at the girl's tear stained faced.

"She was supposed to accomplish great things. She taught me so much….and in return….I taught her nothing." Katie sobbed as Carl searched for his family. Walking inside finding the two on the ground. Seeing the shattered glass on the ground. He stared at his daughter with alarm.

"Katie let me see your arms." He said frantically.

"Dad….it's not what you think." Katie looked at them both. "I promise."

"I said….let me see them." She only nodded at his command. Raising up her arms, they saw no new cuts only old ones. Seeing the relief in their eyes.

"I told you." Katie said hurt that she only added to their worries. She had stopped a while ago. She could never forget how the blade felt piercing the skin. Her punishment. The pain. The blood leaving her veins. It was never too far away from her, but she promised herself and Maya that she never would do it again.

…

Leaving her shower, Bianca was relieved to get out all the gunk out her hair. Walking into their small kitchen, she pretended that K.C.'s room didn't exist. Too much pain.

Seeing her mom in the chair, asleep. Her head on the table. Looking at the small amount of bills displayed before her, Bianca decided to finish writing them for her. Looking at the forged signature, she smiled.

K.C. had taught her well.

"Come on mom." She gently woke her mother up.

"No….I'm not done yet…." Lena's green eyes looked at her.

"I did it all…..let's get you to bed." Bianca rested her arm around her waist as the woman didn't protest. Both were mentally exhausted. Tucking her in, she kissed her forehead.

This woman didn't deserve her brutality. Walking into the living room, she swore she could saw K.C. watching tv as he did his homework. But it wasn't.

Hearing the ring from her phone, she ran to her room. Looking at the screen, her expression was of confusion and little bit of shock.

"What does Drew want? Probably nothing." She asked and answered the question aloud. Hitting the ignore button, she put it on her charger.

….

Were her parents ever going to gain back faith in her. Would Drew let her fight her own battles. How could she expect them too. She lost faith in herself. And she couldn't find it.

It seemed like nights like this, time stood still and she found herself wanting to stand still with it. The park was her only place of refuge.

Looking at the bench, she laid down on it. Closing her eyes, her memories flashed before….and all she could focus on was the bad….

"Maya can you stop playing….I have to figure out this budget for student council." She walked to her little sister's room, using her rude tone.

"So I am disturbing the princess." Maya said with sass and sarcasm as she continued to play.

"Typical you….thinking everything is a joke." Katie said forcefully.

"Typical you….taking yourself too seriously." Maya kept playing. She needed some distraction from the dizziness she had been feeling lately. And the mucus in her throat wasn't pleasant either.

"Whatever….just stop." Katie stated as Maya pretended not to listen.

Katie grew furious as she took the girl's sheet music throwing it across the room.

"Bitch." Maya said loudly as Katie slammed the door behind her.

"Maya…please forgive me….please…." She held herself hoping Maya could hear her. Feeling the scars on her arm, she cried herself to sleep. Hoping that wherever Maya was, she how her big sister really felt.


	4. Skyfall part 2

Skyfall

Chapter 4

Part 2

….

Treading slowly on the hard concrete, this time she left her mother a note. Her mother…..Lena…who she knew she was hurting the most. But today, she did not fight her. She let her take care of her. And in return she cared for her mother.

That is what KC would want for her to do. Being bounced around, place to place….it was hard getting accustomed to having a stable place to lay her head. And now she had her dream….well half of that dream.

The dream she wanted with KC in it. The night air hitting her cheeks, she continued to walk. Passing the many bushes in the park. Amazing how something looked completely different in the dark.

Amazing how people from the past seem to try to pop back up? What could he want? Was this another one of mind games. Yes it was but her bitterness couldn't make her forget all the memories they shared.

Her first time. The first time she truly let someone in.

_He was gentle. He moved slowly inside of her. Wiping away her tears. Looking her in the eyes._

"_I love you." He said kissing her._

She thought it couldn't be more perfect…until Katie came into the picture.

"ughh…." She let out a sigh of disappointment in herself. It seemed like everyone was on her side. Who would be on hers?

And this fury on her mind, kept her walking without fear through the cold night. Too angry to be scared. That was what Drew did to her. K.C. had tried to warn her. He was out for himself. But she told him he was different. Yeah right.

That was what a rough life did to her. Anyone who she opened their heart to her consistently, she fell in love with them. A mistake on her end.

Folding her lips, sniffed as the breeze became cooler. She to find someplace to sit. And she didn't want to be at home. It wasn't home without K.C. Walking further, she made it to a bench. Finding someone laying on it. Probably an aimless wanderer.

A wanderer who had it better than she did and didn't even know it.

Searching for another bench, she walked passed as she began to hear mumbling.

"no….no….." it said loudly. The person was obviously having a nightmare. She knew their pain. The figure trying to clutch itself. Hearing the moans louder, she stopped in her tracks

Wait. She knew that voice. Turning around, she heard the yell again. Katie.

"Maya…..come back." Walking up to the girl seeing her tears in the moonlight. Bianca observed her. But she didn't know why.

"It should be me….." Katie mumbled _seeing her sister lay lifeless in the hospital bead._ _Holding her thin body to her. Her parents trying to hold her back. She breaking away from them._

"Katie." Binx rested her hand on her shoulder. Gently shaking her. It was as if today hadn't happened. And her concern was for any other person. And she forgot about her animosity or Drew.

Her weakness was that she cared too much. No one could see that. And when they saw it, they took advantage of it.

"Why did I make you leave…" her tears fell as she began to breathe shallowly. Her eyes opening. Adjusting to the darkness. She saw her curly haired rival before her face.

Bianca felt herself blush. The two looking at each other in curiosity. Katie especially wanted to know how the girl who hated her more than anything was in her face at the moment.

"You were having a bad dream…I was just walking by." Binx casually said as if this was normal.

"O….yeah…" the red head shrugged feeling embarrassed as she sat up.

"….I should go….." the badass began to walk off as she felt her rival cling onto her wrist.

"No…about to day…..I wasn't a part of that….I know your life has been a living hell. And I'm not trying to add to it." Her eyes glowed with honestly. As Bianca only nodded as she began to walk off.

Seeing the girl's head drop, sitting on her hands. Bianca unnervingly sat down besides the preppy princess. At the time, this girl….her enemy….was the only one who truly understood her situation. Lena had her own problems. Connor was getting by the best he could.

"So it doesn't get easier…." Asking softly, Katie only shook her head. Finding it odd how this girl was seeking refuge in her. What would tomorrow be like?

"Everyone said in time it will, but that raw feeling just stays….but no matter how much you want to pretend…you can't…because you don't want to forget that she was there."

Bianca listened to the girl's words. They had more in common than she thought. She remembered when she had heard about Maya…..and seeing the downhill spiral of Katie. But the two belonged in two different circles. But she wished she never had known that feeling. But the universe gives no favors. And now she was here too.

"I not only pretend, I lash out…wanting to hurt the one person who gave me what I wanted in this world." Binx cried Katie gently wiped it away. It was the least she could have done. And Bianca jumped at this.

"Sorry…." Katie blushed finding it odd that she felt so comfortable doing so. She, the homewrecker was giving comfort to her competition.

"….it's odd that now we are having a civil conversation." Bianca found herself laughing cynically.

"I'm not a bad person Bianca." The red head looked at the tan girl.

"Who are you trying to convince? Me or you?"

"I just want to right the wrongs I did." Katie said as Bianca nodded.

"You're not bad when Marisol isn't around you….or when a boy isn't on your 'to do' list." Katie blushed at the girl's comment knowing it was true.

"I know that she seems mean, but she is very territorial of her friends….she will protect anyone who crosses the ones she loves."

Bianca shrugged knowing she was the same way….actually the three of them weren't so different.

_Walking into the bathroom, she found the gorgeous cheerleader putting on lip gloss. _

_Looking at who was entering, Marisol rolled her eyes at the girl who had a chip on her shoulder. Placing her lip gloss in her purse, she saw Bianca block the door._

_ "get out of my way….." Marisol stated threatenly._

"_someone's feeling brave." Bianca folded her arms staring the black girl down who's face mirrored hers._

"_I'm going to say this again….get out of my way." Marisol clutched her purse using her strength to not hit this girl._

"_Stay away from K.C….he doesn't need a girl like you in his life…someone trying to get a golden ticket." Bianca stated._

"_Don't get me confused with these other girls. Boys approach me not the other way around. Don't blame me for what K.C wants." The black girl said triumphantly._

"_you may scare others, but you don't scare me….."She bumped passed the rebellious girl as she opened the door._

"Thank you for tonight…" Katie said looking at the girl who was in her own thoughts.

"don't thank me just yet…and a word of advice…..you really need to find some new friends." Bianca said as Katie only shrugged.

"You are entitled to your opinion." She agreed to disagree. Sometimes it was good to leave well alone.

…..

Bianca found it odd how she was able to talk to the girl who stole her everything away from her. Well at the time Drew was everything. But after losing K.C. she realized you could lose worse. But somehow they bonded. What would they be like at school tomorrow.

Looking down at Katie, the girl had fallen asleep on her shoulder. And any girl's natural instinct would be to move so the girl would fall out of the bench. But she couldn't. Her heart wouldn't allow it. And she wondered why.

Drew use to be so close to her mind. Now he was more distant. It didn't sting as much. A little bitter, but not so much to where she lost herself.

Feeling her eyes close, she let sleep take her.

Katie woke up feeling the sun on her face. But she wasn't cold at all. They must have fallen on sleep apparently. But the shock was finding her head in the girl's lap. Looking up, saw Bianca still asleep. Sitting up, Katie woke her. shaking her new associate awake.

"umm….what?" Bianca mumbled in sleep. No one was going to wake her up from the best sleep she had had in a while. No nightmares at all.

"Wake up." Katie swallowed the awkwardness of this morning. "We got school…." She said Katie noticed the beauty of Bianca. Her nose a little red from the winter wind.

"School…." She said in sleep. "School…" She emphasized waking up.

…

Once again, another ignored call. No return of messages. He was getting tired of this. Throwing his phone on the floor, he continued to drive. He thought being with Katie would be more simpler than this. He thought being with Bianca was going to be simpler. What was wrong with his choices?

Waiting for the stoplight to change, he saw Jenna walking to school. He was a gentleman after all.

Jenna saw the handsome charming tan boy drive past her on her way to school. Katie didn't know how good she had it. A guy who was willing to sacrifice his own happiness for her. Putting his life on the backburner for her. It frustrated her so much. But seeing them together always frustrated her. Though he noticed her, she was for sure all he saw her as was Marisol's little power squader. But to her shock, he offered her a ride.

Who wouldn't take it?

"Can you do this for me every day?" Giggling as she buckled her seatbelt.

"I'll take that as a thanks." He said showing his piercing smile as he changed the radio station.

"So…did you take my advice?" Jenna folded her lips curious of his answer.

"I don't know." He shrugged as the blonde knew he didn't want to talk about it.

"Sometimes….all we can do is give our all….and when that person doesn't want it….we try to…" She began.

"I don't want to talk about it." He continued to drive making the atmosphere in the car quiet.

Parking the car, he was about to turn off his ignition as the cute blond touched his arm.

"No….I love this song." She said as he stopped. "Imagine Dragons." She laughed singing with the song. Raising his eyebrows in interest, he listened to her voice. Not bad at all.

"Quite impressive." He finally turned off his engine.

"…don't make me blush." She smiled getting out of his car. Seeing Tori waiting for her on the corner. "See you later."

Drew watched her. Her blonde hair. Hazel eyes….gorgeous teeth…..a voice like an…..

"Uh oh…." Dallas walked up to him knowing his friend's thoughts.

"Man whatever…"Drew rolled his eyes. "I don't need to hear one of your speeches about sticking with Katie….I'm doing that."

"I didn't say you weren't." Dallas smirked seeing the boy's guilt.

"What's wrong with giving a friend a ride?" They walked to the picnic table.

"Nothing….but the girl is one of the hottest girls at the school." The charismatic black boy saw the stunning Power Squad Captain/School President walk past them. Like he had a chance with her. If every girl at the school thought they were too good for him, he knew she would too.

"Get over her man…you know her reputation." Drew laughed as Mike rolled his eyes.

…..

Marisol noticed him staring at her, and all she could do was keep walking. No point of being interested in guy who just cared about her body rather than her brain. No matter how attractive he was. Or how tall and built he…

"Ow…." She turned to see the culprit who bumped into her. Fitz, the badass who kept thinking she would lower her standards for him. Even she had limits.

"So when are you going to give me a try." The slim boy said leaning up against her locker….watching her.

"Never…..go away….." she said ignoring him as he tried to touch her butt.

"You don't get to touch me." She pushed him not seeing Katie walking up to them.

"We can get the principal involved." Katie gritted her teeth as Fitz laughed smugly.

"How cute….HBIC tag team." He looked at Marisol like a piece of meet. "K.C. said you were good." Marisol angrily shut her locker loud.

"Well you are not him….." She spat fiercely as Fitz held up his arms in defense.

"Whatever…." He walked away bitterly.

"Glad that's over." Marisol let out a breath of relief. "So where were you last night….I was worried….and…I wanted to apologize for yesterday…..bringing my personal animosity into the situation." The black girl held her head down in shame.

"In the park….I just didn't want to be bothered." She told the half lie.

"Well just as long as you don't keep shutting me out." Marisol hugged her as Katie hugged back.

"Katie kins…" Marisol hugged her noticing how tightly she was being held.

"Why can't I be like you? Why can't I hold my head up high when I know I am struggling…."

"You are…people just do it in different ways…you have me and Drew…." Katie only nodded heading off to class...not wanting to admit that Drew wasn't working out

Leaning her head up against her locker, Marisol let out a silent moan. All it took was hooking up with two guys…and it spreaded. She would never get rid of this reputation. No matter how hard she tried.

"You alright Marisol…." A deep voice of concern asked.

"Yeah….." She lied wiping away her tears looking at Dallas. The light skin boy with his hands in his pocket.

"Let me walk you to class." He offered as she shook her head.

"I know where it is." She said leaving him behind as he kept his face straight from showing hurt from rejection. He watched her as she talked to Jenna and Tori in the hallway.

…..

Tori was growing sick of listening to Jenna babble on and on about Drew. Where was Maya to tell her to shut up. She laughed thinking about her best friend who was completely different from her. Her friend who she would not like to think of as dead, but….resting. Getting the painless sleep she deserved.

The many nights she and Tristian visited her….

"Tori…paying attention?" The blonde asked as they walked in the bathroom.

"I can't believe you chose Mare's best friend boyfriend as your target….they will kill you." Tori watched her friend put on some eye shadow.

"Then they won't find out….you promised you wouldn't tell. Or I will tell Mare about your excessive hunger for diet pills."

"I only do that for competitions." Tori stated loudly making sure no one else was in there.

"Yeah right….look…Drew is the guy I have always wanted…..gorgeous, charismatic, caring …supportive …and I don't care what you think or how you judge…." Jenna looked at the Pilipino girl who folded her arms.

"You are really warped you know that…" The sophomore walked towards the door.

"Just remember Mare has no tolerance for drugs." Jenna smiled connivingly.

…..

Bianca was trying to still figure out how Katie ended up sleeping on her lap. But her weight was not oppressive. Shaking her head, she walked up the steps with her books in her hand as Fitz stared at her.

"You could open the door for me." She gave him angry eyes as he took the hint.

"Don't ask for any more favors." He stated walking off the campus. The same Fitz. Never going to change. She was glad K.C. made her see that.

Seeing Katie sitting in the back, they pretended as each didn't exist. It did make this easier….but Drew wasn't sitting by her.

And worst of all, he was glaring daggers at her.

What the hell happened? And was she involved in this?

….

Maybe this would send a message to Katie. To open up her blue eyes and realize what she had. Realize that he was trying his best and he kept getting slapped in the face. He couldn't keep doing this. Not when girls like Jenna existed…not that he would try…..

So into his thoughts, he was shocked to see everyone move. What really shocked him was seeing Bianca walking to him. and Katie trying her hardest not to stare at them.

Maybe this was his sign.

Bianca just wanted to get by. She didn't want drama. Especially when it seemed like she and Katie came to a truce. Biting her lip, she raised her hand.

"Can I work by myself?" She asked as Katie pretended to work problems with her partner. Please say yes Armstrong.

"Only if you want a zero Ms. Desousa." He stated as she simply sat down by Drew who looked at her with seriousness.

"I don't know what your trying to accomplish by bothering Katie….but stop it." The jock warned the fighter turned her head looking at him. trying to keep his voice low, he pretended to write.

"I don't know what you are talking about first of all and second of all you can't tell me what to do." She said with tart.

"Yestereday…..Katie was upset…and she mentioned your name….." Drew said as Katie overheard the conversation. Her face dropped as her partner looked at her with question.

No….no…this wasn't happening to her….the chaos Drew was unknowingly creating.

"O so she told you how Marisol humiliated me infront of everybody at the Dot." Bianca gave Katie a deadly look.

"Stop the lies Bianca….just stop it….and leave her alone." Drew said firmly Bianca threw her book on the floor gaining everyone's attention.

"I'm going to the bathroom." Bianca walked off.

Typical….no one believed her. No one ever would. And why would they. How could Katie do that to her. Tell him it was her fault. What did she do to deserve that? Just like when she was little. What did she ever do to make her mother not want her?

….

Katie watched the girl leave the room. And she had to go find her. Tell her….it was one big misunderstanding. That Drew was being Drew. Acting before thinking.

Turning her attention to Drew, she gave him a look of disappointment and frustration. Why did he have to do it. It wasn't his place. Not paying attention to Armstrong's command, she left the classroom.

Not seeing her in the Zen Garden, she headed toward the roof. Letting out a breath of relief when stood there. Holding herself. Giving her a look of disdain.

"You have no right to be here…..after everything that happened…you used me…" Bianca walked up to her.

"Bianca….no I didn't…." Katie spoke firmly holding her ground.

"Then why did he approach me….Katie I'm not stupid….you think just because I don't have as much as you….you can manipulate." Bianca raged. Another disappointment in a person she had trusted.

Katie saw the hurt in the girl's eyes. And she had to make it go away.

"Bianca….shut up and let me tell you what happened." Katie held her shoulders looking the rebel in the eyes who calmed down.

"Drew hasn't changed at all I see." Bianca listened to the story. Hearing the sporty chic's guilt. Responding as Katie nodded.

"No he hasn't….and I hope you don't think I would do that to you. Because last night showed me I have a friend." Katie said as Bianca nodded.

Katie thought of her as friend. But could she trust this girl? Should she trust this girl?

"So….are we cool?" Katie asked.

"You are such a baby Matlin." Bianca smiled at the girl as she smiled back.


	5. Everybody

Everybody

Chapter 5

V.V. Brown

…..

Over the course of weeks,Bianca was still finding it weird referencing to Katie Matlin as a friend. But she honestly didn't care. It was nice finding solace in a person.

Competition would be anyone's natural guess. But somehow they formed an unspoken bond. Seeking healing through one another. She wasn't as angry with the world anymore.

Walking the halls together, they were like an attraction. And she knew it made Drew uncomfortable. But she didn't care. For once she didn't care what anyone else thought. Even Marisol, who was slowly but surely getting used to the rough chick. Very slowly and very surely.

But she knew Mare understood how hard it was to actually be able to talk to someone who shared the exact same turmoil.

But both girls set aside their issues when they were together.

In the lunch line, she frowned at the food as Mare grabbed an apple saying goodbye. Drew was trying his best to accept the two as he grabbed some yogurt. Katie beside him.

"Do you miss being president?" Bianca asked the flawless do-gooder as she eyed the meal of the day.

"Sometimes…but I don't need the stress…." Katie looked at her plate. "Mystery meat….what joy." Katie said as the other laughed. "ummm….can I sit with you today? I mean…I just don't….Mare has a meeting….." she said.

"And I have to talk to Armstrong about my grades." He kissed Katie on the cheek who smiled lightly as Bianca nodded at the two. Drew gave her an awkward head nod.

"No…..sure…" Bianca lead them to a table. Wondering if that was what she use to look like with Drew. Looking as Katie sit down beside her. Taking her jacket off, Katie tried to eat. Depression was messing with her eating patterns…and exhaustion was wearing her down.

And Drew didn't seem to notice, as they began to drift apart.

"You have to eat something." Bianca said as Katie rolled her eyes. The red head seemed to hesitantly eat as she felt awkward under the fighter's eyes. Her beautiful brown…..

"You sound like Mare." The sporty girl grabbed her fork cutting into the meat. Chewing slowly.

Bianca tried not to stare at her arms. But it amazed her how comfortable the red head was with her body.

"Go on….ask." Katie drank her juice noticing the girl's eyes.

"What made you cut….I mean…I know what did….but how did you do it?" Katie bit her lip finding the courage to speak about it.

"Ummm…." She stood up. "Only Mare knows….you promise you won't tell?" Bianca could only nod as they left the cafeteria to a more private place.

In the corner of her eye, Katie saw Tori walk fast. Not thinking more about it, she pushed it in the back of her head.

…..

"Maya….I know what you are going to say….please don't be disappointed in me." Tori clung hold to skirt seeing the grungy boy across the parking lot.

"Disappointed in what?" tristian asked looking at Tori's panicked face as she stared across the campus. Something was wrong. Something she was trying to hide.

"Nothing…..ummm can you please wait for me in the library." Pleading as Tristan tried to persist.

"I will be there in 10…." She said as he reluctantly left.

Holding her breath she walked closer and closer to him. Sitting in his car, the window down. Fumes from his window as she coughed.

"Sorry didn't mean to make the princess flinch." He got out of his car. Smiling in satisfaction. He knew she would come back. Now that her blonde friend was gone, she didn't have real a real reason to hide.

"Fitz, do you have any?" she asked as he held up the plastic bag with 10 pills. Her eyes gleamed with fascination.

"Does this answer your question…100." He named his price.

"What that's too much. Last time it was 50." Her voice squealed.

"I add interest…" he smirked as she looked at her favorite candy. Her parents kept her close. Fear that she would relapse again. Like she was trying to do now. Under their observation 24/7. Even texted her to make sure. But they didn't understand. She needed it.

"I can't pay for it…." She said.

"There are other ways to do it…." He approached her as she pushed him back.

"You're a piece of scum you know that." She walked off as he grinned. She'd be back.

…

Watching their eyes on her. She wondered what they thought of her. The slut. How could she lead anyone? How could she stand in front of a group of people and delegate. But an honest person would say she did this well.

"Do I have any suggestions for the pep rally? It is for your victory after all." She casually said looking at the hockey team as their minds went blank.

"How about the cheerleaders do a cheer for us?" Owen hinted as Marisol looked at him angrily. Ignoring his statement as the others noticed.

"How about you take this seriously." She gritted her teeth as the muscular boy backed off.

"any sensible suggestions? Where's Dallas?" She looked as the boys had question on their faces. This wasn't like him to miss an event about his team.

"Sorry….had to go get this." He said showing the disc with pride and a hint of cockiness. "It is a presentation I made of us…to show." He grabbed her hand putting the CD there. Looking in her eyes. Not letting her hand go.

As the team watched their moment.

"Ok…good…..I guess I got everything then…" She said. "Meeting adjourned." She chirped as the team left. Owen bumping into Dallas giving him a cocky smirk.

"Ummm…maybe we can work on this together." He said putting himself out there again.

"Mike….I can't…." She said not realizing she called him by his first name.

"O so you know my first name…." he said approaching her.

"Just go away ok…I'm not interested….and I know what guys like you want from me." She said folding her arms. "Unlike the rumors, I actually have self-respect."

"wait…you don't even know that and for you to assume that about me is arrogant….maybe I just….you know what….whatever." he angrily slammed the door behind him.

She didn't mean to hurt his feelings.

….

Stolen stares in the hallway…and car rides in the morning brought them here. In the Zen Garden. While everyone was in the cafeteria . Jenna and Drew were here. Talking, chatting. Realizing that they had a lot in common.

"So…have you heard…that Imagine Dragon is going to be performing here in Toronto?" Jenna said watching him eat his fruit cup. Her eyes gleaming with glee.

"Yeah….." he said watching her flip her hair.

"Well….would you like to go…" She asked seeing his expression change with alarm. "Not like that…I mean as a friend who loves indie rock." She said drinking her iced tea.

"Relax….I was going to say yes." Drew smirked noticing the blonde's beauty. She was so different than Katie. So upbeat…..hot….sexy…..flirty…

"Great….I'll get the tickets….." She squealed not seeing Tori walk pass them looking at her accusingly.

"Will Katie mind?" Jenna knew how he was going to respond.

"she's been doing her own thing lately….like….." Drew shrugged in defeat.

"hanging out with Bianca…" Jenna stated seeing how they would make anyone feel uncomfortable.

"It's just that….I know I sound obnoxious…. Why can't Katie come to me? Why is she reaching out to everyone else but me…."

"Maybe….she feels guilty for bringing you into her situation. You did say you help her take care of her mother. She doesn't want you to worry. You're a good guy." Jenna touched his hand.

"I just wished she told me that." He said sadly gripping hers back. It didn't matter, she would show him she would help him see it was her to make him feel special.

…..

Sitting at the picnic table, Bianca watched as Katie moved her arm for her to see. The few red marks that she still felt ashamed of….but was comfortable enough to show the troubled girl.

"I don't want you to do this to yourself." Katie said. Holding her arm up. The other's eyes looking sadly at her arm. Understanding….seeing her in the position. When tears weren't enough….like this morning…..

"_Mom…" Bianca opened the door to K.C's room. The eery silence as she heard the door creak. It had not been entered in a while. And she could never go inside by herself._

"_It just helps me feel closer to him." Lena clutched his jacket to her chest. Her long hair hiding her face._

"_I can't deal with the fact that he is still gone….I can't…." Bianca held Lena's hand. "I just want things to go back….even being here…I can't be in this room…to many memories." The girl cried resting her head on Lena's shoulder._

_ "Me too, but we will get through this together…." The two nodded._

"I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone." Katie watched her eyes wonder. What would she think of her now?

"Can I touch them?" Bianca asked not waiting for an example.

Gently putting life inside of her. Katie showed a faint smile. Surprised by Binaca tenderness. Like a mother helping a child. Seeing the uncertain look in her eyes.

Bianca couldn't explain the calmness she felt over her body. It was something she didn't want to let go. And she felt odd that her actions weren't scaring her….or Matlin. Touching each scar, there was no flinch….only clarity.

Both in their own worlds, they did not see Marisol walk up to them.

She couldn't look him in the eye as she passed him in the hallway. Why did she hurt the ones that she learned to care for the most? Probably because the ones she learned to trust hurt her the most.

Owen…..she slept with him because she thought he would change his opinion of her. Giving her body to him. She thought it would make him see that she was the one. And when the jock didn't want her….she turned her towards K.C.

The intellectual handsome nerd….who she found out was decent either. The sting still hurt after his death. Spreading the rumor that she was weak minded and easy to get…..and Bianca had the audacity to think she was bad one.

And now Dallas was after her, but what would that look like. Having two players on the same team. She deserved to be called a whore.

Opening the glass doors, she thought her eyes were tricking her. Walking closer, she knew her eyes didn't deceive her. Bianca touching Katie….and Katie….allowing it.

But not just any touch….an intimate touch….and both were smiling. Was this a moment?

Letting out a cough, the girls split apart. A blush forming on both of their cheeks.

"Don't you have store to hold up?" Marisol sat her bag joining the two.

"Don't you have a dick to suck?" Bianca said with bite.

"Whatever….." Marisol rolled her eyes as the badass left.

"Give her a chance….." Katie said.

"Not until she gives me a chance…..she hurt me remember. I was your friend first." Marisol said.

"You sound childish…."

"Excuse me….what K.C. did to me….look I know I put myself in that situation….but she had no place to approach me the way she did. She didn't even know the whole story. People always assume the worst of me."

"Seems like you two have a lot in common…." Katie stated. "Come hang out with us….we are going to her mom's bakery after school."

"No thanks…"

"Come on mare….please. I want my two friends to get along…" mare stated.

"Well we know you two get along….what was that I just saw." The black girl said sarcastically.

"Just showing her she wasn't alone…."

…

Fitz watched his ex-friend storm off from the picnic table. That was what happened when you changed after years of doing one thing. People get accustomed to the old you. So why change? They judged him, but the minute they needed any "contraband" he was their first person to come to. Seeing Tori and her "eccentric" friend, he puckered his lips at her….seeing Bianca sit in the Zen Garden, he decided to join her.

Bianca knew that he was here to twist the knife in her heart. She didn't belong in Drew's world…so how could she belong in Katie's world. And why did she want to belong?

"I don't need this." The reformed girl attempted to walk away.

"Hey….im not looking for a battle every time I approach you." He grabbed her wrist as she sat back done waiting for a response.

"I miss my sidekick….I know I hide it well behind my smart eleck remarks….but I miss my other half." He said.

"Fitz…I appreciate that….but you know I can't go back to stealing money from vending machines, or selling again."

"You know that 'mother' and 'brother' of yours changed your perspective. Ever since you got adopted by her….." He emphasized.

"Was the best day of my life." She stated firmly. "There is nothing wrong with having a family…..having someone to care for…..just because you were content with being alone…didn't mean I wasn't."

"But you don't belong with them….you stick out like a sore thumb….and every time…..i look up I keep seeing them slap you in the face…..you're smart Binx…I thought you would have learned by now…..K.C. really warped your mind."

"K.C. was the best thing that ever happened to me." She defended her brother's name.

"K.C. wasn't as good as you thought. He showed you what he wanted you to see. He had secrets too…."

"You are such a liar…you know what…I just cant have a conversation with you can I. it will always lead to this."

"Binx…..even the biggest liar told the truth." Fitz walked off.

She really didn't know. That K.C. really knew how to hide things…but eventually the truth would be found out.


	6. Everybody part 2

Everybody

Chapter 6

Part 2

…..

No one knew how much strength it took her walk through these halls. Knowing the whispers she heard behind her back. How miserable she was, but she didn't let them have the upper hand. She would not let them see her frown.

She was jealous of Bianca, people gave her a second chance….but where was hers? She worked her ass to prove how smart and responsible she was and no one seemed to notice.

Seeing Bianca walk towards her, she closed her locker and walked off. She didn't need to see her now.

No way was the rebel going to let the girl walk off. Not after what she pulled today.

"Marisol….." Bianca ran towards her.

"We're not done." Bianca reinforced.

"That's funny because last time I checked, I was done with you." She walked to roof hoping to get rid of the beautiful badass.

"Well I'm not done with you….what you said to me was uncalled for." Bianca stated. "I thought we had a truce."

"Are you serious? Just because Katie gave you a break doesn't mean I did…trying to mess up what I had with K.C…..well you can pat yourself on the back….because he dropped me….and not only that…he spread the rumor that I was a whore….." The black girl began to cry….

"Bianca…..everyone gave you a second chance…..why can't I have mine…." She asked.

"Marisol….I…." Seeing the girl cry, she didn't think the girl had emotions. She handled herself so well here. Never letting comments get to her. Always having a smart remark to hurt someone's feelings.

"I just didn't want K.C…"

"I know you didn't want him to get hurt…but he was the one who hurt me…..and I truly cared for him. I wasn't like Jenna." She blurted as Bianca's face dropped.

"I didn't know about her." Bianca stated.

"That's because he didn't want you to know…..I'm sure K.C. was a great brother to you….but he did his dirt too. You have him on this high pedestal…" Marisol stated.

"It's people like you….who like to see me break….."

"Are you serious…..get over yourself…you aren't the only one who had to rebuild yourself…..I still get death glares…." Bianca stated. "And you aren't the only one who has worked her ass off…."

Marisol said nothing.

…

Katie saw Drew at his locker. And guilt crossed her mind. She did need to be a good girl to him. he was everything she wanted. And she mistreated him….because of her selfishness. One thing Maya taught her was to selfless, her predicament wasn't his problem….and she did have to try to readjust.

"Hey….." She held her binder to her chest.

"Are we talking again." He put his books in his bag.

"Yes…I would hope so." She shrugged knowing she deserved the cold shoulder.

"So when will you stop talking to me selectively again….." He shut his locker…leaning against it.

"Hopefully never….I want to be good to you….like you are with me." She said looking in his eyes. "I know me and Bianca hanging out makes you feel uncomfortable…I know me brushing you off one day and talking to you the next makes you hate me more…..and I'm sorry for that…..I can't keep using my sister's death as an excuse." She shrugged waiting for him to say something.

"Katie….I don't want you to ignore that fact that she's not here….or that I am trying to make you forget her. I just want to see you smile again…and I know….I know it's been hard….but I am here…." He hugged her…..eyeing Jenna look at him as he looked back at her.

"Maybe we can do something…..tonight…..or afterschool….."She offered.

"Afterschool…..we can go to this local café…my treat." He smiled putting his arm around her walking her to class. Kissing her on the cheek, he went to his class.

Feeling his phone vibrate, he looked at the message.

_Guess we can't tonight then…..:(_

Drew looked up in his gym class spotting her sad face.

_Are you kidding…..we are still on :)_

Smiling to himself, he put his phone up.

…

Marisol looked below her. Did Fitz ever go to class…of course not. But both girls were mentally exhausted from yelling at one another. Saying what they had wanted to say to each other for so long.

Bianca watched the other…realizing what the studious girl saw in the cheerleader. She always expressed herself. No matter what came out of her mouth, she stood by it….whether she was wrong or not.

"We needed to get that out there…." Bianca said as Marisol nodded.

"Yeah…we did….im sorry for that comment today…I guess I was taking out my frustrations on you….and you don't deserve that…..especially since you have given Katie some solid ground." Mare clutched herself as the other nodded.

"Yeah….it's nice taking to someone who actually feels the same sting as you…" Bianca put her hands in her pocket.

"….and I wanted to say sorry for being jealous of you two." Marisol admitted as Bianca's mouth dropped a little bit.

"You jealous of me….why?"

"Because you are so strong…you lost your brother two months ago….and you are holding up so well."

"I'm not….I can guarantee you that. Katie told me to take it one day at a time….and that is what I am doing….I still get flashback….and my memories hurt me the most." She said tears falling as Marisol looked at her supposed rival.

"It sucks being strong….for everyone…..for me and my mother." Bianca cried as Marisol hesitantly hugged her.

"You don't have to be strong…or put on a whole amount of pressure on yourself." Mare reinforced as Bianca held the girl tighter.

Maybe these girls weren't so bad after all.

…

"Stop teasing me Fitz…give me the pills. I gave you the money…." Tori tried to snatched them out of his hand.

"Not until I get a kiss." Fitz smirked…knowing she wanted the pills. It was a win win situation.

"Stop it or else…."

"Or else what….I tell Marisol…..I tell the principal….what would mommy or daddy do if they knew their prized possession was cheating….what would your gay friend think."

"Shut up." Tori hit him hard as he grabbed her hand.

"You need me more than I need you….." He stated as she bit her lip.

"Hey….jerk….leave her alone…." Jenna rushing over to them. "Give it to her." She folded her arms waiting for Fitz to comply.

"Fuckin preps." He gave the bag to the Philipino girl who walked away from them.

"Hey….. a thank you would be nice to hear." Jenna followed the girl.

"Why so you can have something to hold over my head." Tori said.

"O so you wanted him to force himself on you." Jenna tried to do the right thing. And she was persecuted for it.

"No I didn't." Tori faced the girl who thought she was entitled to everything….and everybody that came her way. Who used her nice deeds as a form of manipulation.

"….but don't think just because you did something nice…I can't see through you. " Tori said not seeing Tristan trying to overhear their conversation.

…

Drew was giving her another chance…and she wouldn't mess this up. She didn't want to lose another person in her life. She hoped Bianca would understand. But what shocked her was Marisol and she talking in the Zen Garden.

"Ummm…..would you get mad if I said I couldn't come today?" Katie interrupted their conversation.

"I guess not…" Bianca stated as Marisol looked at the two of them. It was odd seeing the two together. It was like the wife and the ex-wife. How did they do it? How did they form a friendship that was painted in "no."

"Thanks….me and Drew….." she began.

"You can keep that part to yourself." Bianca stopped her. Not because she was bitter but because she wasn't comfortable hearing about their relationship just yet.

"Sorry….."

"Besides….Marisol's coming with me…."

"That's great…." Katie felt a twinge of jealousy through her heart. Why was she jealous?

….

Tristan knew something was wrong with Tori. She was his sister, and he could read her when no one else could. And he couldn't hide his concern for her. She tried to plaster her pageant smile on her face…but he saw through it. Whatever this secret was….he would find out.

Making sure no one was watching him, he entered the restroom. Checking for her feet, he spotted her high heels.

"Tori" he softly spoke as she froze.

What was he doing in her. Clutching the pills in her hand, she reluctantly put them in her purse. Resting her head in the stall.

She didn't know when this addiction started. It was just the cheap route to win. Then her body started craving for them…like candy. She couldn't live without them. And no one could take them away from her.

"Tori….let me come inside."

"No…..I'm fine….that food has my stomach a little bit upset." She felt worse for lying to her friend as she opened the door.

"What's the real reason?" he folded his arms staring at her.

"I just told you." Washing her hands, she rolled her eyes.

"No…you are lying. This isn't you. Always moody…constantly avoiding others…..including me." He said with hurt.

"Tris….just mind your own business…." She stormed out as he followed her.

"What would Maya think if she saw you acting like this." Tristian stated.

"You leave her out of this…..Maya's dead….and she is never coming back again!" Tori screamed as the whole student body looked at her in the hallways….including Katie…

Who dropped her books staring at the pageant girl who was turning redder by the minute.

She didn't mean to say it. But her thoughts were racing. Sweat forming on her forehead.

"I'm sorry….Katie….but I got to go….." Tori ran out the glass doors.

"It still hurts her." Tristan looked at the gorgeous red head who nodded.

"I know…." Katie put her hand on his shoulder to show there were no hard feelings.

….

Jenna knew how to get a guy's attention. It was all about presentation. The hair, make-up, and body. The good conversation that came along with it…..and the sex that kept them coming back for more.

Like K.C., whom she dropped. He was too boring for her. She needed someone who had more thrills. Like Drew. Seeing him walk down the halls, he smirked at her as he kept going walking with Katie….but she knew who he wanted.

Following behind the two casually, she saw them the two sat down. Walking through the aisles pretending to search for a book. She laughed smugly as she saw Katie walk to the bathroom. Here was her chance.

"So you sure Katie won't mind?" She pretended to sound concerned about her new rival's feelings.

"Yeah….she's cool…." He opened a bag of chips trying to eat quietly.

"She doesn't know does she?" Jenna asked as he shook his head.

"No…..I have nothing to hide….I just don't want to keep adding a wedge between us…." He said.

"Maybe….we shouldn't then…" Jenna shrugged. "You too look like you are on good terms." The blonde knew what his answer was going to be next.

"No….Jenna you are my friend…..and there's nothing wrong with that." Drew insisted as Jenna smiled. Damn she was good.

"Alright….tonight at six then…." The blonde smiled as she checked out a book.

….

Marisol decided to give Bianca a shot. If Katie liked her, then she had to be a good person. Besides….K.C. wasn't coming back…and it didn't make since to hold grudges over something that was over with.

And… the girl wasn't that bad, and it was nice of her to invite her here without Katie. And she knew what it felt like to be the odd girl out.

"By the way…no flirting with the workers." Bianca teased opening the door.

"Hahaha." Mare said sarcastically playfully bumping into her. Smiling at the sweet tunes.

Bianca would have never thought a girl like Marisol would listen to V.V. Brown. An artist who had actual substance. She use to think that this girl valued her body over her brains. But she realized she was sadly mistaken, and the more she talked to her, the more she could tolerate her.

"Bianca…who is this?" Lena approached her child hugging both of them.

"This is my new associate…Marisol." Lena smiled at girl who smiled back.

Taking in the café, she liked what she saw. Soft music playing….bright colors and flowers all around.

"It's so nice to see Binxie with some more friends. Come again. I'll see you at home babe." The woman kissed her cheek as Marisol admired the two together.

"Why don't you show your softer side at school?" Mare asked as they sat down. One of her workers placed two coffee and danishes before them.

"The same reason you don't…."

"Are we actually getting along?" Marisol took a bite of the flaky Danish as it melted in her mouth.

"I think we are." the two smiled drinking.

…

Katie knew she should have let Mare do her make-up, but this was who she was. Take it or leave it. Letting her hair down with her natural curls was the least she could do…sitting at The Dot….she found herself feeling out of place.

But she knew why it had changed….because she had changed. But was it for the best or worst….smiling at him as he placed some cheese fries in front of her face.

"Thanks babe…." She said. Calling him that even felt weird, but he deserved this. Maybe she could make it right. Maybe her feelings would come all the way back.

Her mind kept drifting off to Binx and Mare….she hoped they got along. She hoped they were having fun. But who wouldn't have fun with Bianca. She was so liberated. She didn't care what anyone thought….and she accomplished anything she put her mind to. Like living with the hurt of losing her brother.

"Katie…" Drew chewed his fries rolling his eyes mentally. Not this again.

"Sorry." Katie smiled hiding the fact from herself that Bianca was crossing her mind.

"Here." She fed him a fry.

"I miss this…us being an actual couple." He smiled feeding her one.

"I know….you have been so supportive of me… "

"Katie, let's just focus on the future." He said with a mature tone.

"Yes…."Katie smiled.

"But ….if you are friends with Bianca….just watch your back babe please…."He saw Katie's face sadden.

"I'm not trying to discourage you Katie." He squeezed her hand as she nodded.

When he said comments like that, she could only wonder…but she remembered to put herself in his situation. And he was just caring for. How could she lash out like that.

Katie smiled hearing his phone vibrate.

"Who is it?" Katie asked?

"Ummm….my…mom…She needs me to help my father run errands." He said with agitation. He had to make this believable.

"O…..I thought…." Katie held her head down. So much for getting to know one another again.

"I know….and I will make it up to you. I promise." He kissed her forehead paying the bill. Leaving her behind to sit at a table by herself. So much for getting to know one another again.


	7. Breathe

Breathe

Anna Nalick

Chapter 7

…

"I like this place." Mare sipped her coffee as she saw a familiar figure open the door. The beautiful hockey captain Dallas. Luckily her head was turned as she covered her face. Bianca looked amused by this.

"I never thought I would see the day where you are hiding from a boy." The tan girl watched the boy look at the various selections

"….me neither…." Seeing the boy place an order at the register. He was gorgeous. Beautiful complexion. Nice muscles…she had to stop she was drooling.

Turning his head around. He saw her…and he just had to accept the fact that she didn't want him. Maybe he misread her signals. But her body language still told him something differently. That she liked him too. That maybe….she was scared.

That was his biggest fault. Never knowing when to quit. When to give up.

Bianca looked at the way the two were staring at eachother. They wanted to speak….but were both scared of each other. Dallas was a cool guy. Whenever he were with her and Drew, his humor lightened the mood. From another argument….that damn Drew.

"Dallas, come join us." Bianca said casually as Dallas shook his head looking at Marisol.

"Come on….we don't bite…."Bianca became assertive as Marisol wanted to slap some sense into her. Was she trying to embarrass her?

"Hey Mare…."

"Hey Dallas…" she said trying not to be affected by his Axe.

"So are you going to take me up on my offer for spirit day?"

"I….sure….." Not being able to resist his eyes as he pulled up a chair.

Bianca watched the two together. That was how a guy was supposed to look at you when he liked you. Like you were the only one in the room….in the world….she had seen so many red flags with Drew but kept ignoring them. His flirtatious ways…comments….

Not just at Katie, but any attractive girl.

But to be honest, she knew that she thought deep down that Katie was prettier than her…..gorgeous deep blue eyes, her nose ring, and flowing hair…..wait why was she thinking like this.

As the door opened, the noise disrupted her reverie. Katie…..but she shouldn't be here. She should be with…..Drew.

"umm….Drew had to run errands with his dad." She said looking at Bianca. Sitting beside her as Marisol was so into Dallas she didn't notice her presence.

"Let's get another table. I don't want to ruin their moment."

….

"Welcome to casa Middleton." She said welcoming him inside. "My parents are on a business trip." Looking around, the condo was just like her modern and extravagant. Colorful rugs. Love seats and wood floors.

"cool….." he observed the paintings and mirrors hanging on the wall.

"How was the date with Katie." Jenna asked.

"Alright…." He shrugged. "I mean….good…." he sat down on her leather couch as she followed.

"what happened?" her blue eyes glowed.

"nothing….we just sat there…..feeding each other fries." Reviewing the date in his mind. The lack of emotion.

"That's sweet. I always picture doing things like that with my future boyfriend." She squealed clasping her hands together noticing Drew's eyes on her.

"Yeah…but I was just unaffected….and I don't know why." He shrugged looking at the beautiful blonde.

"Well….how about we focus on something fun." She walked slowly to the tv bending down as she plugged up the game console…handing him a controller.

"My brother….this is his….." she said smiling sadly.

"Where is here?" he asked interested in her life.

"In the national guard…..he will be back in 2 weeks." She smiled turning on the tv.

"I hope you don't mind "Call of Duty." She laughed as he shook his head.

"No…not at all." He knew he shouldn't have been there. That he shouldn't have lied to Katie…but this was better than he expected.

…..

In the café' she noticed the worker's eyes smiling at her. They were happy to finally see her adjusting to others. Talking with words rather than fist and blood. K.C. would be so proud of her now…

Looking at the red head, she noticed how her blue eyes glowed with concern. Concern that shouldn't be there. They both shouldn't be here together….as friends….as associates…or anything.

"Katie….should we really be hanging out?" Bianca asked as Katie's heart dropped. She didn't know why it did. But it did.

"…it's just that….i don't know…I mean…we are so different….night and day." Bianca drank her coffee. "I just don't…."

"No…"-Katie said strongly.

"I know what you mean…..but I need this…someone like you…to talk to. I have been to so many counselors and I felt as if they were just doing their jobs…..they didn't care…but I know that you do….i felt so alone that began to cut….and even Marisol couldn't help me….but talking to you does…so please don't do this to me or you….because I know this is helping you too." Katie grabbed her hand squeezing it.

Marisol blushed as Dallas walked to the restroom. Yes she did like him, but so did almost every other girl at Degrassi. It would be stupid to invest her time in him….besides….she wasn't ready yet….but she was still human. She still saw an attractive boy who was giving her his attention, no matter how many times she brushed him off.

Sipping her coffee, she looked over to another moment. Katie touching Bianca's hand….a good friendship these two had formed…but the intensity in each other's eyes….was there….

"So Marisol…can I walk you home?" he asked hoping this conversation wasn't another bust. But he kept putting himself in this situation to get hurt.

"I….don't…Mike….I…."

"Whatever…" he said in disappointment as she pulled his wrist.

"Ummm….yes…." She stood up as he smiled.

Katie watched the two leave the cozy café. She saw why her parents enjoyed coming here so many times in the week. The crescents made her mouth water. And left her satisfied, but she was satisfied because of something else.

…..

Drew gave the delivery boy a tip as Jenna closed the door. Playing video games worked up an appetite…but for Jenna pizza wasn't the only thing that would put her hunger to rest.

"amazing how much fun two people can have playing video games right?" Jenna teased as Drew smirked.

"I know right…Adam has been so busy with his radio show….."

"Well then…..introduce Katie to it…." Jenna stated knowing what he would say.

"This really isn't her style. She's not the girl who is impulsive and quirky…even before Maya's death." Drew continued to eat admiring Jenna's nature. She was a good listener. Who had great insight.

"Everyone is different. My motto is you only live once." Jenna cheesed as she hooked up her ipod to the speaker playing it. Dancing to it.

Drew watched her body move. He couldn't remember the last time he had fun with another girl like this.

"Come on." Jenna snickered pulling him to her. "Nothing wrong with friends dancing right?" She grinned as he nodded.

He wasn't really a dancer, but Jenna knew this. She knew when to be aggressive and when not to be. And here was her time.

…

Listening to the old jazz, Katie sat in the passenger as her father drove her to school. Listening to his whistle along with the song, she smiled. She liked seeing this side of him. a side where he wasn't forlorn. A side where he was learning to deal.

Hearing her phone vibrate, she looked at the screen….Bianca…she found herself automatically smiling.

I bought some croissants for us…..

"Drew, I presume." Mr. Matlin kept driving as Katie didn't realize she was blushing.

"huh….o no dad….um…this girl at school….." she shrugged realizing that Bianca wasn't just some girl. She was a girl who was surprisingly driven and fearless who had so much hope and….

"O that's nice, you should be meeting new people and having new friends. I glad to see you finally spread your wings." He said missing the sound of Maya make frustrated sighs in the back of his car.

"Maya would want you to move on…..as you….you can't keep drowning yourself in Mom and your office work." Katie stated as Carl nodded.

"you're right." He pulled up to the school. Seeing a tan girl stand up on the steps with a bag in her hand. A girl who looked oddly familiar.

"Is that the girl." He watched his daughter unbuckle quiclkly.

"Yeah….Bianca….."

"She looks familiar to me." Katie looked at her father knowing he was one to never forget a face.

Katie saw the curly haired girl walk up to the vehicle slowly seeing Katie beg for her. Bianca didn't know why she came. Or why she was waiting for Katie like some lost puppy.

"Hi Bianca…" he said as she nodded.

"hi…" she said as he looked at the bag in her hand.

"That bakery has the best pastries in town." He stated.

"Yeah…my mom owns….." She began.

"Lena's your mother?" He asked as the girl nodded. "That's where I have seen you from…the bakery. How are you guys holding up well?" the athlete noticed the saddened smile on her new friend's face.

The girl could only nod as Katie kissed him on the cheek.

"Later Dad." She waved good-bye as he sped off. "I'm sorry about him…he can ask so many questions."

"No…at least it is from someone who understands…not someone who prys or pities." The two girls sat on the steps eating their pastries.

…..

To others he was Dallas, but to her, he was Mike. And though he knew she liked him, she kept enough distance between them. When was she going to realize that he wouldn't hurt her. And he slowly, he began to saw her break down her walls.

Over the past two weeks working together with his team, he made sure he was a gentleman. Touching her cheek gently, she would jump but she didn't push him back. That was a good thing. Walking her to her class, he hugged her as she hugged him back. But this time, she did not hesitate or flinch.

"See you at lunch." She smiled nodding.

Owen watched his captain walk her to her class. Dallas could have any girl at the school. And he just had to choose the girl who he had. They were teammates. Friends. And anygirl who he had was his. Only his

"So you do enjoy my sloppy seconds." Owen nudged him. "She's real good man." He tried to detur.

"Look….lay off of her…I actually like her." He said as Owne saw the emotion in his eyes.

"O my god…you do man….why…."

"Don't worry about it it's not your concern….but don't disrespect h3er." Owen rolled his eyes.

"let's just cut the bullshit….you have a problem because you had her first….you didn't mind when K.C. was with her."

"That's because I wasn't on a team with him. or wasn't his friend. How is it going to be when we…."

"It doesn't matter because she doesn't want you anymore." Dallas said. "But you won't talk about her or embarrass her like you have been doing." They entered their science class.

…

Marisol watched her new friend look at her best friend as Katie passed by their classroom. Glass walls were such a distraction. Observing their body language towards each other.

Bianca saw Mare's observing eyes of the two. Biting her lip, she felt self-conscious. It was weird over the weeks they had become close. But it was different kind of close with Katie. She noticed everything about the girl.

Her love for sports. Her love for her family. The way she missed Maya. The way her hair gleamed in the sunlight. She was like a mermaid. A gorgeous mermaid.

"Bianca….." Mare waved her hand over her head.

"Sorry…."Binx looked away as Katie looked in her direction.

"So what does that look mean?" the black girl inquired.

"Nothing….I guess I am just grateful. Her family contributes to my mom's business." Bianca tried to save herself.

"So do I and…Mike….I mean Dallas….so why don't you look at us like that." The cheerleader pretended to do work as the teacher walked by.

"It's just admiration…." Bianca tried to convince herself.

….

Katie saw how Bianca was looking at her when she passed. And she liked having her eyes on her. When did this happen? And why wasn't things working with Drew? She was putting forth energy and effort, but nothing was happening?

She found it odd, how she wanted to be with Bianca when she was with Drew. How it was getting hard kissing him every single time. But she couldn't leave him…not now. She didn't have the heart too.

Walking in the bathroom, she noticed the blonde was her hands.

"Hey Jenna." Katie said.

"Hey Katie…." Jenna said hiding her look of jealousy from her. "Its really glad to see you smiling again. Mare stays worried about you."

"I know." The red head agreed not knowing where the conversation was going.

"She is a good friend to me despite what others think…she's been so supportive. Her and Drew."

"You two are a cute couple…I know this isn't my business, but does Bianca ever get jealous of you two? I mean…I would? I'm sorry…..it isn't my place."

"It really isn't." Katie walked in the stall as the blonde smirked behind her back. The seed was planted.

Who was Jenna to critique her friendship with Binx? When did she start referencing to the girl as Binx. Drew told her so much about how unreliable and irresponsible she was in their relationship. Not fitting in with his family….but it was the exact opposite in her case. What if she was putting on a façade for her?

What if Bianca was planning to…..

Flushing the toilet, she laughed at her paranoia. Why was it Jenna's concern.

…..

Fitz walked in the Zen…another memorial….students who were no longer with him. seeing his smug smile in that picture made him want to curse his name even more. How he stole his best friend away from him. how he made himself out to be the bad guy….when K.C. himself was the one in the wrong.

Buying drugs from him, he should have told Bianca…..but it would break her heart. And though he was vicious to others, he cared for his ex-friend.


	8. Breathe part 2

Breathe

Part 2

Chapter 8

…..

The chill night air on her cheeks. The stars lighting the night sky as Tori lay below in the cemetery. Touching the light gray tombstone. Tracing her fingers on the engraving….

Maya Matlin, beloved friend, beloved daughter…

"this would be so much easier if you were here with me." She cried clutching the pills in her jacket pocket.

"My mom and dad don't say much….but I know they are disappointed in me. I haven't won a pageant in months." Tears fell as she closed her eyes. She pretended Maya was there with her….hugging her.

"It use to define who I was….it still does….I just cant anymore." She lay on the grass. "the pressure to win is breaking me down….even Tristan doesn't know what to say to cheer me up…..I just miss you so much Maya….."

Tristan saw the girl laying on the ground. Hearing her her tears in the night sky. He knew himself that she would not be the same for a while. But he was doing the best he could to help her. Talking to her parents….who hadn't given up on her…but didn't know what to do themselves. She wouldn't talk to any counselors they hired.

Standing behind her, she didn't notice his presence until she turned around.

"Tori you need to talk to someone." He bent down sitting beside her.

"Why….so people can tell me that its time to move on….its been about a year…. But it seems to get harder and harder." She rested her head on his shoulder.

"….no so we can help you because we love you….." He said. " I can tell Katie and Marisol…."

"Noo…." She jumped up. This was her battle. Her battle alone. She didn't want them to know. She didn't want anyone to know. To find out. She lost beauty pageants but she would not lose cheerleading. Marisol put so much faith in her.

"….it's just that Katie is going through so much now." She lowered her voice seeing Tris' startled face. "I didn't mean to upset you. I just…"

"It's just hard seeing my best friend like this. I am helpless Tor. I lost Maya too….and I miss her more than words can say…..but I can't lose another friend….I can't. And Zig won't…" He stood up tears forming.

"Don't bring up his name…."

"It's like you cant even see how you are hurting me by pushing me away…." He cried.

"Tris…."her voice saddened. "I…."

"I don't need your apology…..just know that you aren't the only one alone. Know that I am here with you." He stated as she nodded.

….

Jenna bit her lip as Drew pulled up in her driveway. The need for him only grew stronger. Seeing him with Katie in hallway made her jealous towards the perfect girl. Weeks had passed since her and Drew hung out outside of school.

She would have to be content with daily carpools. Opening the door for her, Drew smiled at the girl. Wishing Katie were she. Wishing he clicked with Katie like he had her. Katie was just a moment….

But he couldn't leave her now. Not when the girl was trying so hard. And he had to learn to stick with someone when struggles arose. What was wrong with him?

"Drew?" Jenna touched his shoulder as he awoke from his thoughts.

"Yeah…" He parked the car.

"What's wrong…."

"Nothing." He looked at the blonde beauty whose blue eyes carried so much heart in them.

"You're lying…I thought things were going…" She began knowing that her dreams were beginning to become true.

"I don't want to talk about that. I just gotta go." He got out the car as the blonde followed…not seeing Fitz watch the sight.

"Hey wait….I thought you knew you could trust me with anything." She gripped his wrist as he looked in her eyes. Was this the actual moment she was waiting for? Did Drew finally see her the way she saw him? Was this her wishful thinking. She hoped not.

Drew couldn't lie to himself. But deep down he knew why he kept running to Jenna. He was truly attracted to her. And he wanted it to go away….but it couldn't anymore….but he had to do the right thing for once….these feelings would soon fade.

"Jenna I can't hang out with you anymore. Me and Katie want to make it work….." Jenna heard his words but she wanted him to say what he truly meant.

"Drew me and you are friends. There is nothing wrong with that. Katie should be more than understanding of that." She reassured him knowing the meaning of her words.

"Jenna me and you are more than friends…..and you know it…..I can't." He stated.

"Just listen…right now you don't know what to feel. You are just so overwhelmed with trying to help Katie that you can't see clearly. You need another break….tonight is that concert…." She offered.

"I don't…."

"Who can resist Imagine Dragons?" She smiled as he nodded heading to his class. Her eyes watching him walk away.

"And you have the right to think you are better than me." Fitz snickered as she rolled her eyes. The stench of weed made her want to puke.

"Whatever Fitz." She attempted to way away from him as he followed.

"I guess that good girl routine can fool others like Drew and K.C. but others see through it." He saw Binx walking with Katie to the Zen Garden.

"Its really sad how you don't have friends you know." She said with sarcasm.

…..

Jenna saw the Filipino girl take another pill as she drank from her water bottle. The pageant princess had everything….beauty and her Captain's blessing. It wasn't fair how the gorgeous captain saw favor in a girl who was addicted to diet pills.

"So how many lies have you told today?" Jenna stood by the girl who ignored her words.

"How many people think you're taking antibiotics rather than…?" Jenna said out of spite.

"Shut up….it's none of your business." The sophomore said with spite.

"You don't actually think Marisol will believe that sprained ankle lie for long." She stated.

"What do you want?" Tori said not seeing Tristan behind the corner hearing the conversation. No Tori….why didn't he see this for himself.

"You will know soon enough." The blonde batted her eyes at Drew who smiled back.

Tristan couldn't believe his ears….or eyes….how much Tori was taking away from herself. How much Jenna was trying to take away from her.

But he always had the bad habit of trying to make situations better…but the outcome is much worse. How come Tori's parents didn't notice her change in behavior. Did they think her withdrawals were just mere depression like him? This wasn't fair to his best friend. And he needed someone to talk to….he truly needed Maya right now.

….

Bianca saw Fitz stare at her through the glass window. And as much as she wanted to be his friend. She knew she couldn't because he didn't want to change. And he never would forgive her for choosing K.C. over him.

But she knew he hated the way she placed her brother on an unbreakable pedestal. He was human and he did make mistakes….walking these halls she still heard his laugh….his dry humor that was horrible.

But she had greater things to worry about as her hands gripped her notebook….

"My social worker is coming to check on me…" She said Katie put her fruit cup down.

"It can't be so bad….she's just checking up on you..."

"More like critique me and my mom's lifestyle….she thinks my new ways are just an act….and that Lena is an unfit mother who bit off more than she could chew….she will find some reason to report." The curly haired girl breathed slowly.

"Wait Bianca…calm down." Katie instinctively grabbed her hand. Fitz walked passed the glass seeing them…seeing this. So she could be friends with her ex's current girlfriend but not with him. The way the two looked at each other….it was like they had been together since birth.

"You don't understand…"

"No…..who cares what she thinks. Her opinion doesn't matter .you don't have to prove yourself to anyone. If they can't see what a gracious girl you are…and the sacrifices Lena makes for you….then screw them." Katie said vehemently.

"I think I am beginning to rub off on you." Bianca laughed as Fitz walked in.

"What a lovely sight to see…..the cutter and the reverted good girl." The two let go of each other's hands.

"Shut up Fitz." Bianca stated as he sat in between the two.

"Maybe I want to be apart girl talk." He said obnoxiously. Placing his arm around both as Bianca apologized to the red head with her eyes.

"Don't you have something better to do?" Katie said with bite.

"Well your boyfriend Drew does." He retorted back as the athlete stood up.

"Katie he is just saying that to make you mad." Bianca stood up as the girls were leaving him behind.

Fitz watched the two. They just didn't know….he knew all the secrets in these halls and he would spill them all sooner or later.

…..

Marisol looked up from her laptop feeling a presence stand before her. Jenna. The girl who thought she deserved every reward without working for it.

"Yes…." Mare acknowledged her presence.

"Umm…..I wanted to show you some cheers I have created." The blonde stated as Marisol only nodded her head. It wasn't that the senior didn't see promise in the girl before her. But she saw cheerleading as her way up on the social ladder. Though she was one was popular….she realized in the real world….

Being popular wouldn't cut it….hard work and determination would. And that was what she saw in Tori.

"Can it be another time….you know I have been working on….."The black girl began to file papers.

"Marisol what do I have to do to prove to you that I am serious about power squad." Jenna placed her hands one the table.

"We have had this conversation a thousand of times."

"And you have not given me a clear answer. I show up on time. I am the first to volunteer for car washes and bake sales."

"Jenna….you just come off as….fake." Marisol looked at her. She didn't want be so blunt but the girl couldn't take a hint.

She couldn't believe the captain….of all people had the nerve to tell her this.

"Go tip a cow." Jenna walked passed Dallas furiously.

…..

Fitz caught the eye of his former friend as she headed towards her class. He on the other hand had another destination in mind. Everyone blamed him for the chaos of Degrassi. He was always thrown away. By K.C….then finally Bianca.

It wasn't fair.

Bianca followed the bully to the roof. He just had to make everyone miserable along with himself. She was tired of his mind games. Tired of feeling guilty for her of missing K.C. Tired of actually finding a true friend in Katie.

"Well if it isn't….."

"Don't start with me Fitz.I'm am so sick of you trying to hold this over my head." She said as he turned around facing her.

"Well I'm sick of you forgetting where you came from? Remember how many times I could have thrown you underneath the bus…..remember how I could have ratted you out for stealing charity money Freshman year."

"…..and that's something I am grateful for…..but I have grown up….."

"cut the bullshit Binx…..I knew you when."

"Excuse me for wanting something better for myself….for not wanting to sell drugs…for not wanting…"She walked up to him. Staring him in the eye.

"Shut-up…..I am so sick of your crusade like you are the only one that lost someone. I have too Binx…" He emotions unleashed.

"The only reason you have lost is because of yourself…..just like I chose to do right….you can too….." looking him dead in his eyes, his stern face didn't falter.

"this isn't you…..hanging out with Katie Freakin Matlin…..this is a joke….being friends with Marisol…..this isn't for us…" The bad boy tried to reason.

"you don't know what for me…but K.C….." He's blood began to boil. Why did she choose to not see this. You cant have selective memories. The times he gloated to everyone about his achievements but only left him in the dark.

"Shut up glorifying the guy who literally bought half of my….."

_SLAP_

Her breathing staggered as she saw the red hand print on his face. Watching him touch his face, her hands formed fists.

"That is the last lie you will ever tell…you're dead to me." Leaving him behind, she slammed the door behind her.

…..

"What's Miss Sunshine's problem now." He sat on her desk as Mare pretended to not be affected by his nature.

"She just wants power." She shrugged as he walked by her. Leaning against the wall staring at her beauty as she filed papers.

"and it's not like you cant understand her point of view." Mike stated.

"I just want Power Squad to succeed. People like Jenna will quit at the drop of a hat if they lose competitions and if things don't go their way. Yes she has done a lot for me since I have been with student council…but it's an act." Mike only nodded.

"I know what you are saying….how can I talk about anyone…but at least I don't hide my true intentions. I am blatantly honest…I…" She began to babble.

"Mare…you don't have to explain anything to me." He touched her shoulders….finding courage in himself to remove the folder from her hand. She found herself shaking a little bit.

"Why do I still scare you so much?" He felt her tremble under his touch. Placing both hands on her face.

"you don't." Her voice trembled starting in his eyes.

"So you wouldn't mind if I kissed you." He moved her against the wall slowly.

She felt his lips already on hers. She wanted this more than she admitted. Could this really be a stable relationship for her?

"Dallas…." She felt his breath on her lips as her hand laid on his chest.

"Just let me show you I'm not what you think I am." He closed the gap between them. Feeling her hands wrap around his neck…he gently glided his tongue inside her warm mouth.

"No…"She pushed him away. His eyes saddened.

"You know what….I can't keep doing this. I can't keep putting myself out there…and having you hurt me like this." He said.

"Dallas….you just don't understand…."

"But I am trying to….and every time…you push me away….I know you like me…..I know you do….why cant you just be straight forward with me." He pleaded.

"It doesn't matter." He backed away from her. "Wish granted." He bumped passed her slamming the door.

….

Katie saw Jenna sit with Drew at the lunch table. His arm around her shoulder. Her instincts started to kick in…..but she didn't want to add any more doubt to her mind or his. The way the blonde looked…she did need comfort.

And he did take her to school everyday. Why did this freak her out?

"What's the matter?" Katie sat beside the blonde as Drew looked at her.

"Ask your friend." She grabbed her bag as the two watched her leave.

"Umm….what was that about?" The athlete asked the other.

"you don't want to know…." Drew said hiding the fact at how he wanted to approach Marisol for her insensitive remark.

"I wonder where were her other friends are." Katie chirped. "I mean…..since when did….."

"Katie I thought you trusted me…." Drew read her mind. Every single time. This was starting to get old.

"I do….I didn't mean it like that….can we just start over." She reached for his hand. A look of defeat in her eyes.

"so what are you going to do tonight?" He asked as she bit her lip.

"I'm going to help Bianca get ready." She saw his expression change.

Drew couldn't help but still be uneasy towards the girls friendship. He still didn't trust his ex as far as he could see her. But for some reason, Katie was clinging to her.

"Her social worker?" he asked remembering how Bianca would freak out every time.

"You…..?"

"…Nothing but major cramming." He stated. He kept telling himself he could keep himself in check. But he knew he didn't even have the answer for that one. But that didn't make him not want to go to the concert tonight. He did deserve a break…and he needed to spend it with someone fun.


	9. Try

I Try

Pink

Chapter 9

….

The tension in the car…there was none. There was nothing at all. Both were scared to say something that may trigger another argument. She ruined it this time. Of course he would be friends with Jenna. She was a cheerleader…and he was on the football team. Maya always use to chastise her for her condescending ways….

_Maya watched her perfect, studious sister set the dinner table. Folding her arms, she tapped her foot on the hardwood floor._

"_Don't start, I was helping you. That boy." The older one refused to look in her eyes._

"…_His name is Zig….he's my bandmate." The blonde stated._

"_The look in his eye tells me he wanted more than practice." She looked at the blonde as she placed napkins on the table._

"_And so what….he isn't even my type. You are so overprotective."_

"_and you are so naïve…..why would you want a guy who dumps a girl and tries to hit on her best friend." Katie placed the glass on the table as it made a loud noise._

"_There you go again….jumping to conclusions. Who says I liked him….he hadn't even…." Maya adjusted her glasses._

"_Not yet….." Katie cut her off._

"_Katie sometimes relationships end…its apart of life…people move on. But it's crazy how you already put him on your "crap list."_

"_One day…you are going to thank me Maya…."_

As Katie walked into her home, her mom smiled at her. The new normal. Her mother cleaning up the kitchen while watching her must see talk shows.

"Rough day at school?" Gwen read her expression as the red head nodded.

"No mom…I don't want to talk about it." Katie read the woman's mind.

"I was just…." Mrs. Matlin watched the teen tensely.

"I know…I know…and I understand…but you guys have got stop thinking that everything will set me off. I just need to breathe." Katie poured some orange juice as she saw an envelope on the counter. One with her name on no address on it.

"I found it in our mailbox today." Gwen shrugged waiting for the prissy tomboy to open it.

"O my…." She pulled out a guitar pick from the envelope.

"This is Maya's" She held it up.

"Who do you think sent it?" The woman asked.

"I don't know."

…

Lena checked one more time. Spotless. No marks. No stains. Everything was in place. And the aroma of candles filled the little home.

She hated these visits. The meticulous nature of the woman who claimed to help yet did not care about children. Any one who saw the three of them together. She had to remind herself it was two now…

And then she sat down on the kitchen stool. When she cleaned, she didn't think of losing K.C. he had such a subtle approach for handling the cranky woman who would arrive in two hours. Taking off her gloves, she walked to his room again.

Touching his picture, she sat down on the bed. Maybe one day, Binx could walk in here by herself. Maybe one day, these tears would disappear. The Matlins always gave her words of advice. But they two were still heartbroken. There was never a good day.

Bianca kept replaying Fitz's words in her head. It still didn't click to her. Did her brother really use drugs? If so, how did he hide it for so long? His personality never changed. She couldn't believe that. The two shared everything…

"_Come on K.C." she threw popcorn at him as they sat on the couch._

"_We have to study for the tournament." He smiled rolling his eyes at his sister. _

"_We got it in the bag..plus Con man is on our side." She placed a kernel in her mouth._

"_I wish Fitz could…"_

"_Don't even bring up his name….." The boy looked at her. His eyes glaring fury._

"_I know you still miss him….we were thick as thieves." She rolled her eyes at the pun she made._

"_That was the past…this is part of life….sometimes you have to leave others behind." He continued scribbling notes._

"_But he's lonely."_

"_because he chooses to be…..can we drop the conversation." Bianca watched his demeanor. What was that about?_

"_Didn't mean to upset you….." They continued studied._

Dreading her walk up the stairs, she heard her mother's cries again. Opening the door, she refused to walk inside. Seeing the beautiful older woman on the bed again…she had to turn her head.

"Mom…umm…you know how Ms. Mitchell is." She sat on her bed knowing she sounded harsh. But she couldn't afford to show weakness now. She wouldn't lose another person she loved more than life itself. She would keep her mother close to her no matter what.

…

Placing the chain through the small hole she created, she fastened the pick around her neck. Holding it in her hand, she felt Maya with her already.

"It wasn't from Tori or Tristan." Gwen hung up the phone after speaking to their parents.

"Then who is it…..it doesn't matter. I have to go and help Bianca…"

"That's nice you and Lena's daughter are hitting it off….im surprised you and Drew aren't doing something tonight."

"Mom can we change the subject." She grabbed her purse not wanting to fill her in about the crazy love triangle and her devious ways of the past.

"He's not what you thought was he….was he?"

"Mom…"

"Let me guess…he's flirtatious and thinks he is entitled." She saw her daughter turn around nodding.

"But he does have his good sides….he's protective of me, he listens to me…he doesn't…."

"Katie this is your life. You don't have to convince me or anyone else." She rolled to her daughter grabbing her arm.

"At first I was scared to look at these." She touched them gently. Healing them with her love. "But now I realize that you have gotten stronger. And I hope one day you can forgive yourself for Maya. She's found her peace….i just hope one day…you can find yours." Her mother looked up at her daughter.

"Mom…." Katie hugged her not letting her go. "How can you say that after everything I did to her…what I have done to others?

"Katie all you can do is forgive yourself….Maya is watching over us as we speak….and you honor her by living the way she would live." Gwen kissed her daughter on the cheek.

….

Drew watched her as they stood in line to give their tickets. When did a ponytail look good on any girl He was so entrapped by her he didn't notice when they made it to the ticket booth.

"Ready to spend two hours with a friend." She emphasized knowing she had this in her hands. He would soon be hers. But she would not rush it.

"Yeah….thanks for the breather. It…." She placed her finger on his lips.

"No more bringing up the elephant in the room. This is your night." Her eyes bored into his as his did the same. Their faces mirroring one another.

"I really do need this." He grabbed her hand squeezing it.

…

Lena smoothed down her dress. Her hands in her hair. Taking a deep breath, she heard the door ring. To her surprise the Matlin's daughter stood outside with a light smile.

"Hi Ms. Lena….is Bianca here. I am here to give her a quick make over." The athlete held a dress in a hand. She hoped it fit. They seemed to be the same size. She hoped the girl wouldn't get offended by the gesture

"O come on in hunnie." The woman hugged the child as she surprisingly hugged back. No wonder why Bianca and K.C. changed. The woman before her had a gift of bringing out the good in anyone.

"Binxie….Katie is here."Her voice echoed.

Bianca's heart quickened at the announcement. She looked a mess. She couldn't think straight. Not now. Slowly breathing. She heard the girl come up the stairs.

"Come on." Katie smiled at the olive girl who found it odd how she liked holding the girl's hand.

….

Mike looked in the auditorium and saw Drew….with Jenna. And it made him furious. He had a good girl that he didn't want. And another who wanted him. He didn't know how lucky he was to have someone like Katie.

And here he was with another girl just to get his mind off of Marisol. Her soft smile. Everything reminded him of her. He thought this would get his mind off of her.

Girls, girls, girls….that was what Mare was supposed to be to him. Another notch…then it evolved.

Why were the guys who had opportunity not deserving of it.

So caught up in his thoughts, he didn't feel Drew bump into him.

"Enjoying the concert by yourself." The tan boy said not seeing anyone with him.

"I….guess I am." He assumed knowing he couldn't blame the girl. There was no conversation…he didn't even remember her name.

"Come on….the captain of the hockey team should be able to get any girl of his pleasing….look what I got." He looked at Jenna who was waiting on him.

"You're unbelievable."

"wow…someone is jealous….mad because Marisol didn't work out."

"Shut-up." He said loudly with aggression. "You don't want Katie. Just like you didn't want Bianca when she came in the picture….and I can guarantee when you dump Katie for Jenna…you will get bored of her as well."

"Shut the hell up." Drew said seeing Jenna walk up to them both. Her face with concern seeing the two stare another down.

"You really have a prize." Dallas said with sarcasm as Jenna pulled the other away from him.

"What was that about?"

"Don't worry. Let's just enjoy tonight." He placed his arm around the girl's shoulder.

…

Lena heard the girls laugh. It brought joy to her heart. Binx hadn't genuinely smiled since K.C. death. And though she herself felt guilty for laughing at little moments without him…she knew he wanted this for both of them.

"Trying to figure out how you can say Pulp Fiction was terrible." Lena peaked into the bedroom seeing Katie straighten the other's hair.

"Let me guess. Black Swan is your type of movie." Bianca teased as Katie rolled her eyes.

"Sit still and stop moving. I don't want to burn your ears off." Katie looked at her friend's long tresses as Lena left to give the girls their privacy.

"It's so good to have a friend. I don't want to burden my mother. It seems like I am to everyone. I never had K.C.'s way with words…or my mom's loving eyes that welcomed anyone….that's how I got caught up with Fitz….my freshman year….."

"So you and K.C. grew up in the same orphanage." Katie asked the other nodded.

"Since birth….we were grateful to have each other. It seemed when our other friends were adopted, they forgot about us.…then I went through my identity crisis. I was upset that my real parents never came back for me….but no matter how crazy I had gotten. K.C. defended me. He did more for me than I ever did for him."

Katie nodded remembering Bianca from her freshman year. The way they tagged stole items from others. Amazing how people change in four years. Amazing how people come and go too.

"So that is why you are so unnerved about today. Your social worker tries to bring up your short comings." Katie asked as Bianca turned away from her closet.

"Yeah…." Bianca sat on the bed beside the girl. "I just worry so much for my mom though….I don't want to inconvenience her…I wish there was something…."

"Binx. Your mom loves you. You don't have to do anything." Katie held her hand as Bianca blushed.

…

At the moment, it was like Katie didn'd exist. And the more Drew wished of this…the more he realized that that was a fantasy. It was like Katie and Bianca all over again. He took everything from Bianca….her trust, her virginity…..

"Try the nachos with these peppers." Jenna found a bench as they sat down in the park. She placed one in his mouth.

"Can I return the favor?" He placed a chip in her mouth as she smiled.

"Why can't I have fun like this with all my friends?" the blonde chirped.

"I don't know some people just click…." He touched her face softly.

Tristan enjoyed nights like these. Not too cold. Not too hot. Just right. For once Tori was getting a good night sleep at his place. Finding the pills in her purse, he threw them down the drain.

He was her keeper. And he would do anything to protect her.

He just wanted to enjoy the scenery. But he didn't think it included seeing the wanna be captain and Katie's beau together.

"I thought…this was just friendship." His eyes bucked hearing their words. Thank goodness he lost weight so he could hide behind a tree.

"That's what I was telling myself." He scooted closer to her on the bench.

"But what about Katie… I can't do that to her." The hell she couldn't. The boy rolled his eyes at the girls charade behind the tree.

"just give me time and I will break it off to her." He stared into her eyes.

"Jenna I have grown to really like you. And Katie is….."Drew held her hand.

"Don't explain. I understand. But I can't wait forever." He smiled kissing her forehead as he walked to get some ice-cream.

"Well…well…well….." Tristian revealed himself as the blonde's face dropped. "Give yourself a hand. You got a hold to the dumbest jock for believing you of all people are actually sweet and understanding. You know I am telling Katie and Marisol right?"

"You tell them…and I will tell Mare how your little friend loves prescription drugs." His mouth shut at the revelation he already knew.

"You forget I control this game. I know what I want. I suggest you leave before it really gets ugly."

"What was that about?" Drew handed her the cone seeing the sophomore's angered expression.

"Don't worry about it."

….

Marisol slid herself down the wall. Holding herself. She wanted Dallas so badly. Not just his looks. But his words of wisdom. She kept hurting herself and him. She had to tell him.

She couldn't lose out because of fear.

She saw the care he had for her in his eyes. He didn't want to hurt her.

She had to make things right.

And even if he didn't want her back. She would try. She owed that to herself. And him because he was worth fighting for.

Grabbing her keys, she headed for his home.

…

Bianca looked at herself in the mirror. The coral dress making her skin glow. She was radiant.

Katie wished she was this beautiful without even trying. Biting her lip she stood beside the girl.

"You look beautiful." The athlete stated. "Pretty in pink." She touched her shoulders from behind.

"You're just saying that." Bianca turned her head looking in her eyes.

"No I'm not." Katie said silently still trying to figure out how Drew could leave this girl. She was ….amazing…..

"Bianca….Mrs. Mitchell is here." Lena yelled as the older woman observed their little home with her eyes.

"You want me to go." Katie grabbed her bag as the other shook her head uncontrollably.

"No….please stay." Bianca pleaded as Katie felt a smile on her face. It was nice to feel needed.


	10. Try part 2

I Try

Part 2

Chapter 10

…..

In the car, they held hands. And Jenna couldn't believe this was happening to her. She was expecting to wake up. But one obstacle was in her way. Katie.

The perfect athlete that always got her way.

But Drew gave her his word. But was that enough? Would he actually leave the girl who lost her sister and just got over cutting herself to feel again. And if he would leave. How long would it take?

Drew knew what was going on in her mind. The constant cycle of never staying in one place. What if his actions lead the red head to cut again? Gripping Jenna's hand tighter, he wanted to hit himself.

Why was he so impulsive? Why did he speak before he thought? He didn't think. And he didn't want to put Jenna on the battlefield with Katie…Bianca…and Marisol.

"Shit" he said aloud.

He regretted it…..he regretted her. She saw it in his eyes.

"I knew this was too good to be true." She said sadly as he pulled on the side of the road.

He wanted to give her ease not add to the pain.

"No…I don't regret the decision of you….its how Katie will act….she will either be furious or depressed."

"Give her some credit babe." Jenna stated. "She's stronger than you think." Doing all her might to keep her sweet image. Biting her tongue to keep from saying "the hell with Katie."

"I will do it when the time is right." He pleaded with her as she accepted with a nod.

As he dropped her off, she noticed they did not kiss. Only one on her forehead. She was going to get him regardless….by any means necessary. She didn't wait this long to lose to a unstable cutter.

…..

Marisol walked up the steps to his apartment. She hoped she didn't seem like a stalker…folding her arms from the chill in the air. Knocking on the door, she heard steps come closer to the door.

Mike looked at his clock. Just nine o'clock. Never had he been heartbroken that he didn't have a girl here around this time. Never had he left a concert early before. That damn girl; that damn Marisol. So many times he had to remind himself that this was his doing. She always pushed back.

But he swore he saw her learning to trust him. He felt her lips on his still. She had melted in his arms. If it would have been anywhere else….he had to stop himself. It was pointless fantasying about making love to girl who can't love you.

Hearing the knock, he unfortunately didn't look through the peephole. Seeing her stand there. Her eyes. Hazel eyes. Both were staring at one another…wanting to reach out to one another.

Seeing her shiver, his instincts told him to let her inside….but he couldn't.

"Go away." He said firmly as her eyes dropped.

"Dallas…." He turned around as she followed him inside.

"No….you made it very clear….I get it…." He stated. She had to make him listen. She just had too.

"Will you just hear me..." He stopped in his tracks. His back turned to her.

"I don't owe you anything. After what you have done to me….I have tried to make you see. I have put myself out there so many times…so many…." He turned to look at her. Her face so beautiful. Her eyes so sad.

"I'm scared ok." She finally revealed.

"You are right….I am scared of you." He tried to hide his heartache.

"Well its too late for that….I'm over it…and you." He tried to walk to door as she stopped him.

"Mike don't." she touched his chest looking at him.

"Stop." He tried push her back, but he didn't want to.

"Dallas…I know I hurt you…I hurt everyone…I was trying to do you a favor….but it just hurts me too." Touching his face as their foreheads met.

"I don't know how this started…my feelings for you…but I don't want it to stop….please don't let it." He pleaded as she only nodded.

Touching her chin, he kissed her again. This time, his hands moved around her waist. Getting used to one another.

"Am I still scaring you?" he asked breaking away.

"Yes…but in a good way." She smiled.

….

Lena tried to control herself from snapping at the woman who was inspecting her home. Looking at Bianca, she mouthed for her daughter to control herself.

Watching the woman check with eyes the floors and walls, the mother guided her to the kitchen. Sitting at the table, Katie sat on the couch…catching Bianca's eyes giving her comfort from across the room.

"Lena I am surprised you have been keeping your business up." The woman began as she took her seat.

What was that supposed to mean?

Lena just plastered a smile on her face at the woman's bitter comment.

"Well you know what they say….idle hand's are the devil's work." the woman said with bite as the Ms. Mitchell adjusted her glasses.

"Since K.C.'s death, have you guys been doing the techniques I have showed you." She looked at them as the two nodded. Biting her lip, she tried to show some compassion.

"I know you all miss K.C….he was definitely going places….he came out better than expected." The woman saw Lena's expression as Katie's mouth dropped.

She wanted to hold Bianca back seeing the badass redden.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Lena said standing from her seat..

"I didn't mean to insult….i was just saying that you are raising your children." Mrs. Mitchell tried to calm her down.

"Then say that…." Bianca defended. "Could you give us a little slack,….we just lost him months ago…everyday I wake up I expect to see him again." She revealed.

"You haven't reverted back to your old ways? Fighting…using aggression….stealing" The woman looked at her dress.

"No….."Bianca tried to make sense of the woman's question. She understood Mitchell had to do her job but she was over doing it.

"Are you sure?" The woman asked not paying attention to Katie walk to the room. The girl's fist bald. She was ready to fight for this family.

"She got it from me." Katie defended standing beside her friend.

"And you are?" the social worker inquired.

"Why are you acting like this towards them…they have been through enough." The athlete refused to answer her question.

"Katie." Bianca touched the girl's shoulder as Lena watched the two together. The way they looked at each other….maybe it was just her.

"No she has no right to talk to you and Lena like that." The athlete said.

"I didn't mean to offend your girlfriend?" Ms. Mitchell stated as she closed her folder. "But next time…let's not bring our significant others." She chastised.

"Girlfriend?" Katie asked aloud looking at the woman like she was crazy. Ms. Mitchell only observed the girl's face as she shook her head.

Lena watched the scene…but something told her Katie was taking care of it good enough.

"Why…because someone other than K.C. truly cares for her. That makes me a friend….Binx is always overlooked and discarded by others. Would you try giving her a chance? Try believing in her….like I do." She finally said aloud as Bianca looked in awe.

Her friend was standing up for her….no one had ever done this before….besides K.C.

"Bianca…and Lena…." Ms. Mitchell closed her folder angrily.

"Ms. Lena to you." The mother corrected the older one.

"See you next time."

"In hell." Lena whispered as she slammed the door behind the woman.

Watching the woman back up from the driveway, Binx wondered what K.C. would have done? Maybe he was with them since the woman wasn't as harsh as usual.

The red head watched the two breathe again, but she began to feel lightheaded. The woman's words. Was there…..no. She was just crazy.

"Let me get you some tea." Lena smiled at the two relieved.

"I'm sorry about that….Mitchell is definitely." Binx apologized

"You don't have to explain…." Katie tucked a piece of hair behind the other's ear.

"…as if anyone could ever…" the two sat down on the couch.

"Binx shut-up." Katie stated.

Lena overheard the conversation between the tow. She knew of her daughter's insecurities and she tried her best to rid them.

"You deserve as much love as the next person…I still wonder why Drew left you…for me." She stated aloud oblivious to the fact that the older woman was listening to every word.

So this was the girl…but they click so well…on so many levels…

"because…..I'm not worthy of it."

"Anyone would be worthy of you…..and I would be honored to be your girlfriend." She said aloud seeing the badass's face change.

"Sorry…not like that….I just meant…I was trying to make you ….."

"I know…." Bianca laughed as they hugged. Lena handed them their tea and pastry as she headed upstairs. She needed to rest.

"After I gave Drew my virginity, I thought I could never trust people again…..it just seemed like I was waiting for someone to truly understand me…..and them you came along…you and Mare…and it just seems like."

"I know…." Katie smiled brightly as they ate together.

"Let me walk you to your car." The girl volunteered.

….

Tori woke up placing her hand on her head. The constant drilling that made her dizzy. Sitting up, she placed her feet on Tris' carpet. She always liked the feel of his home better than her own. Biting her lip, she felt it again.

The numbness, her fingers began to twitch. It was time. The tears falling down her face. She tried to stop….she tried to tell…but her body wouldn't allow it. Finding her purse on his nightstand…..she didn't find them.

But she knew she placed them there. Where were they? She had to have them. She had to find them.

"I took them away." Tris turned on the light as she stopped in her tracks. Her face paled.

"How did you?"

"I overheard you and Jenna the other day. Tori…I am going to help you….we are going to tell your parents." He sat by her on the bed.

"No….I told you I am fine." The girl's eyes darkened.

"No you're not…everyday you are slipping away from me…I will not allow it. You won't give anyone else a chance. Your mom and I don't know what….."

"All I am is a windup doll to them. I have to perform….I have to win." Standing up, putting her hands in her hair she looked defeated.

"That's not true….they love you….and they feel helpless." The boy tried to reason.

"Then welcome to my world. I feel helpless too….."

"You aren't the only person who lost someone here. I did too…and it is time for you to face it and stop using this as an excuse. I know you miss Maya…I know it hurts…but she would want you to help yourself." He released his anger on her as he saw her startled expression.

"The pills are the only way I know how." She stated. "they help me forget…help me…."

"You don't need to forget….you need to remember…and cope." Tris held her hand.

"But if I cope…I am scared I will…."

"Maya can't be forgotten….you need to talk to Katie." Tris stated as the girl agreed.

"I've been feeding my habit for so long though….I can't do this by myself….."

"You wont…I am here." The two hugged.

…..

Jenna gently raised her window. The moonlight would have to do. Right now, her priority was on Drew. Getting him fully. Consequences from her grandmother didn't matter. Putting her hoodie on, she headed down the tree.

…..

"That Katie is definitely a nice girl." Lena smiled as the two washed dishes.

"Yeah…me and her…she's like my best friend." She shrugged.

"Well what about you and Marisol…" she hinted seeing what her daughter did not.

"We are friends too…but I feel so comfortable around Katie. I don't know why. I shouldn't…I mean…her and Drew took everything away from me."

"You just got caught up in a boy liking you and not being afraid of you."

"You're right." Bianca agreed. "You should go back to bed." Looking out for the woman who disagreed.

"Sometimes, the universe takes things away from us for a reason. Some things are meant to be only a moment." The woman smiled.

"Yeah…." Thinking about how Katie protected her. She felt her cheeks redden. Lena noticed without a doubt but pretended otherwise.

"We can all get together and have a family dinner." She offered.

"Maybe later on down the road." She dried her hands kissing her mother.

Laying in her bed, her thoughts kept going back to the athletic princess who was truly scared on nothing.

But she was scared. Scared that she was truly feeling, what she thought she was feeling at this moment.

Something was wrong with her…because when did Katie make her feel like this.

…

Drew thought his eyes deceived him, seeing the blonde stand at his glass door. Sliding it open, their eyes locked.

"Jenna" He only said as she jumped in his arms. Kissing him. Sliding her tongue in his mouth. They were both lost in each other's taste. She didn't want this to end…and the way he was kissing her. He didn't either.

Laying her down on the couch, he was grateful his parents weren't there. And the look in Jenna's eyes told him, that only he could give her what she wanted.

Watching her step into her house, he wanted to run behind her. Showing up this…so unexpectedly…made it clear…

"Do you know how you made me dreams come true." He kissed her hands touched his back gently.

"Then make mine come true." She whispered as he kissed her neck.

"Drew…I need you…and this…now…." She let him take off her shirt.

"Me too." He unzipped her pants.

…

Marisol laid on his chest as he rubbed her back. The two watching tv. Laughing at the silly reality shows.

Dallas had held her closer. If that were possible. The two in his living room…on the couch. Kissing her forehead…but she didn't push him back. He finally gave into her and she was still there.

Not only that, he was with a gorgeous girl…and he didn't just feel a physical attraction to her. It was deeper.

Mare traced patterns on his chest. Wondering what his body looked like without the muscle shirt. His arms holding her. But that would come when they grew together.

"I'm glad you took me back." She looked in his eyes as he could only nod. His instincts were telling him to show her the only way he knew how….but he had to calm himself. This instant.

There was more to a relationship than just sex. They both had to see this for themselves.

"Me too." He sat up bringing her with him. "I want to kiss you again." She only nodded as their lips met.

…

Katie sat outside his driveway. Being impulsive. Being unpredictable. Surprising him. Gripping the steering wheel, she took a deep breath. This would have to put things right.

Since she left Binx's house, she could only think about the girl who loved with all her heart. The girl who was so strong, yet so vulnerable.

And she…she just had to do this.

Mustering the courage, she tried to slow her heart. It was like her body was trying to signal her. Something was wrong…..

No….

It was just her being cynical….

Biting her lip, she thought her ears were deceiving her. Moans seemed to fill the air as she got closer to the glass door.

No…

No….

Were her eyes deceiving her… two bodies moving together on the couch. The way he kissed her touched her. It wasn't her.

It should be her, but it wasn't…it was….

"Ohhh Jenna" Katie cried hearing Drew's deep voice through the screen door.

"yes….yes…." Jenna's scream filled the air.

And she stood there. Frozen. They didn't see her. But she saw them.

Drew moving faster in Jenna.

Jenna scratching his back….

And all she could do…..was breathe as her world came crashing down.

Holding herself as the night air punched her cheeks. Seeing the many rocks…

That she should have thrown threw the window….but did not

She was use to feeling but this constant pain.

She was numb to her core….

And all she could do….

Was drive away…


	11. You Oughta Know

You Oughta Know

Alanis Morisette

Chapter 11

….

Katie walked through the halls of the Degrassi, seeing Bianca and Mare chatting at the lockers. And she walked passed them. As if she didn't recognize them. The hurt and anger in her eyes.

Both beauties looked at each other, wondering what caused this change in their friend.

The prissy tomboy knew they worried about her. But she didn't want to talk about it. She didn't want to hear the "I told you so" from Marisol. And looking at Bianca reminded herself of what Drew with her while with her new found best friend. The vicious cycle. She was sure her eyes had large bags around them…from lack of sleep.

Seeing Drew's name on her phone screen only made her…..she just wanted to disappear. Where was Maya when she needed her. The blonde who would have taken the mater in her own hands.

"It's been four days and she hasn't said a word." Marisol said as she closed her locker.

"We've tried texting…..why is she shutting us out?" Bianca asked seeing Drew pass her…not acknowledging her presence.

"I just can't stand him." The gorgeous cheerleader stated watching the smug boy pass them. "He actually thinks Katie is just handling the pressure of tests. She hasn't acted like this since she began…."

"Don't say that…we don't if she is cutting again." Binx stated.

"You're right." Mare shrugged as Mike approached her. Kissing her cheek.

Bianca watched the two…wishing she had that with Katie….wait no…someone who had the qualities of Katie….athletic, a good listener, beautiful….

Shaking her head, she removed the thought from her mind. She hoped she would be lucky to have someone who loved her as others did K.C.

"_Bianca, you got to put yourself out there." The sandy blonde persuaded his sister. Placing a pill in his mouth, he swallowed the water._

"_Another headache?" The rebel asked as he nodded._

"_Umm…yeah….I've just been stressing." He said catching the eyes of Marisol as she walked passed him._

"_Please tell me you are not interested in her." Bianca watched the girl. She couldn't deny that the girl was stunning._

"_no way…." He rolled his eyes as he kept staring the black girl. "But would it be bad for you to socialize with others?" He asked._

"_I'm too violent…too aggressive remember." She found herself smiling seeing Drew's eyes on her._

"_Please tell me you don't want Drew. He's an asshole." K.C. rolled his eyes._

"_What's wrong with him? He has good conversation….." She began._

"_When the conversation is about him." He ended._

"_He talks to me….." she stated._

"_Only when he wants answers in science class." The boy laughed._

"_Must you be so cynical? It's like you don't think anyone could ever like me."_

"_Its called looking out for you…and I want you to with someone better than Drew." He stated._

Why did that memory just pop into her head?

"Binx…you alright?" Mike asked as the girl nodded. "I'm just going to go take a breather."

…

Drew eyed Jenna as he walked passed her. The glow in her eyes. Every night, he tasted her on his tongue. And it only got better and better. Being inside her body…

But then there was Katie. At her locker, avoiding him. Once again…there was always something…everything made this girl withdraw…and he was slowly withdrawing too. But he did care for her….and he knew he should feel guiltier than he did.

Katie felt him come closer…and she wanted to run. She could face everything head on. Even Maya's death. Yet this boy made her want to run…because she invested so much in him….just like Bianca. No wonder they got along so well.

"Can you please talk to me now?" Drew asked as the girl kept stuffing her book bag….growing angrier at how he pretended to just be hers. Like he wasn't with Jenna of all people.

"I get it….midterms are coming up but that doesn't mean." He continued noticing the way she was avoiding his eyes. Her face getting redder. Could she know? No…she couldn't. He was too discrete.

The way the two kept their distance from one another was all she could think about.

"Have you been studying Drew?" She gave him a stern face.

"You know me…I am a slacker." He attempted to give her his charismatic smirk. "There is always someone to help me get answers." He held himself together hoping this conversation wasn't going in the wrong direction.

"Help from Jenna." Her eyes blazed into his.

"O my God…you have got to stop this jealousy." He kept his cool.

"O I'm jealous. I'm not the one sleeping with the blonde bimbo the other night."

"Katie you are the only one." He touched her shoulders.

"Stop lying to me….I saw you…and her." She screamed bringing attention to her. "Together."

"Kaite…I…." His eyes widened.

"You're shit. You continued to keep this lie…to keep betraying me….how could you look me in the eye like that….how could you look Jenna in the eye and not think about me." She stated as the student body looked in shocked.

All she saw were different faces staring at the scene. She was a public display. And she didn't care. Releasing her frustration, she slammed her locker.

…

Bianca sat on the roof. Thinking about how the signs of K.C. were in her face. And she should have seen it…but it was to late now. She let him down as a sister…and for once….Fitz told her the truth…but she hurt him even more. Tears left her eyes as she heard the door open…seeing Tris turn around.

"No….I will leave." She stood up.

"I didn't mean to disturb you." He shrugged standing beside her. Looking at the sky with her.

"I just feel as if I let someone down…and I can't make it up to them." He shrugged as the girl knew of his reference to Tori. She always noticed her distressed state. It was always hard not knowing the right thing to say during tragedy…and the secrets that come out after.

"She doesn't know how to talk to her parents and right now she lives with me." He shrugged.

"Just be there for her….the fact that she is opening up to you means she wants help."

"But addiction is never easy to beat." He bit his lip. "I'm not strong enough for this….and her ex doesn't seem to care….and she ignores her parents calls."

"All I can say is don't leave her side. And another day is another chance." Wishing she had the chance to save K.C. from his addiction.

And least he found out in time.

"I see why Katie hangs out with you. You know the right thing to say." He smiled at the beautiful girl before him.

"I don't know all about that." She shrugged as the boy noticed how she became nervous. Was he detecting….no….not everyone was gay….and no one deserved to be labeled…he should know.

"But it's true. The way she looks at you. The way she hugs you." Tris smiled again.

"Just friendship…." The two smiled. Bianca wasn't bad after all.

…

Marisol watched her girls' routine. Putting her hair in a ponytail, she graded on precision and accuracy. Jenna of course was messing up on purpose. But she ignored it for now. The blonde was not on her "hit list."

Drinking water, she advised Tori to take over. She liked seeing how they respected her guidance…except for Jenna who was jealous at the moment.

Almost choking, she saw Katie come into the gym. Her face enraged.

"Katie…." Mare asked in question and irritation as her sister looked at her squad. It was almost a week since they hadn't talked and she just barged into practice out of no where.

"I just need to say something right quick." She couldn't hold back her anger. One person was on her mind. The blonde slut who had no regard or class.

Jenna noticed as the girl got closer and closer to her. Her hands in fists. Her mouth scrunched.

Oh shit.

"You slut!" she yelled at the girl as Mare thanked God the advisor was not there.

"What are you…." Jenna tried to lie. Smiling at the girl's pain…mentally.

"Don't lie….I know about you two. But don't worry…he will drop you quick." The squad just looked as Tori cheered that Katie found out. Finally someone would shut her down.

"I don't think so." Jenna said arrogantly. "I know how to keep a man rather than running up behind his ex." Mare's mouth dropped hearing the revelation. Getting ready to jump in ….but Katie held her back.

This was her situation to handle.

"You can have him…and just a hint….if he cheats with you….he will cheat on you."

"I'm not like you and Bianca…." Tori watched the display as she began to shake. Her nerves began to frazzle. And she felt her hands shake.

"That does it Jenna." Mare jumped in.

"What are you going to do? Suspend me from the team…..why don't you put your pill popping sophomore in charge." Jenna stated as Tori screeched. The whole team looking at her as Jenna smiled.

"That's right. I spent my time helping you…and you give it to a doped-up pageant losing…."

"This is not about her." Mare yelled.

"This is about you…and your deception…towards everyone around you." Mare said as Katie looked at the Philopino girl shake. Her need had to fed. Except her addiction was with drugs,…not cutting. And she was letting Maya down by not taking care of her best friend.

"It's ok Tori." Katie put her arm around her.

"Doesn't matter…I got what I wanted." The blonde left the gym.

"Practice is over." Mare placed her hand over her head, signaling Tori to stay.

…..

Connor saw Bianca sit in the garden by herself. He was always socially awkward and he never knew what to say….but sometimes…it was best to not say anything. It was best to just sit there and comfort a friend.

Like what he did now.

Seeing Bianca rest her head on his shoulder. He held her hand. Something made her cry. Probably Fitz once again. But nevertheless, he would be there for his sister. Though K.C. did have flaws, one thing was for sure…..

He loved his sister.

….

Tori sat down in the student council office…biting her lip as Mare observed her. Sitting beside her. Not knowing what to say.

"Please Mare….I am so sorry I let you down…."

"Tori this isn't about me…this is about you…and you fighting this."

"I haven't taken any for a week…..I just…." The sophomore pleaded.

"You just need to talk to someone….I hate myself for not noticing the change in your behavior. I thought the shaking was just nervousness. I should have seen…." The captain kept beating herself up.

"No….I didn't want you to take this away from me…its all I have…."

"Tori you have more than you think." Mare stated. "It's just that you are so hurt you cant see it."

"You sound like Tris."

"Because we are all concerned for you. I could have protected you from Jenna…gotten the counselor to help…you can't do this on your own." The younger girl rested her head on the captain's shoulder.

…

Drew avoided Jenna as he sat in locker room. Resting his hand on his head, his world crashed.

He was public enemy number one…and he couldn't get rid of the stench.

The three girls in his past life were all different. And he was attracted to them for all different reasons. Amazing how now that he had freedom to be with Jenna…it wasn't as entertaining anymore…

And once again…he turned another's girl life upside down.

Katie was a good girl…going places…and he destroyed her…day by day…

This was misery.

….

"Are you sure this will work?" Bianca asked.

"We need to be straight foreword with her." Marisol clutched her purse, looking through the glass door. She hoped this would work. Her friend couldn't go on shutting them out. She refuse to let this happen.

Bianca and Mare sat on the steps seeing Katie walk towards them.

Wanting to go the other way, but the athlete did her best to avoid them.

_Just pretend you don't see them._

"Katie….you can't ignore us for longer." The gorgeous black girl stated.

"You have to talk about this." The fighter reinforced.

"There is nothing to talk about….I saw my boyfriend fucking another girl." She looked at them in the parking lot. Feeling weak. Trying to hide her tears through anger.

"Then you come to us and talk to us…we're friends…we are not here to judge you…." Mare stated.

"But I judge myself. I should have known this would happen to me…he did it to you." Katie said as Bianca nodded.

"I bet you are so happy…..that I know what it feels like to be thrown away…..to be hated by the people who should care for me the most….first my sister…now my boyfriend."

"Katie." Marisol said as Bianca let her unleash her pain.

"Katie…why are you trying to hurt me so much?" Bianca approached her as the red head's heart beat fast.

"Because I deserve this….I deserve to be betrayed….by him and by you." The athlete cried.

"No….." The rebel touched the girl's cheek. Mare just watched the scene before her. The way Bianca was able to calm her.

"I would never betray you Katie. I have only known you for months now…and you are the only one who knows my deep secrets….I would protect you…no matter what."

"Bianca I am not strong like you. I can't do this by myself." Bianca held her as Katie held her hand out for Mare to catch.

"You wont be by yourself…you have us." Mare seeing the deep connection between the girls. Smiling to herself at this.


	12. You Oughta Know part 2

You Oughta Know

Part 2

Chapter 12

….

Drew was going to pay. No one hurt her friend and got away with now. Now she was here in her bathroom. Gathering all the sharp objects.

All the strides Katie struggled through to become sane, could be taken away at this moment. By an arrogant jock who never knew what he wanted?

It wasn't because Katie wasn't stronger…she just didn't want her relapse again. She was being overprotective.

Calming herself, she wondered how Tori was? And if Tristan went through the same chaos she went through to take of a friend.

….

Bianca looked at Maya's shrine. Her legacy. The immaculate prizes the gifted girl won.

And she wondered if she herself died, would people remember her? What would they say? She couldn't lie, the minute K.C. had died, she wanted to die too….a part of her still felt dead….but more and more….it seemed like this friendship was helping her.

"I wonder what Maya would have done if she were here?" Katie looked at the picture frame. Bianca must have though she was crazy for being in this room after today's events.

"I was so horrible to her, she probably would say I deserved it." The curly haired girl listened beside her.

"I don't think so." Bianca stated. "Because she loved you….and she would always be on your side."

"I just feel like I can't react like this….especially with you….the way we hurt you. I should have known he would do this me…you should curse me….hit me…do something…." Katie stated looking at her as the rebel shook her head.

"Katie I let that relationship go…I had to…besides after losing K.C. a relationship was in no comparison to that torture. It's funny how you notice the red flags when it's over." The girl took the picture from the other's hand.

Maya was very beautiful.

"I should have known Jenna was devious like that….after her and K.C." Katie didn't mean for that to come out. This wasn't the place to talk about her late brother in that manner. Seeing the her new friend take a deep breath.

"No…it's ok….my brother definitely wasn't as perfect as I thought." She read the trophies. "But that doesn't make him less of a brother."

"I know…but you have always had so much on your shoulders…that i…"

"Katie…you do too….let me take care of you now…it's my turn….to be a good friend."

"You know….being with you…and Mare made me realize that I want to have good memories where I can have fun and gossip.

"Then…do that." The two girls smiled as Mare walked back in the room.

….

Mike found himself smiling as he headed towards his car. He didn't think one girl could satisfy him…but it was true. Smiling at the picture she sent him. Opening his door, he looked up seeing Fitz mess with Tori and her eccentric friend.

It wasn't enough that he messed with Mare…now the bully was picking on who he perceived as "weak."

Tori hated how the boy was teasing her. She thought with Tristan beside her, she would be strong enough to resist….but even his presence wasn't enough. And the bully still found her.

"Tore…you know you want some." He held the pills out of her. Smiling at the amazement in her eyes. And there was nothing anyone could do about it.

"Leave her alone." Tris grabbed her arm as Tori got out of his grip. She couldn't depend on him to fight her battles.

"Just leave me alone Fitz." She tried to stand strong. Maybe Maya was at her side at this moment because the blonde could easily stand up for herself.

"You know you are going to break soon." He approached her seeing her eyes startle…not seeing the hockey captain approach.

"I think you need a better hobby." Mike's deep voice interrupted the conversation as Fitz didn't back down. Looking at the cocky athlete as his eyes flared in jealousy.

"This doesn't concern you…." Fitz looked at the Filopino girl…who couldn't walk away.

He saw the fear in the girl's eyes. And it reminded him Of Marisol's eyes. He had a reputation of being obnoxious but he would never force a girl to please him in any way.

"Doesn't matter I am not going to let you prey…." The black boy moved closer.

"Why because of your girlfriend….." The bully hit a nerve.

"Keep Marisol out of this…." He felt himself grow angrier.

"doesn't matter…..it wont be long until I….." Mike had his fist bald at the boy's smugness.

"Don't…." Tori pulled on his arm as the other boy laughed. She wasn't going to risk her captain's boyfriend getting suspended over this trash.

But perhaps, she was the trash. The trash who was too weak beyond words.

"He's not worth it…trust me." Tristan flipped the bully off as they walked away.

….

Gwen sat in the doctor's office, grateful Lena could drive her. Usually, the Matlins were private about their affairs, but this woman was actually a kind soul. A soul who was not vindictive and wanted to help others.

"I didn't mean to take you away from your business; I could have called someone else." The blonde looked up from her magazine….waiting for her name to be called.

"I needed a break…lets just say some of my employees were saved by you." The brunette laughed as the woman looked weary.

"You know…I would have never thought I would be burying my child. I thought it would be the other way around." Both nodded.

"I know…..I hear K.C.'s laugh so much. At night I look through his photo album. I know he and Bianca aren't technically mine." She began sadly.

"Yes they are….you love them…and they love you." The blonde reassured.

"So many people warned me…telling me they were lost causes…but the moment I saw them…they were mine…I knew they needed someone like I did." The two smiled sadly.

"But I can at least sleep at night now…."

"It will get better…you will learn to live with pain."

…

As they sat in her room, Katie felt guiltier. The two girls trying to give her comfort. And both somehow seemed to have been through worse. Marisol had been discarded by two boys. Both who told her what she wanted to hear.

And Bianca…

The girl who lost her brother….and virginity to a guy who wasn't worthy….but still had the heart to be her friend.

As the rebel watched Mare hold her "sister", she hated herself because of her true feelings in the beginning that had seemed to fade. How she wanted Katie to suffer to no end. Now her wish was granted…and she hated seeing the tears fall.

But her heart knew that Drew would do her the same.

"I want to get him back." Katie stood up looking into their eyes.

"No…." Mare softly said seeing her best friend look at them defeated.

"Really Mare there was once a time where you were known as the revenge queen."

"But I have grown from that it won't make the pain go away."

"Why not?" She yelled at them.

"Every time I think about it. Maya telling me that I am robot. No one would want me because I have no emotions….but I do….I do." She dropped on the floor as Bianca sat beside her. Instinctively, the red head rested her head in her lap as Binx played in her hair.

"Katie you do care….you care too much. And that's what makes you the person we love so much. Because you fight for the ones you love. You face obstacles head on. Don't let Drew take that from you….I didn't,"

"But that's the point. You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't even be my friend. Everything I did to you."

"But I am here." The brunette said.

And Marisol watched the two as she sat on the bed. Noticing once again their deep connection. A connection that once made her jealous. But she recognized their eyes for one another. Though they could not themselves. And….she smiled.

She smiled because there was someone who was helping and healing her sister. Hearing her phone vibrate, she left the room.

"Hey babe." Glad she was hearing Mike's deep voice.

"Sup girl." His voice wavered as she sensed something happened.

"What happened?"

"Just let me know if Fitz gets in your face…." He warned as he dropped Tori and Tristan off.

"Okkk….but where is this coming from?"

"Don't worry about that baby." He said. "And check up on Tori."

"Sure…." She kissed him over the phone as she hung up. Turning around seeing Bianca behind her.

"Looks like you two are doing well."

"We are….I'm going to go….I think you got it from here."

"Wait but….I cant." The black girl heard the distress in her voice.

"Yes you can….Bianca you need to be here." Mare held her hand seeing the question on her new friend's face.

….

Tris looked at his phone…seeing the number. He hit "ignore." Why did all of sudden Zig want to come around. He made his decision when he left the school…Tori…and deleted his face book account.

Tori didn't need the ex- who didn't know what he wanted back in her life. He would at least save her from that.

Seeing her shake a little as she ate. Finally, she was eating. He was praying she wouldn't relapse…it was only days. Hopefully the shaking would stop. And the avoiding her parents would too.

Owen walked in the kitchen, seeing the trembling girl eating. How her light was slowly draining. And it was nothing new to him. Seeing his teammates on and off steroids, he knew the symptoms.

Seeing his brother answer his phone, he carefully watched the girl contemplate wheter or not to dump the plate in the trash.

"Owen I don't need you observing me…..I already have Tris for that." She ate the vegetables refusing to look in the athlete's eyes. She wished the days were here where they were at odds about Tris' sexuality. At least the muscular body didn't dip into their friendship.

"He really cares for you…that's all. He won't say this but every minute he fears he will lose you to. I don't want him to lose another friend. "he told her as she nodded.

"I know that…I don't take him for granted at all." She ate her meal seeing how his eyes still bore into hers.

"It's good you care for him so." Tori stated as he nodded.

…

Marisol stood at the door for what seemed like an hour. Biting her lip, she didn't know what to say. She never had the gift of words…and this called for it. Ringing the doorbell she hoped she would not seem insensitive towards the family that needed their daughter back.

"Mrs. Santamaria." She asked looking at the beautiful Filopino woman with dimples like Tori.

"What ever it is, we are not interested." The woman said abruptly ready to slam the door in the teen's face. The visible bags showed she hadn't slept in a while.

"no…I am Tori's captain….her…friend." The woman's eyes widened as the girl gave a sad smile.

"Come in…..please." Marisol sat on the extravagant couch…looking at the pictures of Tori displayed on the wall. They loved their daughter tremendously.

"Just tell me…how is my daughter." The Asian woman breathed slowly preparing for the worse.

"I just came to check up on her….she definitely….I am just a friend who cares for her." The black girl saw the mother walk to the gallery.

"I do to…but Tris is the only one who can get through to her. I have tried to convince Tori that I love her…and that me and her father want to help her…but she thinks it's a trick."

"Right now…she is very fragile…." Mare remembered her face as her secret was exposed. Did they know about the pills. Was it her place to tell her?

"She thinks it just our way to put her in more pageants…and that's our fault because of the pressure. We thought pageants could help her not focus so much on Maya's death….it backfired…and now she can't even live with us anymore."

"Mrs. Santamaria….Tris is watching out for her….and me too. I just want you to know…she is loved…and we will do our best to help her come back to you." The woman hugged the girl…who found the strength to hug back.

"This didn't start after Maya died….it was after her breakup…some boy…."

"Zig." Mare answered as the woman nodded.

"He has been calling the house lately…and I don't know wheter to hang up in his face or talk to him.

"….." The black girl listened.

"I know I can not blame him for my daughter's actions, but a part of me knows he is partly responsible for her "illness." She emphasized.

Well at least they knew….sadly.

"The counselors….the talks…the family vacations…nothing seems to work. I just want my daughter to be happy." The woman cried as the black girl hugged her.

….

Drew lay in her bed. Her head on his chest. She was sleep but his eyes were wide open. Her moans of passion could not block out the guilt he had in his heart. For what he did. How he tried to cover it up. And how it seemed as if Bianca and Katie had formed this unbreakable bond.

Hearing his phone vibrate, he gently moved the blonde, reaching on the nightstand.

"Let me guess, you are at Jenna's." Adam sat in the radio station knowing his brother. Disappointed in his actions to say the least.

"So what?" Drew put his clothes on, lowering his voice. Smiling at how he put the girl to sleep.

"Next time you want to make another impulsive, stupid decision, please let me know." Adam rolled his eyes at his brother's talent for destroying girls.

"How can I? You stay busy…." The tan boy walked in the bathroom.

"As you, Katie is pretty pissed. Dave told me how she blew up on….."

"Jen told me….I knew this would happen."

"Don't Drew…." The younger brother continued to write the material for his next show.

"What?" He said in frustration. Adam's sense of awareness always got on his nerves.

"Act you care so much about Jenna. You did the same with Katie and Bianca…look where it got you."

"Adam…I don't need…." Drew began to chastise.

"No you need to stop playing with girls emotions to satisfy your ego. How can you take Jenna seriously? She doesn't even take herself seriously." The boy shook his head at his charismatic brother.

"I made my choice regardless."

"….more like living with the consequences of it….just doesn't come looking to me to help pick up the pieces." Adam hung up.

"Whatever." Drew shook his head at his brother's sense of intellect.

…

The two girls looked surprised seeing their mothers together in the car. When did this friendship happen? And where was her father? Wiping the tears off her face, Katie pretended everything was ok as she met them outside.

As the two girls headed to the trunk, Gwen noticed the slight redness in her daughter's eyes. Shaking her head, she had to trust that Katie was in control and not on the brink.

Helping to take the wheelchair out of the truck, the two hands touched, and Bianca couldn't help but blush. And Katie noticed.

"Sorry." The red head shrugged as the other brushed it off.

"Thanks Lena." The woman hugged the baker as the two daughters helped the woman in the chair.

"Mom I could have taken you."

"You have so much to do yourself Katie. I can't allow you to miss school to take on this burden."

"You are not a burden."

"I know that…but still. Lena offered rolling down her window." Bianca smiled at her mom's loving nature.

"Come on kiddo." Lena smiled at her child as Bianca went to go get her bags from inside the house.

No….Katie's heart gripped. She couldn't go. She didn't want to be alone. Not now.

"Wait." The prissy tomboy squealed.

"Umm…mom. Can Binx spend the night over? It is a Friday. I know it is last minute." The girl gave her mom the puppy dog eyes.

"If it is good with Lena….." The blonde could not resist.

"Of course, Binx needs this." The girl walked upon the conversation. No. why would her mother volunteer her?

"yay." Katie hugged Bianca who hugged her back…looking at her mother through the car window.

"I'm going to go clean up real quick."

"mom…why would you do that?" Bianca sat in the car with her mom watching the two walk inside the house.

"I thought you two were friends."

"That's not the point. I can't be around her." Bianca looked down at her fingers afraid to say what her mother already knew.

"yes you can."

"Mom you don't understand. Something is wrong with me." Bianca looked at the woman who hugged her.

"Nothing is wrong with you. You are perfect. "The mother looked in her daughter's eyes, seeing the tear stains.

"Mom….you still don't get it. Something is happening to me when I am around her….I can't go back in that house. Please don't make me." The girl pleaded.

"Sweetie…some things you have to face head on. Right now you are at an age where you are not sure…." The woman began as the girl became more frustrated. She wasn't listening to her.

"This isn't some PBS special mom."

"I know that…which is why I saying…you can't run away."

Lena watched her daughter uncomfortably open the car door. She looked like she was walking to her death. And she knew why. She had always noticed their deep, intimate conversations. She just hoped Bianca knew that she would always love and support her no matter what.


	13. I Wanna Hold Your Hand

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

The Beatles

Chapter 13

….

Gwen looked at her studious daughter who picked up the living room in a bubbly manner. Never had she seen her daughter in this state after Maya's death. Even before. And she found herself…enjoying it. It was time that her daughter could clear her head and focus on the herself.

Katie couldn't help but notice her mother's observing eyes as she continued to clean.

"You are giddy about this." Gwen smiled.

"Yeah….today….was not…the best day…" The teen threw away the old newspaper…trying to not think about how uneasy Bianca looked when she suggested the idea for her to stay. Why?

"Let me guess…Drew…" The woman folded her arms.

The red head nodded.

"We are finally over."

"Good." The blonde said in a firm tone.

"I really need some clarity now." The girl said softly.

"So Bianca is that to you?" The woman organized the magazines on the table.

"What?" Katie tried to figure out where her mother was going with the conversation.

"Clarity."

Oh no…not this again.

"Mom…please tell me we are not having this conversation again." The girl rolled her eyes in agitation. She thought her relationship with Drew would end this once and for all. But it didn't. Why did her mom have to be so nosey?

"Katie…it's alright to have…"

"Mom….."

"Me and your father would love you regardless…."

"But that's not the case….I loved Drew." The red head sighed grateful that her friend was still outside talking to her mother.

"No you didn't dear…..that's not love." Gwen laughed knowing her daughter inside out…but the laughter only angered the teen.

"Mom….why are you laughing. Nothing is funny."

"Yes it is sweetie. And it will be even funnier when you see it for yourself."

"I did love Drew. He was….."

"Before you begin your rampage, are you trying to convince me or yourself? If you want me to drop this….fine. I will"

"Thank you mother." Katie let a breath out as the curly haired goddess walked in seeing her expression.

"Ummm I can call my to turn around." Sensing the distorted vibe.

"No sweetie." Gwen rolled to her. "We want you here." The woman smiled as the rebel smiled back.

….

"Your mom is nice." Katie scoffed at the comment as Bianca followed her new friend to her bedroom. Her whole house could fit in just the kitchen. She didn't feel comfortable around such a lavished home. With antique vases, wooden floors, mirrors and photo galleries.

"Make yourself at home." Katie tried to calm herself from the sheer relief of having her here with her.

"I can't I might break something valuable." The rebel sat on the lace sheets as the other sat beside her.

"Let's just make a rule…not to bring up Drew or Jenna." They both smiled sadly.

"Deal…." Bianca saw the guitar as she walked to it.

"It…was Maya's….I don't know how to play it though." The girl shrugged.

"I can't play either. At the orphanage, the workers would play for us to help up fall asleep. " Katie saw the emotion in her eyes as she was surprised to hear a sweet song in the air.

Come with me, my loveeee, to the sea, the sea of love, I wanna tell you, how much, I love you.

"I didn't know you could sing?"

"I'm alright…Mare is better…I'm a dancer at heart though."

"We know that." Katie said sarcastically as Binx bumped her playfully.

"You are something else Matlin."

"I hope that's a good thing."

"It is." Bianca tried to hide her blush.

…

Jenna woke up feeling rejuvenated. Never had she felt so alive. Drew with her….wait…where was he? Sitting up in her bed, she found the note on her bed stand.

_Cant wait for more days like this_..

The romantic gesture made her heart throb. She knew she could get his attention and keep it. She was different than Katie...and Bianca. She wasn't confused. She knew what she wanted. And her charms always got her ahead of others.

Putting clothes on, she texted her lover.

_Miss u already._

To her surprise, she heard a ring. He left his phone here. It was an honest mistake. Grabbing it, thoughts clouded her mind. What was Drew leaving behind? She already knew.

A gorgeous girl whose brain matched her beauty. An athlete who was overly protective of others.

Seeing Tori cry, she bit her lip. Sometimes….all the times…she got so mad, she couldn't see straight. And words came out…and her words honestly hurt a sweet girl who she took advantage of…and though she destroyed her life, she got her true prize…Drew.

Looking at the screen, her curiosity won as she unlocked the phone. Birthdays were so easy to guess. As she scrolled down the pictures…pictures of them hugging, kissing… she had to remind herself that Drew wasn't happy…but she had to also protect what was now hers.

….

"For an athlete, you definitely don't have any strength." Bianca smacked her in the stomach with pillow. The girls' laughter filling the home as Gwen overheard. She wished Maya were here to see her sister smile for once.

"And for a badass, you don't either." Katie hit her hard enough as the girl fell backwards on the bed.

Laughing at her victory, the athlete was in more shock feeling the girl bring her down with her. She was trying to wrap her mind around her playing such a childish game, but it was giving her more joy than she knew.

Both blushed at the awkward position on top of each other, Katie laid beside her.

"This bed is so soft…like at the orphanage. There were so many nights when K.C. would stay with me until I fell asleep. I don't know why I told you that." She bit her tongue knowing why.

Every second it seemed as if she was losing more control.

"I know why…because oddly enough…we feel comfortable around each other." Katie laughed uncontrollably.

"Maya would be so proud of me…she constantly teased me about my "on and off switch." The girls looked at the ceiling.

"My problem is that I show too much. K.C. always told me people would take advantage of that." Katie looked at her as she…..gently reached for her hand.

She didn't know why she felt the need to always want to hold Bianca's hand…but it just felt right to her. It was like…..

"Maybe it was a bad idea that I came here." The fighter sat up as she gripped the other girl's hand tighter. These emotions were too much for her. And she was feeling suffocated. Some how the girl beside her made her feel like this….she wasn't like this.

"I did It again. Making you feel uncomfortable…." The prep misread her expressions.

"It's not that…" Bianca said abruptly. "I shouldn't feel like this…I shouldn't be here…trusting you….helping you….Marisol should…..not me."

"No…because when you are here….I forget about Drew…I'm not sad. I just got my heart broken…and I am not sad….and I know that is because of you somehow."

"Katie…."

"Can we just rewind because….." Katie heard her phone ring. "Just stay here….it's probably Marisol." She reached for it on the floor.

_ Best decision of my life…..we never were…._

"That asshole. He just can't leave me alone" Katie gripped her phone tightly as the other grabbed it from her hand turning it off.

"Come on…..let's get out of here…we both need a break." The curly head girl felt guilty that she was taking away from the other. This was supposed to be she herself helping her. Not the other way around.

…..

Marisol watched him work in the kitchen. Carefully slicing chicken breasts. And she found herself smiling.

"You are definitely full of surprises Mike." Her elbows on the counter as he found himself nervous. He had never cooked for a girl. That's right…the charismatic Dallas who had conquered girls left and right…had never allowed himself to open up fully to just anyone.

"I had no other choice but too…my parents….let's just say I was a privileged orphan." He looked at her as she detected resentment.

"I know the feeling. Me and my mom are constantly arguing when she is not at home having many rendezvous." She grabbed a pot putting water inside. Dallas watched as she made herself at home…by his side.

"That explains it." He grabbed herbs from the cabinet.

"I know….like mother…like daughter…." She tried to hold back tears as she turned the stove.

"No…no….I mean…why you proving yourself to everyone….."

"As a slut." She looked at him.

"No…" touching her chin. "as a girl who wants to be valued for more than just her looks."

"I'm just glad I have a few people who take me seriously. Thanks for being one of those people."

"Thanks for being here for me too." He admitted as she took the herbs from his hands…shaking it on the chicken.

"This apartment is just compensation for them not being here for me…they think that matters. I guess that's why I try hard in hockey. I want to get away from them….from this."

"You get lonely too." Her eyes glowed as he nodded.

"All the time…no matter how many girls I had…it just."

"I get it…." She held his hand…as he laced their fingers together.

He was amazed. This girl was opening up to him as he was to her…and he found himself seeing that they had more in common than they thought. The way her hand fit in his. The way she rested her head on his chest as he played in her hair.

"I could really get used to this." Mare said aloud looking up at him as he smiled.

"me too." Sharing a peck, their heads turned hearing the stove make a light noise.

"Lets finish this chicken spaghetti."

…..

Katie missed Bianca's hand as they walked inside The Dot. Why? This girl was such a mystery to her…but she couldn't keep herself away from her.

"Can't believe your mom let me drive your car."

"Only because she thought I was too weak to drive it myself…I am so sick of her…."

"Katie take it from me…never take your mom's love for granted."

"It must has been really hard…." Binx began. "But this isn't about me…its about you…"

"No…it's about us." Katie touched her hand across the table...feeling a blush across her cheeks….quickly removing them.

"The nights I would lay in bed…praying I would have a home…I use to bargain with God…over silly things…like if I got a mom, I would get straight A's…I would never curse."

"Broke that one already." Katie teased as the two laughed.

"Bitch." The two laughed as the waitress waited.

"2 chilli cheese fries…..with peppers." The curly haired girl said.

"They are pretty big…." Katie stated glad she was off for the whole week.

"One then….don't mind sharing do you…."

"I guess I can with you." Katie teased as the waitress observed.

"So who do I give the ticket too?" The woman winked as the two girls blushed ignoring the other's eyes.

….

Zig walked inside…taking in what he had left behind. Nothing had changed. The Dot was still The Dot. Time kept moving and yet…it stayed still. Memories flashed of the four of them eating together. Him and Tori the perfect couple…then him and Maya….a relationship that could have blossomed into something more.

When she became sick…how he didn't visit her. How he took her life for granted. How he took everything for granted. Viewing the eatery, he scanned the happiness on their faces…and his journey to find his.

Shaking his head, he thought his eyes deceived him.

Katie Matlin and Bianca Powell-Desousa.

Bianca saw the rugged boy walk inside and she didn't know if she was to tell Katie. When he was there at the school it seemed as if he was nonchalant. He couldn't hide the fact that he was in between girls. Just like Drew. Why did girls have to always like the guys everyone else wanted?

"What are you looking at?" Katie noticed her friend's big brown eyes become discreet.

"Nothing…." The rebel lied as Katie turned her head.

O my God.

And judging by Zig's face, he was scared. Good. He should be.

Letting go of the breath he held, he walked to them seeing them share some chilly cheese fries. It wasn't like he could avoid them after the girl targeted him with her eyes.

Did all the boys who caused her strife have to show up today?

As he approached her slowly, she felt Bianca hold her hand and she gently laced their fingers together.

Zig saw this and he became confused by this. Since when was Katie…..

"Well hello to you Zigmund."

"Hey…I see you are wearing the pick I sent." He tried to change the atmosphere.

"That doesn't excuse you from being scum." Katie said with bite not caring about what she just learned. A good deed did not excuse even more terrible actions.

"I don't know what else to say to make this better…..I miss Maya so much….I"

"O poor Zig…I am so sorry that you wanted to turn two friends against each other. I am so sorry that you didn't come visit Maya in the hospital…or come to her funeral…I am so sorry that you left Degrassi to ease your conscious." Her voice got louder as others began to look.

"Katie." He said with defeat knowing he deserved her sarcastic comment. "I regret what I did everyday….Tori and Tris won't call me back….."

"Because you hurt them too." Bianca interjected as Zig looked at her. This wasn't her business at all.

"You act as if you want people to forget. Do you know the hell Tori has been through? I bet you don't because all you cared about was getting my sister..and when she got sick…you forgot about her."

"I hope you were not looking for an apology…" Katie looked him in the eye as he shook his head.

"I don't know what I was looking for….but it's not like you were the best person to her either….and of all people…you should understand regret….Maya talked to me more than she ever talked to you….and I see what she saw….an arrogant, judgmental girl who could never see anything from her own perspective."

"You have no right…" Bianca began to defend.

"O so I am just supposed to let her trash me like that. Who are you anyways….aren't you still running up behind Drew while he runs up behind Katie. Stay out of this." He said with force.

"You don't talk to her like that….ever." Katie stated.

"O….so let me guess. Drew didn't work out….so now you switched teams…." The boy looked at their hands as they immediately broke apart.

"That's what I thought….say whatever you want but you have done your dirt too." She held head down as the boy walked away

…

Marisol checked her phone hoping Tori would answer. She did not. She didn't know whether to take it as good or bad, biting her lip Mike only observed as he placed the chicken spaghetti in his mouth.

"You can't worry yourself to death like this." He continued to eat as she only nodded texting Tristian.

Reaching, he grabbed the phone from her hand as he turned it off.

"You can't elect yourself Tori and Katie's keeper."

"I just hate how I didn't see it..it makes me think that I am reverting back to my old ways."

"That's crap..because people show you what you they want you to see. You have your own life and problems. You have to take care of yourself first before anyone else." He assured,

"I would give anything to come from a stable environment. To have both parents love me…to not argue every night…or morning…..I use to be so jealous of Katie for having that…they were like the perfect family."

"I know what you mean." He agreed. "I hate to admit it…but I still get lonely. I have gotten use to the feeling though….of not being able to feel true affection…"

"What about me?" Mare asked shyly.

"you are…" He tried to articulate "I miss you when you leave." He admitted not looking at her.

"Me too…." Her eyes glowed as the two continued to eat.

…

Laying on the grass in her back yard, Katie stared at the night sky…seeing Zig's face in the stars. He was right. Maya was right. She hadn't changed the least bit. She steadily casted judgement. She was steadily seeing others' faults and not her own.

Bianca's eyes she could feel on her. Knowing what the fighter wanted to express….

"Go on say it." Katie kept her eyes toward the stars. It was like that night in the park. The way Bianca glowed…it was like she was a….

"There is nothing for me to say…." Bianca shrugged feeling as if this wasn't her place to give her opinion.

"So in other words…you know I was in the wrong." Katie bit her lip as she sat up looking down at the other girl.

"I am not saying that. Katie-kins you are entitled to feel how you feel towards Zig…just as he is towards you….its just that…." She couldn't look her friend in the eye; she wasn't there to hurt her; she had already been through enough.

"What" Katie said in defeat.

"Zig really tried to be sincere towards you. I know the timing was off, but at least…."

"You don't know him like I know him." Katie cut her off.

"….no I don't…but I know when someone is lying to me. I see it in their eyes….and he wasn't…."

"Maybe so….."

"I know it is hard, but people can change for the best….it is never too late for that…." Bianca sat up once again feeling the desire to hold her hand.

It was as if everyone in her life could see it, but she was denying it to herself even now. What was she feeling for the misguided prep who always kept her calm?

"Does it creep you out that people think we are "together." She asked abruptly.

Katie's eyes bucked at the blatant question. It's not as if she didn't think about it as well. Their connection made her question everything she though she knew about attraction…if this was attraction.

She hated to make herself even more confused asking herself over and over again why did she like holding the girl's hands…but the girl was looking at her and she couldn't deny her.

"I don't know…I mean…I...it just seems as if …everyone is always trying to use labels or define something….this is just our friendship….and it isn't anyone's business." Katie hoped that answer would suffice as she stood up.

Bianca knew that answer was more than a cop out. Katie did too.


	14. I Wanna Hold Your Hand part 2

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

Chapter 14

Part 2

…

Tori sat outside…breathing…trying to summon up some courage. Courage to talk to her parents…..to talk to Marisol….to Tristian….and….to Zig.

She knew he was calling Tristan. He was a horrible liar. And she had so much to say to him. How he hurt her. How he tried to put her and Maya against each other….how he forgot about Maya…it wasn't about their relationship anymore…it was about how he never realized his actions had consequences.

The many nights Katie took her home from the hospital….and he was never to be found. Seeing Maya's spirit break everyday cut her deeper and deeper…..wishing she could take the pain away from her…hating how she wasted her energy hating her best friend over some stupid boy.

_Tori gripped her best friend's hand tighter as she watched the girl cry. Katie and her parents gone to the cafeteria. They needed the break._

"_Tori I can't do this anymore." Maya squinted. The lights hurting her eyes. Her body feeling weaker and weaker. The unbearable pain._

"…_." The Philopino girl could not say anything but hope she could be strong for both of them. Looking at her frail, and pale sister._

"_It hurts….to….talk….to…breathe….to….." She began slowly._

"_Then don't Maya….save your strength."_

"_I have…" Maya coughed. "…none….Tori…I am so tired….tired of being in pain….tired of watching doctors give me lies…..I know I'm…."_

"_Shut-up…" Tori yelled at the girl. She didn't want to hear the words. She didn't want to face this…didn't want Maya to face this._

"_Why because…..it's the …..truth." Maya choked on her words. "It's true…I'm dying Tori….and you know this."_

"_But you can't…" Tori cried. "I can't do this without you…."_

"_yes you can…Tori….you….are stronger than you think." Maya held her hand tighter. Their friendship being tested even now. She hated seeing her friends and family suffer like this….because of her._

_But she couldn't pretend anymore. She was tired of being so strong when she was not._

"Maya I don't know why you think that." The girl said aloud not hearing the door open behind her.

Owen saw the girl sit on the front steps. Nights like these….were his relaxation times…but this seemed more important. Looking at the envelop in his hand.

He knew Tori was his brother's best friend. And that he should let him handle the situation, but something told him the girl needed to see this.

It was from Zig. Placed in the mailbox today, luckily he got home before Tris did.

He loved his brother, but he couldn't protect Tori to point where he took her choices away from her. He knew the girl knew her ex was calling him. He saw it in her eyes.

"I didn't wake you with my rambling did I?" The girl asked sadly….and sweetly at the same time.

"No….I just think you need to see this." He sat beside her as she grabbed the envelope in his hand.

"From Zig I bet." She looked at it as if she were afraid to open it. And she was truly afraid. She wasn't ready to see whatever he gave her.

"You don't have to open it yet, but you have the option of deciding what you want." He stated.

"Thanks for that…..I love Tris for what he is doing for me….but sometimes I just need to breathe….you know…."

"Yeah…." He stated.

"Tristian is my rock…but Maya was strength. She always fought…and knew how to adapt…..I just wish I had one half of that."

"You do….you just need to tap into it." The muscular boy assured.

"Sometimes I found myself thinking about my addiction…."

"But that its Tori…that is expected but you are strong because you don't give into it. You find some reason not to."

She only nodded.

"You are stronger than you think." They both smiled.

….

Another night….another nightmare…

Bianca laid in the bed….her back turned to Katie…clutching herself. She cried…..

She could still see it. Months had passed…and it was still clear to her…

The Blood.

The stretcher…

K.C.'s lifeless body.

The car….shattered in pieces….

She should have died too. Because every time she thought she found contentment…she would always mess it up for herself….and not even intentionally.

Just when she thought she had made friends…her feelings changed for her. For Katie. When was she even into girls? How did this happen?

She couldn't deny it anymore.

What would K.C. think of her?

Right now she was sharing a bed with the girl who was helping her put back her life. And she was fighting the urge to touch her.

Katie turned around…looking at the girl's back. Hearing her light sobs. Scooting over she rested her arm around Bianca's waist.

And she couldn't help but smell her hair. Her gorgeous curly hair. That always shined. It just felt natural to be around this girl….and she knew why.

"Another nightmare?" Katie whispered as Bianca nodded.

The red head only held her.

"It gets like this….one minute you are fine and the next it comes to you all at once." Bianca nodded at the girl's comment refusing to look at the girl.

"Come on….I will make you some warm milk. It always put Maya to sleep."

…

Mike tucked her into his bed. Kissing her on the cheek, he pulled the covers over her. Replaying what they just shared. Their intimate conversations. But from families that didn't want them. Both needing someone who they could truly talk to.

"Mike?" she woke up as she saw him turning the light off.

"Yeah." He asked watching her sit up and remove the cover from herself.

"I should go…I don't want to wear out my welcome." She said groggily walking towards him. How could she have fallen sleep so quickly?

"You are not wearing out your welcome." He stated walking her back to bed.

"Will you stay with me…." She asked as he only nodded.

Taking off his hoodie, she was thankful his back was turned to her. A good guy was something new to her still. She was….words could not explain the pure elation of being here at this moment…with him.

How could she not feel him pick her up? That didn't matter. She had never felt so safe.

Taking off her pants. Grateful her shirt was long enough to cover her butt, she sighed in relief.

Her concern made her not see Dallas' eyes on her. Her body was truly beautiful. Long gorgeous legs. He wanted to touch them. Damn it. Could he really do this?

Turning around shyly, he got in the bed lifting the covers for her.

She didn't know why she was nervous. Refusing to look in his eyes, she bit her lip as she tucked herself in his arms.

"Goodnight." She said softly.

"…Goodnight." He pecked her lips as sleep enveloped them.

…..

"Sometimes….I get so angry…but I never tell my mom…..She needs to know that I am ok…for her own sanity." Bianca watched Katie place the kettle on the stove.

"Binx you don't have to strong all the time….." The red head poured the milk in the mug.

"Then who will be strong enough for me?" Bianca accepted the mug from her true happiness.

"…me." Katie said instinctively sitting down beside her.

"I can't let you do that…." Binx looked at the red head's arms as Katie shrugged. She knew she should have worn her robe. She was still self- conscious about them.

"Don't…it is nothing to be ashamed of…."Bianca stopped the girl from trying to hide as she touched them. "Remember I touched them?" The brunette hating how pain brought this girl to her wit's end.

"Yeah….." Katie blushed feeling Bianca touch her arms again. Moving her hand to….lace their fingertips together. The electricity in her fingertips. The rush of her heart beating. What was happening to her? She just broke up with Drew….

And Bianca just lost her brother….

But there was this force pulling them together.

Bianca now understood why Drew couldn't keep himself away from the over achiever. Her beauty, her wisdom. Her eyes that held every emotion inside. Her protective nature for her loved one.

Smiling lightly, she squeezed Katie's hand…touching her cheek with the other.

Bianca looked in her eyes. Wanting to lean forward...and Katie saw the want in her eyes…and want in her own heart. Should she do this…?

Should she take a risk and act without thinking.

Bianca was everything she wasn't…..outgoing…outspoken….a fighter who had so much determination to survive. What she lacked, the other made up and vice versa.

Her body made the decision for her as she leaned in….waiting patiently for their lips to touch. So close….

"Girls….." Gwen asked groggily rubbing her eyes. Not seeing a thing.

"Yeah…" Both girls squeaked…..immediately standing up. Removing themselves from the table.

"Did I leave my pain medicine in here?" Gwen rolled to the cabinet as Katie felt so awkward.

Bianca left the room…not seeing the disappointment in Katie's eyes…and longing.

This was a sign to her. She didn't deserve happiness. Every time it was given, it was easily taken away.

….

Tris woke up….eyeing his room. Where was Tori? Walking swiftly to the living room. He let out a long breath.

She was laughing….finally she was laughing….and she and Owen shared some popcorn.

"Tris come join us." The girl giggled at the silly movie on tv.

"Umm…sure." Tris looked at Owen oddly. How did he get the girl to so easily laugh?

"What's this?" Tris eyed the envelope. Tori heard the question pretending to not hear him.

"Tore…." He kept asking as Owen rolled his eyes at his brother's dramatics.

"Lay off Tris. Maybe she needs some peace." He volunteered as Tori shook her head.

"he's right….I don't want to talk about it right now." Hoping Tris didn't feel like she was picking sides.

Wishful thinking.

"O….so now I am in the wrong?" He voice in an accused tone.

"No." She assured. "But I want to enjoy a badly written movie….I need this."

"Ok…..I will back off." Owen heard his brother's lie as he headed to the kitchen leaving them alone to talk.

"Where do you think you are going?" Tris left Tori on the couch. It took everything for the girl to not eavesdrop. She hoped she didn't start a war between them.

"Tris….." Owen whispered.

"What did I do to upset her?"

"You need to let her go a little. I know you care…but you don't want her to suffocate."

"Since when do you know so much about feelings and emotions…."

"I listen and observe…even though you are doing everything in your power to help Tori, she will not talk until she is ready…..and hiding things from her won't help either."

"Zig is only…"

"It doesn't matter….it is her life…and she is going to have to learn how to deal and cope…she can't miraculously change in a week."

"You're right…but it's hard…. I just…I couldn't protect Maya…Tore is all I have left….."

"Bro…I know….but some things we can't stop."

…

Lena was happy her daughter was finding her place. She would just continue to find hers. As long both of her children were content. She hoped wherever K.C. was, he was content too.

A mother always wanted more for her children then herself.

Taking a deep breath, she looked in her son's room. Like the millions on times before.

Rummaging through his clothes in his closet. His lazy boy punk style, she called it.

Laughing, she mentally saw him rolling his eyes at her.

And she missed that. His hugs. His kisses. His conversation. But despite all that…she kept moving.

She kept searching….

It was like she was looking for his ghost to come back….and welcome her….tell her that he missed her. Like she did him.

She had been drowning herself in Bianca and the Bakery to not think of him. To not think of the mistakes she had made. What she tried to not see herself.

Grasping the pill bottle in her hand. The one she had found under his bed.

Breathing deeply, her heart dropped.

She knew there was something he was trying to hide from her. And this was it.

"_Since when have you started back being around Fitz again?" Lena asked him suspiciously at the breakfast table._

"_Mom…..it's called privacy." K.C .locked his phone. How could he forget?_

"_No its called respecting your mother….and answer the question." She poured milk in her cereal. Waiting for an answer. Her piercing green eyes demanded an answer and he knew it._

"_Mom…..just butt out." He rolled his eyes eating an English muffin._

_This was not her son. He rarely talked back. Easily tempered, he was not._

"_No….you listen. Stay away from him. I do not want my child to end up in jail before he graduates." She said sternly as flared his nostrils._

"_Do you not hear me?" She raised her voice as K.C. cowered. Thankful Binx was still taking a shower. How he wanted to tell them. But he was shamed himself….trying to control the shaking of his hands._

_This was taking over his life…but he couldn't help it. He would die with this secret._

"_Yes ma'am." He said softly._

"_That boy steals, sells drugs…and God knows what else. You of all people should know that. When I adopted you and Binx, we talked about this. Stay away from him." K.C. stood up in shame placing his dishes in the dishwasher._

"_I'll be waiting on Bianca outside." He kissed the woman._

Why couldn't she see it then? Was she too trusting of her child?

…

Katie bit her lip seeing Bianca on the floor….turning her head away from her. No….what happened to change what she thought they both felt.

Bianca didn't want to face her. She knew what she would hear next.

Let's just be friends.

Or better…

We got caught up in the moment.

This was worse than Drew leaving her. She thought nothing could break her down more after K.C.s death…but Katie did.

"Are you going to talk to me….." Katie laid in her bed feeling alone with Bianca now…sleeping on the floor.

"….."

"Binx….I….just say something." Katie felt defeated

"There is nothing to say. People come and go in my life. Might as well cut it off before it began." The fighter stated cynically.

"Did I say that?" Katie sat up.

"No…I am saying it for you and me….whatever this is we both feel for one another." Bianca let slip out.

"so it's not one sided?" Katie asked as Bianca….eventually…shook her head.

"Then why are trying to cause conflict when there isn't…..I want this….." The red head felt hurt seeing how the girl remained on the floor. Her head turned.

"You don't know what you want Katie. You just broke up with Drew. I just lost K.C…..Drew…..to you if I might add." Trying to sound as if she was not hurt by her own words.

"And I just lost Drew to Jenna…..why are you trying to hurt me right now…I am trying to give us what we both want." Katie got out of the bed as Bianca immediately got up moving to the other side of the room.

"Please don't Katie." Bianca tried to push her away the more she got closer to her. There was nowhere to go. She was in the corner

"just…don't stop this…." Katie approached her slowly. Lacing their fingers together. And she saw it again. The longing….the wanting. But this time….

Bianca collided their lips together….surprising Katie. And she herself. Her body couldn't deny the girl before her. Gently playing in her red hair. Katie was begging for entrance with her tongue. And who was Bianca to deny her.

Both smiling as their tongues played together.

"Katie…" The two broke apart. "I don't want to get hurt….I told you what my biggest flaw was….." She looked in her eyes…..

"…I know…..but right now….let's just focus on this moment…we can figure this out as we go….." they smiled as Katie led them to her bed. She was too scattered brained and excited to sleep. But she would try to as she laid beside the girl she wanted this with. Whatever this was called.


	15. Demons

Demons

Imagine Dragons

Chapter 15

…

Mare couldn't stop the butterflies in her stomach. Or stop the smile on her face. Parking her car, she let out a long sigh. Her mother was here. And she to prepare herself for the argument she was about to have in 5 minutes.

No.

She would not let this woman take her joy.

Opening the door, it didn't surprise her seeing her mother sit in kitchen, facing her direction. The scowl on her face. The fury in her eyes. At that minute Marisol knew where she got her hatred from.

"Where were you?" The black woman asked folding her arms as she stood up.

"Hello to you too." Mare said calmly not looking in her eyes. Trying to ignore the tension.

Heading straight towards her room, the woman followed.

"Don't brush me off with your sarcasm." Ms. Lewis stood at the girl's door…watching her drop her bags.

"O so now you are trying to be a mother. It's a little bit too late for that." The girl heard her phone vibrate.

"Where were you Marisol….." The gorgeous black woman demanded an answer as her daughter continued to not look at her.

"With Katie." She lied looking at the woman as she began to clean her room.

"Don't lie to me little girl….you were with some boy…how many this week?" The woman walked up to her daughter. Her flesh and blood who resembled her. The girl who hated her mostly in the world…but not as much as she hated herself.

"…..you don't know one thing about me mom…..I don't always hop in and out of beds." The teen raised her voice. How could she believe she wasn't a slut if her mother believed otherwise.

"But I do know when I am being lied to….I know you were with some boy." The two looked into each other's eyes.

"Then I am my mother's daughter….but at least the guys I talk too aren't married."

_SLAP_

"You watch your mouth. I am the adult and you are the child. You don't even know the sacrifices I made so that we can live…because your father left us….I chose to survive…."

"No you chose to…" Mare ignore the sting from hit.

"Say another word and I will redden the other cheek." Mare held her cheek at the women's harsh comment as she left the room.

Slamming the door, Mare couldn't believe that her mother just hit her. But she didn't cry. She didn't show her weakness. But soon, teardrops fell…and she couldn't stop them.

Hearing her phone vibrate, she ignored the call grabbing her purse. Opening her window, she escaped.

"Go to hell mom." She said silently as turned on the car ignition heading towards nowhere.

….

The smell of coffee in the air…Bianca slowly opened her eyes. Smiling gently, a mop of red head welcomed her. Katie.

Last night…they kissed…

They kissed…

And they both wanted it.

Moving the hair away from her true affection, Bianca admired her face and beautiful nose ring.

She always saw why Drew wanted her. And it amazed her how she turned out wanting her too.

But these feelings for the girl lying beside her didn't scare her anymore. It didn't make her re-evaluate herself or give herself a label.

Wasn't it…unusual…..

It was unusual how this felt natural to her. And that she didn't care what others thought about the situation.

And this was a situation.

It was just a kiss….but could they develop into something more. What if she was getting overly excited? What if this led to a dead end? What if Katie woke up telling her that she was experimenting?

Her heart couldn't take that….what if?

"Bianca?" Carl walked by the room seeing the girl looking at his daughter. Seeing what he saw in her eyes the minute he met her in school. Gwen told him her thoughts. And surprisingly, he accepted it. He just didn't want Katie to not feel accepted.

And deep down, they both knew.

Katie always connected better with girls. And for once he wanted her to be comfortable in her skin. She didn't need to hide anymore. And Bianca helped her in more ways than she knew.

"Want something to eat?" He offered casually sipping as the girl joined him for breakfast.

"You have a beautiful home….and family." Binx said nervously.

"It's Carl…..and so do you. You and Lena have endured so much these months…but it will get better. I promise."

"It is slowly but surely…"

"Me and Gwen are just grateful that Katie can share her turmoil with someone who understands fully. It seems as if she is becoming better herself."

"Yeah…me too." Bianca smiled thinking about the kiss as she sent a quick text to her mother.

Hopefully, the woman had a peaceful night. What she discovered about her brother, she hoped her mother would never know.

She didn't want Lena's memory of her son to be tainted.

Not that hers were tainted of him…but there was nothing she could say to make it better.

Her mother would blame herself and she would have to pick up the pieces.

Why would K.C. do this to them?

Sometimes she wished….

"Something on your mind?" He poured her some juice.

"My mom…I just care for her so much….I want her be…." She gripped the glass.

"You don't have to say anything….when Maya….left us…I wasn't worried about me…my concern was for Gwen and Katie. I wanted them to move on if I couldn't…"

The rebel could only nod…noting how Lena didn't text her back. She was usually up this hour.

"Why isn't she answering?" Bianca called with a scared expression….no answer. This was not like her all. She kept her phone with her at all times.

"I will drop you off home…..I'm sure everything is fine….don't panic." He stated as Bianca nodded. She hoped she was overacting. But she sensed something was wrong.

Gathering her things, she kissed Katie on the cheek.

….

"It's called shame Drew." Adam closed the refrigerator seeing his brother on the was about time he actually suffered.

"Shut up Adam….you know I already regret Jenna." Drew sighed.

"Good…."

"Why is it your concern anyways? It's like you enjoy seeing me mess up.." Watching as he sat on the loveseat.

"It's not that Drew…It's just that you never learn. And every time I think you have grown….you go back one step. This is more than just Bianca, Katie, and Jenna. This is about yourself."

"I can see that….." He said with agitation.

"You may can see that…but that is all you are doing….because you haven't looked at the whole picture. You haven't stepped back and observed. You are so compulsive and impulsive….like a kid who sees something new…you want it immediately."

"….." The boy could not disagree with the truth.

"and then once you realize it is like your other toys, you want to forget about it….."

"…."

"People aren't toys…..they have feelings and emotions. Think about how it was for me…..how I would get my heart broken…girl after girl…" Adam thought of all his disappointments.

"But Adam…"

"No Drew…I know we are not perfect…but you know what you are doing…..you plan it in your head…don't lie about it….When Katie was tutoring….you knew where you wanted it to go…."

"Now I don't have Bianca and Katie…."

"And you honestly don't need them." The younger brother drank his drink.

"So what am I supposed to do? Leave Jenna for myself?"

"I can't tell you what to do….but man up." He stated.

…

Mike held the girl as she stood at his door once again. Clenching his shirt. Her tears were not enough. And Mike grew angrier listening to her story.

Why couldn't parents see that they are a product of their disaster?

"Does it still hurt baby?" He blushed at his term of endearment. Placing the ice bag on her cheek as he guided her to the couch.

"She never hit me before…..despite how horrible the arguments got. She really hates me." Dallas kissed her forehead.

There was nothing he could say to make this better. And driving to her house to confront her mother wouldn't work either.

But he needed to hit something…but for now...he would hold her.

….

"Mom…"The girl walked up the stairs as she heard the cries from her brother's room. Taking a deep breath, she had to prepare herself to see her mother live in mental misery.

Misery of losing a child.

Pain that she couldn't take away.

Opening the door, found her mother in his bed. Clutching the pill bottle tightly in her hand. Her tears continued to fall.

"Mom…don't cry." The teen comforted her mother seeing the true reason for her tears. Restin her head on her chest. Bianca took in the white strands that were beginning to show. She was stressed beyond reason.

"I should have known….I could have given him help. I keep replaying all of these memories in my head. I saw it and I overlooked it."

"I keep doing the same thing." Bianca admitted. "And I chose to not listen to Fitz's words….mom what do we do?"

"I don't know babe…but all we can do for now….is to live." She looked at her beautiful daughter.

"Me and K.C. have given you so much heartache. Why do you still love us…..even after you found out about his dependency…you still love us."

"Because….you both are my children. No matter what. And these tears…are only of regret…and that is where we must leave it…..because there is nothing we can do now. We cannot go back in time…and he is not suffering anymore."

"Mom….."

"I have to keep living for you." Lena struggled to smile. "I cannot stress over the past….and I know K.C. knows that we loved him." Lena sat up slowly. She hated that her daughter saw he like this.

"These months have passed….and I have been beating myself up…wishing I could have protected him better. Wishing I was a better parent. Wishing I could have given you guys more."

"Mom…you gave us all we ever wanted….a family." Bianca held her mother.

"That is what I wanted to….."The two hugged.

….

Drew sat on the park bench. Jenna resting on her chest. People smiling at them as they passed out. If only they knew how he felt about her. What he left for her.

Jenna couldn't be any more happier. She was finally his. She had all of his attention. Luckily she erased the message she sent to Katie from his phone.

It was amazing how sex could get old with one person. Maybe it was a connection or mental thing. But It never got old with Bianca.

And unfortunately, comparing Jenna to Bianca and Katie wouldn't get old either.

Fitz would never admit it, but he use to have feelings for Bianca. But he couldn't approach her. He knew he wasn't good enough for her. And he hated seeing Drew leave her for Katie. He hated his ex-friend walk the halls pretending she was alright. He knew her.

He knew he was the jerk. The bully….Bianca always cut through his layers. And seeing these two in the park together made his blood boil.

"Well I see you didn't wait very long." Fitz smirked at the couple. His sarcasm was his one of his talents.

"What do you want? We aren't your customers." Jenna stated as Drew tried his best to ignore the bully. And the bully saw it.

"Dang Drew, she runs you." He smirked as the prep stood up.

"So how long is this one going to last Drew?" He looked at the blonde as her eyes blared with rage.

"Shut up." Drew stated angrily.

"That is none of your business." Jenna stood beside him.

"Why do you always have to start drama. Are you that miserable in your life?" Jenna folded his arms.

"Notice how your boyfriend isn't defending you….." Fitz smirked walking off as hoped the blonde would ignore his words.

….

Katie replayed the kiss in her mind over and over again. And it felt so right. How did her mother know what she really wanted? And it wasn't girls that she wanted in her mind…but Bianca.

Laughing at the irony of the situation.

Two girls who searched for comfort in each other by being dumped by the same boy.

She felt as if she was going to explode. The giddying in her heart could not be ignored. Walking in the kitchen, she found her mother cleaning.

Marisol hadn't texted her back yet as she looked at her phone.

"Things must have gone well last night." The woman read her daughter's body language.

"….it did….." Katie shrugged grabbing a piece of toast and banana. "Mom…how did you…"

"Katie….I see the way you two are together. She is very protective of you as you are of her." She watched her love striken daughter eat slowly.

"But I am scared mom…..what does this mean we are? Are we together….just friends….are we both confused?"

"Just take it slow….step by step….you two have all the time in the world." Gwen held her hand.

"Why aren't you acting so shocked by this mom…." Katie couldn't believe this moment was so….calm.

"sweetie….because this is you. And me and your father love you. In everything that you do…." The woman squeezed her hand as the red head nodded.

"I guess I am a little scared because Binx isn't answering her phone….she hasn't left me a text…I hope she doesn't regret it…..and Marisol isn't answering either."

"Give her time dear." Gwen drank her coffee. "And as for Marisol….who knows what her mother is putting her through." Katie nodded hearing her phone vibrate.

"That might be Bianca now…." Gwen reassured.

"No…it's Mare….and I got to go check up on her….now." Katie said in urgency as she finished eating.

….

"Bianca you don't need to do this." Lena smiled as the girl fixed her a snack.

"Yes I do…..you can't keep putting your life on hold for me. I can't allow it." Bianca handed her a fork. Knowing she was missing Katie's calls. Her phone in a pocket.

"Go hang out with Katie dear." The woman smiled eating the pastry with some tea.

"Mom you are my main priority." Binx handed her a napkin. A blush upon her cheek.

She hoped the girl could understand her predicament. She would call back later.

"Sweetie…I know it hurts for you to see me like this but it is my priority to look out for you. Not the other way around."

"But you keep telling me I deserve to be at peace like you don't mom. It's not fair. I can have that…and you can too." The teen grabbed some jelly from the fridge.

"Sweetie I am content to a certain degree. And this takes time….At least I can wake up again…and breathe….and at least….I can accept the fact that K.C. isn't coming back."

"But what about his dependency…"

"That was K.C.'s choice…I wish I knew what started him to do it though…and no matter how much I tell myself I did a good job being his mother…a part of me tells me that I didn't."

"Come on mom…you need to sleep…" Bianca observed the bags underneath the woman's eyes. The woman nodded as her daughter escorted her to bed.

…

Zig stared at the gigantic brick house. Tori's house. The pain her parents felt for her and themselves.

And then tears touched his cheek. He rarely cried but all he could think about was what he did.

Earlier today, he stared at her tombstone. Maya Matlin.

And he shook. Not from the chill air, but his need to make things right.

The people she left behind.

How hurt Tori was broken after losing her.

She was such a sweet girl…and she didn't deserve to hold all of this pain to herself. She didn't deserve his cruelty.

And Tris didn't deserve to protect her alone.

So many times he wanted to ring the doorbell. To talk to her parents…tell them that he did care for their daughter….but he couldn't.

He just couldn't. He was a coward.

And just like the other times, he kept walking.


	16. Demons part 2

Demons

Chapter 16

Part 2

….

Bianca kissed her mother on the forehead as she watched her one more time. The woman was right. They both had a life to live. And they had to learn how to live with the pain of loss.

There was no way they could pick up the pieces he left behind.

She prayed her mother would eventually stop beating herself up….

This wasn't the woman's battle…nor was it hers.

"K.C. how could you do this us? I wish you could have trusted us." She said in defeat as she sat on the couch. She wondered did Katie feel like this about Maya. That was a crazy question. She knew the girl did.

But their family found the strength to move on….and honestly… She needed strength herself. She needed to hear her voice.

She just hoped the girl didn't take her not answering as a bad sign.

"Please answer…." She begged in urgency.

"…Hello?" Katie asked in a somber and nervousness. She almost dropped the phone from excitement.

"Hey….." Bianca caught herself from jumping out of her skin. Could she call her "baby"? What were they?

"Ummmm….I was with my mom…I didn't want you to think that I regretted what happened…do you?" Bianca felt like a child for asking. She was direct but she didn't care; she couldn't afford to feel pain later. If she felt it now…she could get it over with.

"No…not at all. It was the best kiss I have ever experienced." The rebel caught the sadness in her voice.

"Then why do you sound so depressed?" The brunette held herself expecting the worse. Here it comes.

"….its Marisol….she and her mother had another fight…it got pretty ugly." Katie informed her about Mike's text as Bianca let out the breath she didn't know she was holding.

"I got to go and pick up clothes at her house and bring them to Mike's." Katie stopped at the light.

"I will go with you….." Bianca volunteered. She couldn't be away from her now more than ever.

"Good…because I don't know what state she will be when we get there. Poor Marisol."

…..

Mare woke up from her nap smiling gently as the guy she cared for placed Bengay on her cheek. Her mother had a strong grip. And despite their argument, the woman did not come after her. She didn't want her own daughter to be with her after all.

Tori didn't realize how good she had it…

Seeing the concern in his eyes, she shook her head at his comment.

"Mike I can't do that….I can't stay with you?" Marisol stated feeling weak.

"So what are you going to do? Keep staying with the person who breaks you down day by day. It is taking everything in me not to go over there myself." His deep voice rose moving himself away from her. He wanted to hit something.

Marisol had never known someone to have so much passion for her.

"This isn't your fight….this is my life. I just have this year….and then….I will be in college….in an apartment…away from her…..I am not some weak girl who needs Mike Dallas to save her."

"Mare this isn't about you being weak or strong...or my ego…this is about the girl that I care for need help." He touched her cheek. "We should call the cops?"

"For what….have her lie….it's not that crucial." She held herself as he looked at her with sorrow.

"What is it with you? You are so use to be discarded and mistreated by so many people. You don't deserve this. You don't and I will not allow it…" He stated firmly.

"…." Mare couldn't look him in the eyes because she still didn't believe his words….no matter how much he looked out for her.

"That woman hurt you. It is not alright." He placed his hands on his forehead.

He actually sent Katie to go get her clothes. And he couldn't convince her otherwise how much she meant to him.

…

Carl opened the door helping Gwen inside Lena's home. Bianca was so worried about her mother that they had to check up on her themselves.

"Lena?" Gwen asked seeing the woman walk down the stairs. Rubbing her eyes.

"What brings you two here?" She looked at them with confusion.

"You definitely need to find another hiding place for the spare key." Carl sat down at the kitchen table as Lena smiled sadly.

"Bianca was so worried about you today dear….we just…where is she?" The blonde woman asked.

"Probably with Katie…..the two girls are nearly inseparable now." Lena stated as they all agreed.

"At least I know one of my children is doing well because the other was doing drugs?" She placed her hands on her head sitting down.

"…" Carl and his wife just looked at one another. Amazing how the truth comes out after death.

"I found numerous pill bottles under his bed and mattress….." The brunette woman vented. "it's like right when I think I can begin to move something just stops that…."

"I was never able to have children….I thought this was a blessing….."

"And it is dear….this doesn't erase all the good things you have done for him…and he loved you. He does...even now."

"but I don't love myself as a parent…" The defeated woman shook her head.

"Well you should because Bianca has only benefited….." The man tried to give her praise.

"She held K.C. so highly…."

"And K.C. led her in the right direction so she wouldn't make the same mistakes he did. Katie told me this. Bianca was thankful to have him…and so were you….." Gwen felt the woman's pain.

"….Bianca is a beautiful girl who has given my daughter hope again…and that came for him and you." Gwen reassured.

…..

Katie held Bianca's hand as they rang the doorbell. Ms. Lewis was not a personable woman. There was always a sharp comment that hurt one's feelings. And in the state Mare was in, she had to be brave.

She had to do this for her sister.

Bianca admired Katie's determination as she waited for the door to open. Hearing the woman's description in car...she knew what to expect.

People didn't scare her. She had endured harsh words from social workers and from the workers at the orphanages. She endured fights from the teens when she was a child trying to fend for herself when K.C. wasn't there.

She found herself shockingly calm…and she was ready.

She was ready to protect Katie to no end.

"There is no answer." Bianca observed the rug as both became a little more distressed.

"And no key either." The rebel looked underneath the welcome rug and pot.

"I know she is in there…" Katie placed her hand on her head sending a text to Dallas.

"I have an idea…." Bianca smirked reliving her delinquent ways. Though she was good now, she had to admit that this was kind of fun.

"Binx we can't…its breaking and entering." Katie looked to see if any neighbors were watching.

"Don't be such a goody two shoes. Besides we are doing this for Mare remember…..is this her window?" The red head only nodded as Bianca pushed it up.

Luckily it was unlocked.

Climbing in first, she helped Katie inside.

Being as quiet as they could. They found her spirit squad duffle bag. Stuffing the bag with clothes.

"And what do you think you two are doing here? Like I can't hear what is going on in my own home."

The two paused. Caught. Seeing the woman's irate expression.

"Ms. Lewis….we don't want any trouble." Katie began to explain as she grabbed the bag from Bianca. Maybe she could talk some sense in the woman.

"That explains why you two used the window." The black woman began to walk closer to them. The fighter made sure Katie stood behind her.

And as Katie could not move, she could not help but notice Bianca's calm demeanor.

"Well we tried to ring the doorbell….but you didn't answer." Bianca said snarkily.

"Because I didn't want to be bothered….and be accused."

"There is a difference between accusation and the truth…..your daughter goes off and you don't search for her….you are a terrible mother." Katie gasped seeing the woman fume at her girlfriend's comment.

This wasn't fair to her. How come no one understood her side? How come no one understood that Marisol was the selfish one?

"How dare you?" Ms. Lewis gripped her hand in a fist and all Binx was concerned about was getting Katie out of there safely with Mare's clothes.

"look we don't want any trouble…" Katie lowered her voice. "I have been her friend since elementary school…you know I have her best interest at heart."

"Where is she?" Ms. Lewis lowered her guard. It didn't make sense to fight a losing battle.

"She's safe…." Katie said nicely.

"She's away from you…for once do something for your daughter. Think about her." Bianca stated as the woman backed off.

"Thank you Ms. Lewis." The two girls left.

…..

Marisol placed her hand on his back as Dallas closed his eyes at her touch. Sitting on the couch.

"I hate how I hurt you like this…." The girl stated softly. "I don't mean to do it….but no matter how hard I try…it doesn't stop."

"I just want you to see yourself how I see you?" He looked at her.

"And how is that?"

"A girl with the most beautiful brown eyes I have ever seen. Who tries to act so tough…but underneath it all…is so vulnerable….with the brightest smile."

"Mike….i like you….but…how can I trust this? How do you know that this isn't something to boost your ego?"

"Are your eyes not opened….."

"You're right." She said softly. "It's like I am trying to stop myself from falling for you."

"Are you?" He asked as she nodded.

"Then…let me help you…..do you even see me as your boyfriend?"

"Yes…"she said instinctively. This time was she kissed him.

Gently…she was nipping his lips. And he didn't stop her….and he couldn't stop his hands from touching her back. He had to make sure this was real. The feel of his lips on hers. Tongues together. He couldn't stop himself from moving her against the wall.

"I'm falling for you too." He looked in her eyes.

"We should stop." Mare breathed harder feeling his lips on her neck.

"Do you want to?" He asked pulling her shirt over her head. Kissing in her flat stomach.

"No but…." His lips crashed into hers…biting hers as he took off his shirt. Touching his chest. Her dreams were coming true.

He closed his eyes taking in her touch. His muscles moving. This was so powerful he was feeling.

"Let me show that you do matter…." Kissing her passionately as she could only let him have his way.

_Knock, Knock._

"O God!" Mare and Mike put their shirts back on.

"Save that thought for later." Dallas kissed her.

Damn it Katie…..

"Mare….." Katie immediately hugged her friend who hugged back. "Are you alright?" The red head looked at the mark on her cheek.

"Yeah….." The girl tried to catch her breath.

"Did we come at a bad time?" Bianca looked sneakily at Dallas who blushed.

"No….thanks." Mare grabbed the bag from her hand grateful for the two.

"You guys go talk…" the boy kissed her on the cheek.

Katie sat on the bed watching her best friend unpack.

"Pam didn't put up too much of a fight I hope." She hated that she let them fight her battle.

"No…not from how you described her." Katie stated as Binx sat beside her.

"That's good…because…..I'm just glad you two are safe." She smiled as Binx rested her head on Katie's shoulder.

"Did this happen last night?" She smiled at the two who nodded.

"Good..about time."

"Just like you and Mike." Mare blushed.

"He shouldn't have gotten you guys in my mess. I know he meant well but I couldn't forgive myself….if.."

"Trust me….we would have gotten out their alive despite what would have happened." Katie rolled her eyes at Bianca's cockiness. Her strength she always loved.

"So what about Drew?"

"Doesn't matter but he loves sending me stay away texts." Katie stated as Bianca held her hand. He was over and done with.

"But we don't need to be talking about our drama….we need to focus on you…."

"That's what I don't want to talk about….you guys have to understand…this is the best it is going to get. Not everyone can have the perfect mother….I look at both your families and you guys support one another…love one another….this is just the luck of the draw."

"I know she has hurt you babe…but deep down. She does care…what if she doesn't know how to show it."

"Then by the time she figures out. It will be too late." Mare said simply. Katie was always trying to look for the best situations.

"People don't change all of a sudden. It takes time…..I should know…."

"But if you can change ….so can your mom….." Bianca tried to assure her.

"You are right….she can…but I won't be in her life to see it." Marisol cynically finished packing.


	17. Sweetness

Sweetness

Chapter 17

Jimmy Eat World

…

Three weeks had passed. Many kisses had been shared. And a couple of family dinners were too.

The two families together. Laughing eating. The girls didn't have to hide anymore.

This only made them stronger. Stronger to take on the world. Stronger to take on the ones who didn't understand the true meaning of love.

It's a person's soul that mattered.

Blushing as Bianca held her hand, she eyed daggers at Fitz. He would not mess this up for them.

But he wasn't the real worry….it was Drew.

His constant scowls. His eyes showing them his disapproval. The way he made inappropriate comments at them underneath his breath during class.

And why wouldn't he? How would you feel if your exes got together…leaving you to be miserable? He knew he sounded insensitive…and he should be happy for them both. But he wasn't.

Even with Jenna trying so hard to make him happy, he wasn't.

Seeing them in class together. Holding hands. Walking in the halls. Many would call it karma. He called it disgusting.

And he never approached them…

Walking down the hallway, his ego was shattering. Hearing the snickers from girls and guys laughing at his humiliation.

It wasn't fair…it just wasn't fair.

Seeing the two in the Zenn Garden. Holding one another.

"I hope my mom likes her surprise." The brunette smiled brightly showing her girlfriend the pictures of the new spa that opened in town.

"What woman wouldn't like a spa day?" Katie giggled kissing the rough girl as her smile dropped seeing Drew approach them.

Bianca knew this day would come as she turned seeing the preppy jock in front of them.

"Not this again." Katie began. "it's bad enough you talk about us behind our backs and underneath your breath….now you….have the audacity to face us like this."

"Katie you can't dictate what I can and cannot say." The tan boy looked at their sickened expressions. He would get the last word.

"No one is trying to do that Drew….." Bianca rolled her eyes at his stupidity. She would not back down from him. She had given him too much satisfaction. This would end here.

"All I want to know is when….." He looked at them both. "Why…..how?" His face plastered with hurt and anguish.

He thought Katie was sensible. How could she not see she was being manipulated?

"Is this your plan Bianca? To get back at me by using Katie…."His eyes targeted the rebel.

"This is why I am so glad we are broken up." Katie ranted as she stood. "You always play the victim…like nothing is ever your fault." Her voice raised.

"This coming from the girl who kept pushing me away…nothing was ever good enough for you….and then you praise Bianca to no end. Why am I always the bad guy?" His voice yelled as students watched the little disturbance.

"O please Drew…." Bianca stood. "You did to Katie…what you did to me…."

"I know I hurt you both….but…." Drew began.

"but nothing…it's bad enough you send me texts to stay away….like I would want you back. You are so arrogant." The ex-president didn't care about their audience.

"I didn't do that…..that was Jenna. I told her to stop." Drew didn't see Jenna's expression drop. Once again. He found himself around the two girls.

"Good ….keep your jealous girlfriend on a leash." Bianca tried to keep herself calm. She could endure exams, teachers, bullies, but when it came to Drew. He always got under her skin.

"The world doesn't stop….and it can't because you are miserable. Move on." Bianca grabbed Katie's hand as Jenna got out of their way.

…

Jenna heard the snickers too. The tacky constellation prize. The second place girl who couldn't take a hint. She didn't show her hurt at their comments. Nothing she did was working.

Opening the door, she saw Fitz. The cigarette in his mouth. He smirked at the blonde.

"Let me guess…Valium…" He smugly put the cigarette out.

"No…I have a proposition." Jenna's desperation pleased him.

"What if I told you…I wasn't interested?" Fitz shook his head at the girl's lengths to have a supposed picture perfect life.

"Could you honestly turn down money?" Jenna batted her eyes at him.

"How much…and what's in it for me?" The bully smirked.

"Besides the money….."

"You know I already have that….." He laughed at that.

"What about a chance to get Bianca…." She saw him pause.

"She's changed teams if you didn't know…." The boy rolled his eyes at her.

"More like team confused. You think I can't see it…why you can't leave her alone…..you like her….." His face stoic. No emotions could be seen.

"Are you and me a team? I want Drew...you want Bianca." She waited for his response. Hoping this boy was the key to her desperation. She needed this.

"Tempting…but no thanks." Jenna's mouth dropped.

"You can't manipulate me…..I'm not Tori, or Drew…..I know a devil." He closed the trunk of his car.

"O so you are passing judgment on me." Jenna folded her arms.

"No….but I know ulterior motives." Fitz smirked leaving her behind.

….

Tori sat in the student council office. Seeing the vulnerable side of Marisol. She had never seen this before….and it scared her….what was she going to say.

"You don't have to say it…..I already know that I can't be captain after you leave."

"Did I say that?" Mare looked at the pictures of her and Mike together.

"I want you to still lead….Tori…..this is meant for you…..but you can't guarantee me that you won't go back." Tori listened to her.

"This is going to be a struggle I will have for the rest of my life…..but I know I can do this Mare…."

"I know that Tori. You are surrounded by people who love you." Mare gave her smile as she shut down her laptop.

"I'm glad Katie is doing well too." The underclassman let go of the breath. "For once, I woke up and didn't regret my choice." She looked in her purse pulling out the envelope.

"It's from Zig. I keep it because I'm scared Tris will throw it away…..I called him the other day…..but he didn't respond….."

"Seems to me like you two are both afraid to face each other. You two have been through a lot. And one minute it's like you feel love, hate, hurt and joy all in one." Mare saw the girl look at her with awe.

"I'm sorry…this is just so new to me….you being so open like this. I remember when I first saw you…I thought you were so gorgeous….and the way you take control of the squad….I want to be like that…I just don't want to let anyone else down…I keep disappointing people."

"Babe…you will be great….you just have to do it your own way. Plus...the counselor will be with you step by step." Tori nodded at the assumed agreement.

"But this disappointment I have for myself….my parents want to talk to me…and I keep telling them tomorrow…"

"But at least you are talking to them…..you couldn't do that before…." The black girl stated.

"I just hope my parents won't expect me to be their little girl who wanted to do pageants and who believed in unicorns."

"They will be just happy to see you sweetie." The cheerleader hugged her friend.

….

Tristan saw the blonde sit in the library….reading….how studious of her. Laughing he walked passed her table as she looked in his direction.

She would not be patronized by an underclassman. Every second she was losing control of her world. How could this be happening to her? How could this have backfired on her?

Tristan knew it was wrong to rejoice when one had hit rock bottom….but she deserved this. Her and Drew. What she did to Tori…was unforgivable….and Katie….

"I didn't know you could read Jenna." The boy walked past the blonde.

"Shut-up." She closed her book with agitation looking in his eyes.

"It's just so funny….you tried to steal Tori's position…and you got kicked off of Power Squad. You tried to steal Katie's boyfriend….and it looks like he wants…"

"I will not be talked about by a guy who wraps himself in his best friend's problem to overlook the fact that he doesn't have a life himself." Jenna bit back.

"O…good one Jenna….it's called being a friend. Something you know nothing of….but since I am on the subject….what does it feel like to not be wanted by guys. K.C. didn't want you…..now it's Drew….it must be something…"

"Excuse me…." The librarian came from the back room. "If you guys can't keep your voices down….you need to leave." Both gathered their things.

"This isn't over….not by a long shot." Jenna snapped. She would get her dignity back.

….

Tori sat in front of her locker. Eating a sandwich. For the first time, she could actually taste something. The envelope beside her. She kept glancing at it.

In her hands, was a Pandora's box. Did she want to open it? Did she actually want to hear about Zig choosing Maya…and his lack of regret.

Did she want to read about him not going to see Maya because he was too weak.

She would either feel hate or sadness towards him…but she couldn't let everything she fought for be taken away by this one person.

Closing her eyes, she envisioned Maya sitting beside her. Her brown eyes glowing with compassion.

"_Come on Tore…you can do this." The blonde smiled at her._

"_No I can't…."_

"_This isn't about how he treated me or you….this is about you moving on. You can't keep holding on to me. So much you have lost." The blonde held her hand._

"_I just feel that if I move on…I won't….remember you…I have Tris….but I need someone else to gossip with…to give me neutral advice….."_

"_I am here Tori…just because I am not here doesn't mean I'm not with you here." Maya pointed to her heart._

"_Katie has what she always wanted…..it's your turn…." Maya kissed her cheek._

Owen saw the girl as she slept. A tear crawling out her eyes.

Taking a deep breath, she opened them seeing the muscular boy with deep blue eyes.

Seeing him sit beside her, she pushed those thoughts aside.

"I think I'm ready to open this." She folded her lips together.

"You want me to leave?" He watched her natural curls enhance her beauty.

"No…I need you here. I can't do this by myself." She grabbed his hand as he sat down. Taking one deep breath, she opened the envelope slowly. Pulling the sheet out.

His sloppy handwriting that took all her concentration to read…..

_Tori,_

_ After this moment. You don't have to talk to me again…but know this. I am sorry for the hell I put you and Maya through. Every day I walk by your house, hoping to talk to you. But I can not find the courage to. That's right. I am a coward. But I want you to know that you did not deserve to be thrown away. Maya did not deserve to forgotten. I wish there were words to express how sorry I am, but I cant find any. Take care. BTW, I am glad you have Tris to watch out for you._

_Zig_

"You don't have to say anything." Owen saw her saddened expression.

"No..unlike before….I am alright….At least he admitted it….." Tori found herself smiling.

"Are you going to see him…." He asked as she shook her head.

"It's still too soon for me." She put the letter in her bag.

…

Bianca grabbed her drink from the vending machine as she was disturbed by the bully himself. As much as she hated to admit it, she did miss Fitz. His snarky comments. His morbid sense of humor. But he would never change…and

She did change…

"Go on…say it…dyke-a-delic…." Bianca looked at him as he followed her in the hallway. It seemed as if they were an attraction once again.

"Why would I say that?" Fitz drank his "water". She really hated his guts.

"Because you are Fitz…you have no friends. No emotions…hell you only told me K.C. took drugs because you knew it would hurt me." Bianca looked him in the eyes.

"I have emotions too….but you just have to accept that I'm not like you and K.C….never the less, you two were my best friends." He finally told the truth. Opened himself up again.

"I don't want to hear this….do you know how much it hurt knowing that you didn't come to the funeral…."

"Binx…you don't understand the hell you put me through when you stopped being my friend. You knew my feelings for you…."He admitted aloud as she listened.

"And then you walk around with Drew…now Katie…." Fitz breathed harder.

"I'm not going to apologize for liking who I like….and you will not hurt Katie…ever." She stated firmly.

"I'm over it….but at least you could talk to me and stop being condescending towards me. If it wasn't for me…."

"If it wasn't for you K.C. would be alive…."

"That accident wasn't my fault. I didn't force him to take drugs Bianca…and you know that.. He was the one who asked me." Fitz admitted. As if the guilt didn't eat him alive enough.

"Why?" Bianca waited for the truth.

"I don't know….I don't know…..you act as if you are not the only one suffering from losing someone. Do you know what it is like to watch someone you care for go through addiction?"

"You know I do…kids in and out the orphanage." she stated firmly.

"I could sell it to anyone…but not to him…he forced me…."

"Bullshit…." Bianca said loudly. "You were grateful to sell it to him because you were jealous."

"Yeah….I was jealous…but K.C. will always be my brother…and I know you know that."

"_I need valium." The sandy blonde stood at his former friend's car. The badass ignoring his presence. The urgency in his voice._

"_Amazing how you don't talk to me until you need something." The brunette said smugly getting out of his car._

"_Look do you have it?" The bully looked in his friend's bloodshot eyes. How could Bianca and Lena not see this? This wasn't from lack of sleep._

"_No…get it somewhere else…" He locked his car as the other stood in front of him._

"_I know you have it….I need it."_

"_For what? Since you sold out, I'm surprised you don't know anyone else who can help you."_

"_I have money." K.C. showed him a one hundred._

"_What would Lena do if she found out about this?"_

"_That isn't your concern…or hers. Now are you going to give me what I want?"_

"_Not until you tell me what for? Bianca is going to kick your ass when she finds out. And mine."_

"_Then I will make sure she doesn't….we aren't friends anymore…so like I said before….this isn't your concern." Fitz could only take the money giving him his pills._

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner?" Bianca stated.

"Because you wouldn't have believed me….why do you think he began?"

"Maybe it was his nightmares at night….maybe it was the pressure he felt to succeed. I don't know either." She began to cry as Fitz didn't know what to do. Enveloping her. He held her tightly…because this was all he was going to get.


	18. Interlude: Everybody

Interlude:

Everybody wants to love

Ingrid Michaelson

…

Fitz found himself here…once in a while. Staring at his friend. Many claimed he was dead. In his eyes, K.C. was just resting peacefully.

He wasn't supposed to be like this. The boy who controlled and caused fear from others. It was all he knew.

Yet somehow, he was beginning to break. And he didn't care what happened to him. He didn't care if he would live to see tomorrow or the next second.

But at least he told Bianca how he felt….although nothing would come of it.

"Damn you K.C." He said to his friend who he was sure could hear him now.

"You abandon me….use me….and you leave me." The boy held his fists.

The middle aged woman saw the boy scream at her son.

And it was what he needed to do.

Seeing his pain. She never thought for once that he went through this. She just wanted to protect her children from the evils of this world.

"It's ok baby." Lena held the boy who cried in the woman's arms.

"You should hate me….."

"But I don't dear…." Lena listened.

"After what I did to your son…."

"He did that to himself….." The woman had to accept that fact.

"how can you talk to me…"

"Because….K.C. is gone…and there is nothing I can do about it….but I can at least try to understand you and his relationship….I see now that you are hurting too." The boy only nodded.

…..

"It's been awhile since I have been here." Connor smiled sipping some coffee. It always felt good to be with Bianca. She was a remnant of K.C.

And then.

He found himself frowning.

"What's wrong?" The girl looked at her friend's saddened disposition.

"Sometimes I just find myself thinking of him. Knowing that the rumors of him were true….and finding myself helpless because I couldn't help him…and now…I…I just miss him more than I let on."

Bianca nodded noticing how his counselor was helping him become more open.

"I will always miss him…." The girl drank her cappuccino.

"I miss you too Binx." He sipped slowly.

"I am right here." She grabbed his hand.

"Now….but you will be busy with Katie…just like when you were with Drew….you left me alone." He said lightly as the girl bit her lip.

She didn't realize she did this to her friend. She didn't want to put anyone before her true friends.

"I am sorry for that…I guess I got so caught up….I didn't realize I was leaving you behind." The brunette shrugged. She didn't want to be a bad friend.

"I understand…..I really do…I am the awkward one….Drew doesn't like me….and Katie won't either." He sipped sadly.

"Sweetie…she will love you. She is on her way now…..I wanted us to hang out together."

"She must be good if you are calling me sweetie." He teased as she rolled her eyes.

"Shut-up." She hit him with the bag as he shook his head.

"I'm really happy for you Binx."

"and I am proud of you." She stated.

…..

Mare ignored her mother's call again. She would not let the woman destroy this for her…and Mike. She knew it was fantasy. But she didn't want it to end.

For once, she felt like she had something solid to depend on.

Finishing her essay on the carpet, she looked up seeing her boyfriend walk in.

"I grabbed us something to eat…..I know how you like those sandwiches at Lena's café." His deep voice echoed.

"You know me so well." She kissed him as he heard her phone ring once again.

"Why didn't you tell me your mom was calling again?" He shrugged. Wait they weren't married. She didn't have to tell him anything….but he was just too overly concerned.

"Because I don't want to hear her tell me to come back home….or we can talk about this. They are just lies….for a week…it will be great…then the next…she will change back….I can't put myself through that….I've been filling out so many financial aid papers …just to get away from her….University of Ottawa here I come ." She grabbed the bag from his hand.

"I want to talk to you about something." He sat at the table.

Dates at the The Dot. Walks in the park. Weekend trips and study sessions. The two had grown.

And he found himself planning their life together.

Watching her unpack their food, he took a deep breath. He hoped he wouldn't push her away by his revelation.

"I got into University of Ottawa too….a full ride." He said as she beamed.

"Congratulations babe. Why didn't you tell me you applied?" She jumped into his arms as he held her.

"It wasn't finalized….." He got them some water as Mare watched his body language.

"What else?" She inquired.

"…..I want you to stay with me." He said softly as she looked in his eyes.

"Are you serious?" she asked.

"Yes." He waited for a response.

"But I can't live off of you like that…that is why I will be getting a job." She smiled as he kissed her.

"I just want us to come home to someone who we l….care for." She nodded.

Did she hear what she thought she heard?

She would save it for another and not ruin the moment.

…

The woman and boy sat in The Dot. Good thing Katie or Bianca were not here…or they would tag teamed the boy….or worse….Marisol…

Lena saw how many of the teens were eyeing them oddly. And her heart almost sympathized for the boy. Almost. She had to keep in mind that his actions brought him these consequences.

Fitz looked at the woman as she ordered their meals.

Watching the beautiful brunette eat her salad, he saw what K.C. and Bianca saw but that did not change the face.

"This doesn't make me want to change….so you give this to someone more deserving of it." The boy folded his arms.

"This isn't to change you….it's called generosity." She continued eating.

"Well I don't need your generosity."

"You know…I was trying to do a good deed for someone my son called friend. Now shut your ungrateful ass up….and eat." She said sternly as the boy obeyed.

"They didn't tell me you were like this…no wonder they went straight and narrow." He continued to chew. Better than his drunken uncle who was barely there.

Saving up his money to get an apartment…and not depend on anyone.

"I just can't believe a boy with so much potential wants to not use it."

"How do you know what I have lady?" He continued to eat bitterly.

"For a guy who can make connects and distribute….you definitely have communications skills." The woman analyzed.

"I don't need you to patronize me….."

"You could at least show me gratitude for paying for your dinner." The woman watched him.

"I appreciate it…..but let's be honest…my future is already written for me." Fitz sipped his drink as put a 20 on the table.

"You didn't have to buy me a meal you know." He walked out the shop.

Some people will never learn.

….

Taking one deep breath, she saw him through the glass door. Sitting. Eating. Laughing.

Pretending she didn't exist.

Pretending as if she didn't matter in his world.

And she realized, he wasn't pretending.

The things she did to seek his approval and affection.

She was so desperate and stupid.

His constant lies. There was no errand he hand run.

And she couldn't run away from this either.

Opening the door, Drew jumped at the disturbance.

"Jenna?" his eyes showed shock as he had his arm around another girl.

"That was quick." Her sarcasm made him shrug.

"yeah it was." He stated as the girl walked to the bathroom.

"you are a liar…." Jenna's outburst awakened the eatery..

"Jenna….babe." Drew no longer had the energy to try to lie.

"o my god…I believed you. I did everything…and you still don't…you left me for a freshman." The audience watched the scene. Same old Jenna.

"but I do…just not like…." He began.

"stop lying…like you did with Bianca…and Katie…I thought I was different…but I'm not. You can't avoid this…if you don't want me…then say it."

"I don't want you…..I don't know what I want…." His honesty cut her deeper.

"Why didn't you tell me…" The blonde felt more like a fool as she saw some were recording the conversation.

"I didn't want to hurt you….and you really do care for me….we had a lot of fun." Drew tried to hug her.

"So you used me for sex…." She hit his chest.

"No…I thought you were what I wanted."

"Good to know…." She cried. "And fuck you too." Leaving everyone behind.

…..

"Guys I don't like pictures." Connor felt like a puppy around the two girls. But he did like Katie. He judged to quickly of the prissy over achiever.

She was gorgeous just like Bianca….and surprising carefree. But who was he to call someone uptight.

"Come on Connor." Katie posed trying to make him feel accepted by her.

Bianca could only smile at the two.

"Relax" Katie smiled at the boy. "I don't bite." She teased as Bianca gave her naughty look that made her blush.

So this was his friend now. He had heard so many comments from his classmates.

They are just experimenting. Whatever that meant.

They are both getting back at Drew. That did make sense, but one thing he was was observant.

He could always tell when two people liked each other.

"Is it different being with girls than with a guy?" His naivety got the better of him. Seeing them both look at him with blush.

"That was out of line…I am still working on that."

"No…you don't have to apologize….I honestly can't answer that. When I see Bianca…" She sat on the girl's lap in the rebel's room. "I don't think of a girl or boy…it's how she makes me feel."

"It's like everyone is so curious of our relationship…but they fail to see that it is nothing different than any other relationship."

"I wish K.C. was here….to see your happiness."

"You think he would be happy for me?"

"Yes….he knew you would find yourself." He smiled at the two.

….

"You don't have to do this you know?" Tori eyed the muscular boy who brought her a chicken wrap.

"Yeah I did….it took guts…besides Tris needs time to relax himself."

"He does…I can be a burden." The girl shrugged as Owen mentally kicked himself.

"I didn't mean it like that. Tris and I help you because we want too." He found himself blushing.

"I know….it's just what Mare said…I have a lot to be thankful for. I can actually be cheer captain next year with weekly counselor visits. Jenna won't be on the squad either thanks to me." She took a bite.

"Would you let her back on if she apologized?" His curiosity got the best of him.

"I don't know…I am proof that people try to change and do better…but that girl can be so cruel….I mean….it did work out for me in the end…but she threw me under the bus because of jealousy….I can't trust someone like that."

"And what about your parents?"

"I don't know just yet." She shrugged.

"My mom…I love her…but her unrealistic pressures before Maya's death….I don't want to break down again."

"I know you don't. But you can't keep avoiding them…I didn't tell you this…but last week your mom came over." He avoided her gaze.

"Why didn't you tell me? I would expect this from Tris but not you." Folding her arms in disapproval, she shook her head.

"She asked me not to…"

"That doesn't matter…." Tori stated.

"I just…I don't know why."

_Owen saw the gorgeous Philipino woman…with a look of regret…speak to his brother._

"_Owen…." The woman acknowledged the older brother's presence. "I know she's doing fine…or else you would have called….."_

"_I just….it's so hard. I drive by here every day hoping to see her outside." Mrs. Santamaria's voice leaked with need for her child as Tris joined the conversation._

"_Mrs. Santamaria…let me go…" Tris attempted to get his sister._

"_No….I'm the reason she is in this state in the first place….and I hate myself for it….I call everyday…and she gives me the same excuse….but I can't blame her….I just want her to know that I love her." She wept as Owen hugged her._

"_Promise me if you need anything….money…anything….please let me know…"_

"_We will…talk to her….."_

"_No don't do that…don't force her…this is her personal choice." She looked at the two boys._

"At least she doesn't hate me." The girl looked at her shaking fingers. Owen quickly grabbed her hand seeing her light blush.

"This urge…I'm surprised I haven't gotten use to it yet." She found herself lacing them together.

"but you never give into it." He admired her strength.

"Yeah…my parents do deserve to see me. They are reaching out to me….I just wish I was brave enough."

"What do think Maya would tell you to do?"

"Talking is the best way to release these feelings….I swear it was like she was with me a week ago. I heard her voice.

"Seems like she led you in the right direction."

…

"It's not wrong for wanting to be Fitz friend again….you miss him." The red head emphasized as they laid on Bianca's bed.

"You don't get it Katie….he's not worthy of being my friend…everything he has done…we changed he didn't."

"But from what you told me…he needs to cope too. He has no one in his life obviously."

"What s made you turn the other cheek?"

"The fact that he always finds opportunity to cling to you…he needs you…." The soccer player let go of the grudge.

"But his feelings…" She touched the red head's hair as she began to breathe.

"I know it's tricky…but you want to help him. That's why I like you so much…you want to help others after they hurt you. Just like Lena."

"she is my mother…real mother after all."

"Do you ever wonder what your birth parents are like?"

"I use too…I use to think that my mom would always come and save me….tell me that she loved me and she would never leave my side….I remember wanting to find them…but even with K.C….my life was liveable. I don't want it any other way…" she held Katie's hand.

Katie couldn't help but stare at her lips. Her supple lips that always took her away from her troubles. But she had not initiated a kiss yet. And this moment seemed right.

The way Binx laid on the bed…her eyes staring into hers as she sat up.

"I really want to kiss you…."

"What's stopping you then?"

Katie gently brushed her lips against hers. Feeling Bianca's hand touch her lower back as her own fingers cupped the tough chick's face. On top of her, she couldn't resist her sweet taste. Tongues fighting for dominance….Bianca let Katie win….it was nice to see the girl take control.

"Are you sure this is for real?" Katie squealed.

"I hope so." The two laced hands.

"Me too…with Drew….it was so…it just…I wanted more…I didn't feel sparks anymore….."

"So…what do you feel like with me?"

"Alive….I feel more like myself with you than when I am by myself or even with Mare." She bit her lip.

"Me too…"


End file.
